To: My Brain
Re: Slacking on the job
There seems to be an issue with remembering lately. Car keys, events, names, and, dates are all being forgotten at an alarming rate. I'm expressing my concern because it seems that every time I go to pull out something from a file in my memory it's all muddled and blurred. Post-it notes have been doing the job to an extent, but my family is growing weary of this practice. They're not always too practical either. For example- a note stuck to the baby's onesie that says, "Diaper last changed: 8 a.m." could fall off within minutes and leave me changing a soggy diaper at 3 in the afternoon trying desperately to recall if she'd been changed at all that day. Also- unless the info needing to be remembered is readily on hand, they don't work, which totally defeats the purpose of them in the first place. Like trying to recall memories from five or six years ago. (Yes, I'm quite aware that this is not all that long ago...) If I remembered in the first place, if you, brain, were doing your job, I wouldn't have to stand there shrugging my shoulders with a washed out expression on my face apologizing for my lack of remembrance as someone embarks on yet another "remember when" story.
It has come to the point where friends and family are giving me polite smiles when I stutter, "I-I just don't remember..." They're even going so far as to make excuses for me, "The third baby will do it to ya," they say. But I'm sure I can hear them whispering and chuckling behind my back, "Just wait a few years... This is going to be entertaining." Then, they'll go and say something like, "Hey, Sarah- remember when you were ten and... blah, blah, blah," as they're snickering behind their hands- turning red in the face trying to disguise their laughter. Ha. Ha. Seems that I'm the only one not finding this so amusing. My mom tries to be reassuring- she tells me it will get better- but I can't determine if I believe her. At the rate my brain cells seem to be dropping off, I think it's just a matter of time before I need a post-it note stuck to my shirt reminding me what my name is.
So, in conclusion- I'd just like to give you a heads up. (No pun intended). It would be greatly appreciated if you would just complete the tasks you signed up to do so I can once again remember all the things I think I should not have forgotten.
Your cooperation is much appreciated. I look forward to remembering things again.