There is a chocolate cream pie in my fridge...

... And no one here to help me eat it. There aren't too many positive scenarios that could result from this one, that's all I know.

I'm not someone who likes too much planning...

Ah, such fun to jump right into a brand new, um, schedule. Ha. Today was somewhat of a crazy day as the fall semster started up and Ryan & I began classes. Hm. Now, there's a sentence I would have never thought I'd utter a few years ago. Clinicals began and once again my class was somewhat thrown into the whole experience. Once again I questioned why I was doing this. And yes, once again, I reminded myself it's too late to back out now. I'm still trying to become convinced of that fact.

In some respects, it will be nice to get back into a... ahem... okay, I'm just going to say this... a schedule. As you may or may not have gathered... I rather despise that word and try to use it as little as possible. Schedule? All I can think of is plans and set times and requirements. And those words do nothing but increase stress levels as far as I'm concerned. I love my to-do lists dearly... but actually scheduling things for a set moment and time? I'd rather leave that to the experts, thank-you very much. But, yes, I will humbly admit that I am ready to get on with it.

Sigh.

The kids are tired and crabby from running to the camp everynight, and I'm cranky that my house is burried in dirty dishes, stacks of laundry, and unopened mail teetering off the table by the door. So, that's it. I'm putting my foot down. Bedtime is moving back up to 8 p.m. (for them, not me!) and I'm once again setting my alarm instead of sleeping in until they wake. And I think I'll go buy a planner tomorrow.

Oh, wow. Seriously. I don't even know who I am anymore.

And Time Moves On

Well.
Whataweek.
Had an awesome last hurrah of summer for the past week and a half while my sister and her family were in town. Lots of visiting, laughs, good desserts, saunas, swims, and blueberries. Even I broke down and went picking a few times. I claimed I was on strike from picking this year because I had too many left in my freezer from last year... but at the rate they were all hauling pails out of the patch, I had to join in the fun. It's addicting when you see how much is really out there.

Wouldn't it be nice to bottle up all the awesome summer memories and open it up, say, sometime in January? I felt sad leaving the camp tonight. Time to say good-bye to family... Family that's going back to their home and family that's moving to new places... Good-bye to the beautiful, carefree days of summer.

Enjoying the moment

Nothing like an uxpected break! Today is the day I usually take massage appointments. Only... I had two last night that were supposed to be this evening... and I had the two afternoon appointments cancel on me... And that was all I had lined up for today. So... Suddenly my schedule is wide open. Blank. I love the feeling of suddenly having nothing to do.

Now, technically, technically I should just take the afternoon to read a book because, really, I wasn't going to get anything done if I was working, correct? So therefore it stands to reason that I really don't have to do anything. Or- I suppose I could/should take the opportunity to get some projects done around here that I just can never to find a minute for.

Hah. I should know better by now not to make plans before the kids are even awake. What seems like endless time to spare is usually spread out quickly once they're up.

To make today even sweeter- it's the day my sister and her family come to town! I've been looking forward to this for much of the summer. It's one of those things that- you can't wait for, yet at the same time you're trying not to get too excited because it also means: after this week- summer is over. Done. Not to sound negetive or anything (because I actually am coming to terms with school starting. Gasp!) But, so it goes. Half sweet, half sad: time moves on.

So today is all about savoring the sweetness of the moment. Enjoying unexpected breaks for all they are worth, relishing in one more week of vacation. Cherishng visits with family, taking in the sunshine. Living for this moment righ here and now.

Time to make some coffee, sit back, and read a book. Er, um... I mean... uh? Scrub the bathrooms?

This one? That one? I. Don't. Know. What. You. Want.

Wouldn't you know... We went to a beautiful local beach this evening with the kids... and the batteries in my camera were completely dead. Not even an speck of juice left in them. I even tried switching them around (like I could trick the camera or something) just to get one shot of the beautiful lake. No luck. No pictures. So it's locked away in my memory and hopefully we'll get back there on another nice evening. It's one of those places where we never go. It's not that far... and it's so pretty... But it's always forgotten. New vow: we will get back there one more time this summer or fall.

The kids loved it there. They wouldn't have wanted to leave but we promised them ice cream cones... Only we got cheap on the way home, and after calculating what it was going to cost for us all to get cones- and have two of them get thrown away half eaten- we decided to just stop at the grocery store for a 1/2 gallon of ice cream and continued home to the box of cones there. Funny how life changes things like that. The kids really didn't know what it was to go out for ice cream when we took them about a month ago- at this age they're easily pleased.

Hah. Most of the time.

I laugh, becasue these days my 2 year old is not so easy to please. The funny thing is- he's always been my easygoing, carefree, smiley kid. In fact, I often receive the comment, "Is he always so smiley?" And typically, he is. But these days... these days he's trying my patience. Argh. I think he's getting his two-year molars. And that makes for the following scenarios:

Me: Jack do you want this? (offering him cereal)
Jack: Noooooo.
Me: How about oatmeal?
Jack: Uh-uhhhhh!
Me: Ooookay (breathe... count to ten)... This?
Jack (now begining to really whine): Iwannit!
Me: WHAT? what do you want? (I will stay calm. I will not lose my temper.)
Jack: jink
Me: Juice?
Jack: Yah!
Me (pulling a cup out of the cupboard and starting to pour)
Jack: NOoooOOO!
Me: What??? (Come on, kid. It's just a cup... The stuff inside is gonna be the same.)
Jack: dawon.
Lydia (who has recently aquired a patience with him she's never had before): My brother wants that one.
Me: This cup? (Counting, counting... My patience is fading fast.)
Jack: Noooo!
Me: Okay. You want to go back to bed or you want juice? I am NOT going to stand here all day trying to figure out which cup you want! (And there goes whatever patience I had. Great way to start the day.)

And so goes our mornings. Nearly every morning these days. And our lunches. And our dinners. I'm so ready for this stage to be over. Or his teeth to come in. Sigh.

August Is...

It's backyard picnics and sunny afternoons. It's warm evenings but cooler nights. Shooting stars that leave glowing trails across the midnight sky. Bonfires on the beach where everyone huddles around- trying to stay warm. It's toasted marshmellows, it's hooded sweatshirts at night. It's barefeet for a little while longer.

August is the moment between the lazy days of summer and the crisp days of fall. It's those last dips in the lake that never really warmed up. It's high winds and massive waves, whispering that fall is approaching with each thundering crash. It's visiting with family, it's one last vacation, it's quiet and still and crazy all once.

August is meant for finishing summer plans, forgetting September's schedules. It's remembering and celebrating and cherishing the quiet part of summer. August is blueberries and pies, hot coffee, good visits, and family. It's taking in the best that summer has to offer and wrapping it all into a few precious memories.

August is holding on to summer for as long as we can.

Beautiful Moments

Tonight as I was sitting in the living room, I noticed rain had begun to fall outside even though the sky was quite bright and rays of sunshine were still peaking through the clouds. I went out on the back steps and saw the faint beginings of a rainbow tracing it's way across the sky so I called Lydia out to come and look at it. (Jack was already in bed.)

When she saw the rainbow glowing brighter and brighter in a perfect arc above us, her eyes became so big and round. She remarked, "I never saw a rainbow in my whole life!" and I was suddenly so glad I had let her stay up later than her little brother and sister tonight. Such a sweet moment!

This picture hardly does justice to how pretty it really was. We're surrounded by houses and telephone wires and... well... taking pictures that aren't obscured by all of this is virtually impossible. Oh well.

So glad it's the weekend! Hope yours is a good one.

18 Days to go

Not like I'm already counting down... But I can't help realizing that August 25th is quickly approaching. And that makes me nervous. I'm already hearing people saying how it's kind of nice knowing fall is coming and how it's always good to be getting back to schedules. Not me. Nope. Not even a little tiny bit. My palms start sweating, my heart picks up it's pace, and I start to feel like it's not so easy to breathe. Just a little mild anxiety setting in. Minor.

August 25th in this house means... the start of the fall semester. Ryan starts school full time. I start my clinicals that day. Just thinking about it, a fine layer of sweat pops out over my forehead. AHH! What in the world have we gotten ourselves into?? Oh, and just as a side note: I would not reccomend going to nursing school at the same time as your spouse. You tend to run into all kinds of issues. Like... oh, I don't know... Who's gonna watch the kids at 6:45 on Monday mornings? Or, lets see... what's life going to be like without my hubby working?! Or gee, here's a good one: how might exam week present itself?

All I know is this: the countdown is on whether I'm ready or not. On good days I'm feeling allright about all this... yeah... we can handle this! Woo Hoo! On other days I'm only aware of this nagging sensation that I'm going to choke. And I feel like being a little kid, stomping my feet and whining, "But my break just started. I'm not ready to go back." Ack.

The bright side of going back to school with kids, however, is they give endless hugs, have endless love. And that makes everything seem a whole lot better. And they can usually make us laugh. Unless of course it's the third time milk has been spilled at dinner. Or your two year old dumps his half-eaten-cereal back into the box, milk and all, because he's decided he wants a different kind. Or you've just gotten the kids dressed and set to go, running somewhat behind, and you find them in the backyard splashing in the kiddie pool, soaked to the bone. Then things tend to get a little, uh, tense.

But, hey. This is what we signed up for. We had our fair warning... Now here we go. 18 days.

August 2nd, 2003... Was five years ago already!?!

Time flies when you're having fun! That's what they say, anyways. Tomorrow is five years for my husband and I... I can't believe it's been that long, really. It's been just one big barrel of laughs and a non-stop party so that would explain why it's just flown by then, right? hah. Haha.

No, seriously. It has been a crazy, exciting, beautiful trip so far. Three kids, one move, six vehicles, a few different jobs, two decisions to finish school, and one (usually) smiling family. As the quote goes, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all!" Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband!!