This joke better not be on me

Disclaimer: If talk about potty training, snot, and dirty diapers makes you squeamish please read no further. If not, well then my friend, read on!

Here's a subject I would've never thought I'd openly discuss several years ago: potty training. It's right up there with the other subjects that I find so freely flowing out of my mouth possibly to the utter disgust and discomfort to those around me. Hence the disclaimer. If you're still reading, then it's your own fault now.

Hah! We're doing a test run over here this morning with Jack- he just decided he wasn't going to wear a diaper today much to my amazement. I've heard about kids doing this before. Legend has it that one morning they just wake up and decide they're going to wear undies. And just like that they're trained. I'm not, however, believing for even a second that we could get that lucky. My mind is still scarred by months of accidents that followed one first good week with the last one. And I'm wondering if I'm ready for that again.

So far no accidents... But no success either so I guess that might suggest we're treading neutral ground at the moment. The treat bag is set up, the potty chair is waiting, the funny vocabulary used to describe ordinary bodily function is being used in a high-pitched overly excited voice (by me, not him)... And the Lysol, paper towel, and carpet cleaner are lined up on the counter. Because as much as I'd like to be I'm not an optimistic potty trainer as much as I pretend to be for the trainee's sake.

I'm trying not to think of the fact that he's decided to wear undies on April fool's day. That can't be a bad sign... right?! I'm usually not superstitious like that but this is the same kid who- when it's even mildly suggested to wear undies- usually replies with a belly laugh followed by an adamant "NO undies! I wear diapers!" So you understand my skepticism then.

Oh wait. There's accident number one.

Just had to be April fools day today, didn't it?

Real love

When each of my girls turned one, they received lockets from their grandparents. More recently, Lydia has taken an interest in hers- feeling pretty special when she gets to put it on.

On Sunday she was wearing it when my sister asked her whose picture was in the locket. Lydia wasn't quite sure what to answer because (whoops) I guess she really didn't know that's what lockets were for. My sister explained that the picture would need to be taken from a distance so it would be small enough to cut out and put in the locket.

Well, this afternoon as I was rushing around between clearing the supper mess and gathering my stuff for class, she told me to stop so she could take a picture of me, then she proceeded to move across the room. You're a little far away, I pointed out. She snapped the picture and answered, There, now it will fit in my locket.

She made this tired moms day.

Part II

That same little girl that dragged me out of bed so early this morning, you know?

Well, she's now trying to see how late she can make me stay up.

She's always full of such good ideas, this one.

(I encourage you to stay tuned for part III, sure to arrive sometime between the hours of six and nine a.m. tomorrow morning.)

Good morning?

I'm trying to remain sane as my darling little thirteen month old peeks over the side of my chair, plops her thumb in her mouth and rests her head against the armrest. In other words- I'm ready for my nap now, Mom.

Where was that sweet getsture at 4:30 a.m. after I wearily trudged up the stairs to give her a bottle- imagining irrationally that this middle of the night waking thing might just have the cruel tendancy to last forever?

Or how about every fifteen minutes after that when she cried out, demanding to get out of her crib like I might somehow forget to feed her breakfast if she didn't make her awakeness known loud and clear.

Or when I finally admitted defeat and retrieved her from her crib for good- afraid she'd wake the other two- for no other reason than for her to spend some quality time pulling my hair and poking at my closed eyes while I made a false attempt to greedily snatch a few more precious minutes of sleep on the chair.

In case you haven't gathered, I'm losing ground quickly over here this morning- trying to stay afloat, consuming coffee at impressive rates, and finding my patience growing thinner as the minutes pass. I'm sure the fact that it's unnaturally dark out there for 9 a.m. has nothing do with my nagging need for sleep either.

Good morning, merry sunshine. And what kind of Wednesday morning are you having today?

M is for TODAY. (Er, uh, Monday, I mean.)

Is rearranging part of the change of seasons or what? I suddenly feel a bit claustrophobic in my living room that hasn't changed its furniture layout for nearly a year. I want to push things to the walls, free up some space in the middle of the room but I'm begining to conclude (after eight months of trying to come up with options) that I'm limited. I've got three doorways (one is double) and three windows to work with- none of which I feel like blocking off with furniture.

I'm also looking around and seeing for the first time since Januray just how many remnants of winter remain around the house. Snowflakes hanging on the wall, red berries in on top the bookcase. Oops, and on piano as well. Snowmen on the kitchen shelf. Gulp. These all must go- it's not conducive to encouraging spring along, I fear. I don't mind keeping these things around for the winter months... But we're almost into April now and even if I've been nummed by the lingering snowbanks, I can at least pretend spring is going to make a real entrance soon.

Jack just brought the kid's little computer to me claiming that the batteries are "deaden". Actually it's just the sound that seems to be gone. It's one of those things with little learning games on it and truthfully, I'm enjoying the absent sound.

I only see one slight problem. They're playing the "find the letter game" right now and since they're looking at the pictures with the letters (and no overexcited computerized monkey to tell them otherwise) I'm hearing them shout out things like, "Q is for BED!" (Uh, quilt perhaps?) and "W is for TIRE!" (Wheel?) Huh. How did we ever learn things before computers came along? I mean really. How did we know R was really for RING and not circle without that animated voice chirping at us? (Insert loud, exhasperated sigh and comment, kids these days, with an elaborate shake of the head.)

So much for all those times I thought they were so intelligent.

Oh, wait. There is some small hope. They've found paper and pencils and they're now playing school.

Have a great day.

Thanks!

Just wanted to say thanks for all of the positive comments that were left on my last post. I know I'll refer back to them when motivation is running low. It's great to hear from those of you who are or have been in similar situations.

One Day At a Time...

When I began going to school, I did so becasue my husband was working in the construction business- which inevetably meant being layed off in the winter months. Deciding I needed to be doing something during that time, I made the chioce to go back to school for nursing. I already had some credits in from clases I had taken before we were married, and rather spontaneously I signed up for classes. To make a long story incredibly short- Ryan took interest in what I was doing, did some major desicion making and decided he needed a change of careers.

As most of you know- we're soon facing the end of the school year and the completion of the practical nursing program at G*****C. In approximately six weeks, we'll be done with this part of the journey. Which also means it's time for me to finally make the decision I've been waffling over all year long, the one I've been neglecting to involve any of you in because it's been so back and forth: go back in the fall to complete the RN program (along with Ryan) or wait another year. On the kitchen counter, my acceptance letter awaits my signature, the deadline is growing near.

My biggest fear has always been: how will my kids deal with it? I am, after all, a mother first. That has, and always will come before anything else. I've dealt with my share of irrational guilt. My consolation is- they're always with family when we need to be away and they're young; they'll have little to no memory of these days. And, up until this point- my part time schedule has been rather light- very manageable. Today we got good news- news that will probably make my choice a bit easier. We learned about the schedule for the RN program and found out (besides the one day of classes each week) we would be able to be on opposite clinical schedules. Which means our kids would almost always have one of us around.

Looking around at those I know, I've seen the struggles in this economy, I know times are difficult. We've felt the burdens here at home. And to wait it out a year might make it more difficult for me to return at all. So I'm leaning toward one more year. Two more semesters with an entire summer off. I'm just trying to regroup my motivation and understand if this is the right choice for us at this point.

I know people don't quite understand how we're both going at once... But it's like anything in life: one day at a time. I had a nurse tell me, "That's cute," when she heard our story and I laughed, then got serious and said, "No it's not." It's just the way things fell into place, the way it all worked out. And it's working for us right now. Somehow. This might not have been our plan several years ago, but it's amazing how life meanders and pivots and alters our direction in ways we'd never guess. Things happen, life presents us with difficulties and joys alike, and choices are made accordingly. In fact, if someone had told me we'd be in this scenario at this point in our lives I would have responded: Impossible! Because we thought we had it figured out. In life it's important to remember: we never have it all figured out.

I just wanted to share this with you because it's such a big part of who I am. Up until now, I've kept rather quiet about the details of our schooling on this blog. For some reason, this just felt like the right time to share.

And, now you know a few minor details to our crazy life.