Five minutes?

As I was sprawled across the couch this evening after supper, begging please kids... just let me close my eyes for ten.... okay, for five minutes, I understood why I'll never be able to give up coffee. Never. Five minutes- even three- must violate some code somewhere about mom taking a rest because as soon as I hit the couch I had three little monkeys lined up alongside me with all intents to disrupt my shut-eye as much as possible.

One is prying my eyes open (making the other two giggle right above my head), one is climbing up and down on top of me, and the other is obsessed with making sure I'm comfortable- do you want your feet covered, mom? Hmmm? No, thanks, I'm warm. I'll just cover them for you. Oh. Well, yeah, sure. Whatever.

Then one had the brilliant idea to throw the kiddie vacuum under the couch- while it was running. Please take that out, I asked trying to keep my voice neutral. Why, they ask, will it go dead? Uh, yeah. That's why. That combined with the fact that napping while having what sounds like a chainsaw running under my head is, come to find out, nearly impossible. No biggie, though.

Catch, mom! yells one and an orange rubber ball with a picture of Bugs Bunny on it connects with my forehead. The baby cries, the other two laugh, I roll over. Not surprisingly, the baby cries louder because now my eyes are not there for her to poke and prod to her content.

At last, I staggered into the kitchen, made some more coffee refusing to count how many cups I've already had today and admitted defeat. I'll just remain in my caffeine-induced stupor and we'll all be okay. Never mind that as soon as I stood, they all scattered to the other side of the room and suddenly became engrossed in some activity that did not- in any way- involve me or the couch.

As it turns out resting while you're still raising kids is against all rules. Huh. Who knew?