Monday, July 7, 2008

Breaking and Entering

During our stay at the camp, I had to return to town to work in a wedding for a friend I used to work with. Before my story, let me say- it was a beautiful wedding and a perfect day. They looked so happy in love as they began their new life together!

Well, the wedding was at 4:00 and I planned to get to the church by 3:30. I needed to pick up Jill and make a "quick" stop at home to pick up my shoes. I had remembered everything except dress shoes. No big deal, right. Haha. Ha.

Somehow I got ready early and was ready to go by 2:30 or so. And luckily. I decided to go home before I picked up Jill so I could get my shoes and a few other things that we needed out at the camp (newspapers, a kite, etc- you know, real important stuff). So... I pull in the driveway at about 5 to three, saunter up the steps- hair neatly done, dress on- reach out to turn the doorknob, and find out the porch door is locked. And my key for the porch door is inside the house. And the other one is back at the camp on Ryan's key ring. And then I start to panic.

I run to the van, empty the contents of my purse till I locate my cell phone, frantically dial Ryan's number and race around the house to see if by some rare chance the back door was left unlocked. No such luck. When Ryan answers I start yelling like a crazy woman, "The-door-is locked! My shoes are inside and the porch door is locked! I don't have a key for that door. Just the inside door. Did you lock this door?! What should I do??? I have to get my shoes! I can't go to the wedding in running shoes!"

Meanwhile, he's telling me to calm down and try unlocking the basement door with a credit card. Ha. Knowing in my mind how this one is going to go, I pull out an old library card from my wallet, slide it in the door... and promptly cracked it in two. Now I'm really panicking. "That's NOT going to work!" I'm yelling in the phone, "What should I DO? I have to get in there! I don't know who else would have shoes I can wear!! I'm going to break a window!" Poor Ryan's on the other end still telling me to calm down and try the credit card trick again, and to not break a window. But I'm not buying it. Instead I hang up after telling him again I'm going to have to break a window.

So... I run around the house, bound up the porch steps and examine the windows, seriously contemplating which window I should try. The door would be my best bet, I decide, seeing as it's going to get replaced soon anyways. But it's plexiglass. How do I break that? Arrrgh. Or could I climb on up on the back porch and hope the bathroom window isn't locked? Then I notice a screen is left in the window on the front of the porch. So easy. Again, Haha. Ha.

So I race to the backyard, my dress blowing in the wind, and retreive the pool ladder. I grab the ladder and run (as well as one can run) with the ladder back to the front of the house and plop it right in the middle of the shrubs that are growing there. At this point, I figure I should glance around to see if I'm being watched and as it figures, there's a woman walking by trying to not to look, but I can see I'm drawing up suspicions in her mind. And how can't you watch- I mean, here I am in my dress and running shoes clammoring up a shaky ladder.

I push the screen out (it's one of those kind you prop in your window, you know?). Then, I push down the table in front of the window feeling like an intruder. Wobbling at the top of the ladder, I glance back at the woman one more time figuring she's going to get more of a show than she bargained for on this walk. How does one gracefully climb through a window in a knee-length dress? I know I did not master it. My dress was around my waist by the time I finally made it through, I was sweating, and I had a large scratch across my forearm. But I made it in.

I called Ryan back. "Hi, gasp, gasp, I-made-it-in-don't-have-time-to-talk-bye."

All I knew was I was glad I had allowed extra time for that excursion. And I will now carry the key for the porch on my key ring. Oh, and we made it to the wedding on time too. Nothing like a little adventure to spice up the afternoon.

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