Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Phone company support guy

The following is an actual conversation that took place sometime in the last week of May between me and the phone company support guy. Names have been omitted to protect the devious. After being on hold for a good period of time and hearing the "your call is important to us. please stay on the line..." message about 15 times... After running from room to room to get away from whiney, fighting kids, even locking myself in the bathroom at one point before deciding whoever did decide to finally answer my call deserved to hear some background music... this guy answers the phone:

phone company support guy: This is blah-blah-blah what can I help you with today.
me: Oh. Uh... Yeah, I was wondering why the price of my internet went up 5 dollars. I was paying around $15 and the price went up to around $20...
phone company supprt guy: Okay, let me just pull up your file and I'll take a look. clickity-clickity-clickity-click.(after he's retrieved my internet/phone info and probably half my life's history as well.): Okay. Okay, you should have recieved a notice that we were raising our rates begining this billing period.
me: Oh. Ohhh. Really? You guys, uh... sent something that said that? Um. I don't remember getting anything. (Or perhaps it's left in my unopened mail still? Huh. Wonder what else is in that stack then. Wherever it is.)
phone company supprt guy: Yes, it should have been mailed out to you.
me: Oh. So. You can't, like, give me my old rates back?
phone company support guy: I'm sorry, m'am this was a decision made cooperately. but I'll tell you what I can do. Since you were unaware of the rate increase I'm going to credit your next bill $5. That will not be effective until your next bill so it will not change this bill. This will be a one time credit, noticible on your next bill.
me: Okay, uh, thanks. That was my next bill, then?
phone company support guy: Yes. That will be on your next bill. Okay, just a minute while I go ahead and apply that credit to your account. clickity-click-click-clickity. click. Ooookay. I went ahead and applied that credit... (let me guess... I should expect that on my next bill???). All right m'am, what I'm going to do for you today is send out a $20 rebate for you. I'm going to get that in the mail to you right away just for upgrading your internet to our mega-ultra-super-fast-speed internet. (okay, so that wasn't the exact name.)
me: Um....?
phone company support guy: All right, I'll just send that out to you. You'll get our mega-ultra-super-fast-speed internet for only $24.95 a month...blah, blah, blah.
me: Excuse me? I called to ask you why my price went up to $20... I'm not interested in upgrading so I can spend even more.
phone company support guy: Oh. Okay. Is there anything else I can help you with today, m'am?
me: No thanks.

Wah. They get you. Watch out- dealing with these people is not for the faint-of-heart.

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