Monday, January 7, 2013

Priorites


The first three months after Clara was born were not the easiest I have ever experienced. The poor baby cried. A lot. I tried giving up dairy, I tried swaddling, gripe water, baths, anything at all that might help her, and still I spent every evening walking the floor wondering what else I could do to comfort her. Everything I thought I might know about babies was lost, she defied it all.

Car rides were a disaster. She would scream from the second she was lowered into her car seat until we were finally able to take her out. Nights were impossible. She would sleep little tiny stretches and stay awake for hours crying in between. Sometimes, she would finally settle down just before it was time to wake up with the other kids. I even quit my job (which wasn't entirely because of her, but which was pretty much the best decision I could have made at this point in my life!) It was an entertaining time, that's for sure. Thankfully after raising four other kids the one and only thing I do proclaim to know is that nothing lasts forever. 

Well, eventually two things happened that coincided with her turning a corner. One, I brought her to the chiropractor once or twice a week for several weeks and slowly noted improvements until one day I was able to lay her down on the floor without her screaming, and then one day shortly after that we rode the entire fifteen minutes home from the chiropractor while she slept. And, two, I cut out wheat from my diet (and along with it a lot of sugar).

Now, this is not a post about why you should give up wheat, but I will say as much as pertains to this post. It has made a huge difference in my life. I'm much less anxious than I used to be, I have energy, I feel more calm than I probably ever have, and overall I just feel so much more alive. Of course, I keep going- is it really the wheat or is it just a combination of many different things? I'm not sure. But for now, it works. And I'll take it, because for months I have felt really good. And my baby is a different baby than she was in the first months of her life too. It wasn't until I ate a lot of wheat in one day, however, that I fully realized how much better we both function without it!

Anyways, because the dust is settling (literally and figuratively) I'm finding I might actually be able to get back to doing some of the other things I used to enjoy once upon a foreign time in my life. Not that I don't enjoy cuddling with my baby, but believe it or not I do have other things I would like to do as well.

Around Christmas time, I got together with some friends and one of them said something about my projects. Hah. I quit projects too. Gave them right up along with planning meals, exercising, cleaning house and doing laundry on a regular basis. Apparently with a fussy baby you realize how very minimal you can do and still go on. Just fine, I might add. But, now that she's taking a little longer naps and actually going to bed at a somewhat normal time most evenings, I think I could actually get back some... projects. Or meal plans? Or- I know, I know, this could be a bit of a stretch- workouts. All in due time.

I'm pretty sure Clara's temperament was a very good way for me to examine my life and prioritize the important things. Or to realize how very stressed out I had been feeling for quite some time. It was okay, I realized, to give up some things and not fall completely apart. And it was also all right to admit that everything was starting to feel very much like a constant battle between I need to do this and I have to do that.

Turns out, I'm not as good at balancing everything like I thought I would be, but that is fine. Balance is a tricky word. I used to be always seeking it, but more and more I realize nothing is ever going to be balanced in life. There's always a side that tips a bit to one way or another and that's what keeps it interesting. It prevents us from thinking we have nothing left to learn, keeps us trying new things and exploring different ways of solving the same puzzle.

Sometimes we just have to throw everything back in the hat and then start selecting new priorities. What worked five years ago, probably doesn't work as well now. Life changes constantly and we need to remember to give ourselves a break, sit back, take a breath... catch up. Sometime, that can be hard to see. We run on empty for so long it becomes normal. And, sometimes we just need a reminder... like a sweet little fussy baby... to remind us it's time to rearrange. And that is okay.









12 comments:

Krista said...

I could have written the first two paragraphs of this post. My baby is three months old, and I feel constantly sleep deprived and frustrated. We've been going to the chiro (his receptionist has gotten used to holding Barrett while I get adjusted because he won't sit in his seat!), but I guess it's time to try something more drastic, as much as I really, really don't want to give up wheat, I would for a happier babe. It's nice to know someone has found something that helps!

Krista said...

I could have written the first two paragraphs of this post. My baby is three months old, and I feel constantly sleep deprived and frustrated. We've been going to the chiro (his receptionist has gotten used to holding Barrett while I get adjusted because he won't sit in his seat!), but I guess it's time to try something more drastic, as much as I really, really don't want to give up wheat, I would for a happier babe. It's nice to know someone has found something that helps!

Sarah said...

Yes, it is so frustrating when nothing you try works! Hopefully things turn around for your baby soon! It's no fun when the baby is fussy. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I did not realize you were 'back' to writing...I love it! :) Reading this makes me excited to catch up during our upcoming road trip! It was great to see you last night.
Jill

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah said...

Anonymous,
Please leave your name and I would be happy to repost my answer to your comment.
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Sure, my comment wasn't meant to be snarky, so I'm happy to leave my name. I was interested in your comment about balance, and wondered if some people may have chosen the type of life in which it is very difficult to achieve balance. I am interested in sociology and parenting, which is why I am reading along. Thanks! - Lynn

Sarah said...

Ok, I guess I was just confused. As I said in my previous comment before I took it down, I don't walk around in a constant state of harmony, and no, I don't feel like my life will ever be perfectly balanced. And as I went on to say in the original post, that's what makes life Intersting. This doesn't mean I don't think a person shouldn't strive for balance, I just think I personally need to be realistic about what that means to me. Of course I want to lead a balanced life, eat a balanced diet, and aim to make the areas of my life more peaceful. But, realistically it's a journey not a certain time and place in the future. That's all I meant. Nothing fancy. :)

Things are always changing: entering and leaving our lives at different times, sometimes unexpectedly. If my life was based on having everything in balance all the time, I would be miserable.

But I'm happy. I enjoy life. And I enjoy blogging about topics that are not real controversial because I'm just a simple housewife trying to raise my family in the best way I can. And defending words that were not meant to be taken as a stance on life takes up a lot of time and energy that I don't really have. Not saying people need to like everything I write- that's fine if you find things that bother you, but just remember I blog for my kids and my family and my friends who enjoy catching up on what is going on in our lives. This was never meant to be a debate (hence the reason I stay away from highly debatable topics).

Sorry if you read my first comment and felt offended, but it is frustrating when people leave comments and don't put names. You know my name, and chances are you know who I am somehow. And really, just by leaving your name I have no idea who you are. Obviously you could just be throwing any name out there. But at least it makes me feel like I'm having a conversation with a person and not someone who wants to have an annonymous debate over my writings!

Take care. I hope you find the answers you're looking for! :)

Sarah said...

*and when I say I was confused, I just meant I was confused whether it was intended to be "snarky" or not when you didn't sign yor name... Anonymous posts are typically the ones that are the most critical! Haha!

I should also add- don't read too much into my ramblings, lol!

Anonymous said...

Sure, I can understand not wanted to be misunderstood or to not want to have your life examined closely by someone else, either. I also think it is very easy for people to misrepresent themselves, and maybe online it has become easier than ever, alas. But a means of communication can be used for good things, too. Certainly a blog is a means for many things, such as engaging people, wanting to connect with a larger audience, etc. I wish you well. Lynn

Anonymous said...

whoops.. that should be "not wanting.." rather than "not wanted." Lynn