What's With the Name of This Blog?

It has been so long, I'm not even sure I remember what I'm supposed to do here. I mean, yeah, I get the basics. Type words, hit publish. But, yikes. It took me about five minutes just to log in. It's really been that long. I even had a momentary splash of panic once I logged in and it told me "Blog cannot be found." I thought I accidently deleted the whole thing and I started to sweat a little. But alas, it was just my poor internet connection providing some small excitement in my life once again.

Lately, for some reason, I've been thinking about keeping a blog again. Looking back over some of the posts here, I realize it was an excellent way to chronicle the daily things that I assume I'll always remember, but quickly forget as soon as it passes. I've been thinking I may change over to a new blog altogether, but I figured I'd start here. Wipe off the dust, and try to get back into this. See if I still remember how.

I tried hard to think of a new title. Sometimes, I regret the name of this blog completely. Sarah's Coffee Break?! Couldn't I have been a little more original and come up with something cute and catchy? But, alas. It still remains what I do best. Take coffee breaks, that is. As if I need proof, but yet here it is:

One of my kiddos told me today she's making a "Mom Book" for me at school. "This isn't, by any chance supposed to be a surprise, is it?" I questioned, and she nodded excitedly.

"But, mom, I'm drawing a picture of your favorite thing to do- drink coffee!" she exclaimed and yes,  I might have beamed proudly. My kids are so smart. They know me so well. Little sweethearts. Then she says, "I drew a picture of you sitting in a chair with your coffee in front of a TV." Huh. Wait, what?

"I don't really even... watch TV," I pointed out nicely. And yes, a little defensively. Partly, because it's mostly true. And partly because, really? One of these years can't someone drawing a picture of me doing something half-way productive? Like, I don't know... Going for a run with a perky smile on my face? Well, yeah, ok. So, that is a little unrealistic. So maybe, at least washing clothes or doing the dishes or making supper? You know, those other things I do all day long in between drinking coffee? 

"Well, I know," she answered, "In the picture the TV is off. I just put your chair in front of it. But the TV is off." Huh. Like I said, they know me so well. I think.

It did get me thinking, though. The part about me sitting in the chair drinking coffee, that is. Maybe I do take too many coffee breaks... Does she think all I do all day is sit around drinking coffee? Wait. What if her teacher thinks all I do all day is sit around drinking coffee? And watching TV? I'm quite certain if I was an elementary school teacher Mother's Day would be my favorite day of the year to make projects for. I mean, really. The things they must see written on those cards and in those, yikes, books. I wonder... what else she filled the book with... ah well. Pictures don't lie. And apparently my blog doesn't either. Yikes again. This ain't no resume.  

So, really. Even if the name of this blog is a little un-catchy and un-cutesy, I suppose it's more than appropriate. Just had to get that out of the way. First things first. See, getting back into this is not so hard.

Thanks for reading. (Yes, I'm aware I may be talking to myself here.)

Snow Day

So, as we're sort of getting ready to move once again, I realize I've never even blogged once during this adventure of building our house. The short version is: we started our house in June, I didn't see much of my husband all summer, we made the most of the hot days, fall arrived and school started, my husband finished his bachelors degree while the project continued at full speed, hunting season arrived and my husband (for the first time since I've known him) did not buy a liscence because he has spent every spare moment working on our house, Thanksgiving came and went, and here we are- ready to begin painting tomorrow with hopes of moving in as soon as we possibly can. The long version really isn't that much different. Really.

And, amidst it all, I am sitting here feeling so happy and blessed. Life is so full of good, even when difficulties cloud our ways, even when life gets so busy we wonder what the point of it all really is.

Then little moments happen to remind us.

 I knew the kids would have a snow day today, and I knew I didn't have time for that. With so much to be done in the upcoming weeks, so much packing and things to finish before we can move, I really found myself dreading the closing of school, when normally I welcome snow days. Well, it was a true snow day, too cold to play outside and with the littlest sick with a bad cold and the chicken pox, I felt myself getting more than a little overwhelmed.

So, I decided to bake sugar cut out cookies and let the kids frost them. When you can't beat them, join them.... Or something. So, as we're standing there rolling out the dough and cutting out the cookies my three year old is chatting away and suddenly says, "I love you, Mom." And even though I've been lucky enough to hear those words many times before they never lose their meaning and always soften my heart. So they frosted and decorated and made a large mess of the kitchen, but when I sat down
for a few minutes afterwards I found myself being so thankful for this snow day. We weren't even going to bother doing decorated cookies this year with everything else going on. After seeing how much they enjoyed it, I'm rather glad we did.

Tonight I tucked them in with all four older kids cozied up in one room because the other kid bedroom is just way too cold on nights like tonight. See, in this house the two kid rooms opened up into one, and often they would camp out in the warmer room together. When we move, a couple of the kids will get their own rooms and they will no longer all be sleeping together. I think these months have brought them closer together, and even though they think they're so ready for their own bedrooms, I have a feeling I'll find them camped out on each other's floors more than once in our new house. And that makes me smile. I'm glad they're close.

Life is good. It's always the little things that matter most. Make time for the little things and always the little ones. They are the ones who matter the most, the moments with them are the moments that go by too quickly and cannot be replaced.

And enjoy random snow days even when you don't have time for them. (Now, if tomorrow's a snow day too I could be singing a different tune...) :)

Happy Decmber, everyone! I hope you're staying warm and finding reasons to be happy and joyful this Christmas season!

Moving on out

I am really appreciating this quiet Sunday. The kids had friends over this afternoon and it was exactly what they needed. They've been a little off the wall lately, and for good reason, so it was nice to have friends here so they could stop fighting with each other for a few hours.

We are in the midst of packing up our house for a move across town at the moment. This sort of came out of the blue so we are living in a state of chaos over here... Excited chaos, but crazy too. We had intentions of putting our house for sale this spring so it shouldn't have been too much of a shock, but when a buyer became interested in our house right now, it was. We are so grateful that it sold so fast, though, however crazy it may be to pack up and move in the middle of February after nine and a half years in this house!

This move has been quite the experience for me. I have an issue with hanging on to... Stuff. Perhaps I could use it, or paint it, or turn it into something useful, you know? And actually, I have been excited over the years to find new uses for random things I've held on to. Makes me feel a bit like my dad to repurpose things and be resourceful. But a lot of the stuff I've held on to is exactly that: stuff. Stuff we don't really need, stuff that could serve someone else better, or stuff that is just ready to meet its final rest. Hah! So as I weed through our possessions, it feels really good to part with the things that are not worth the energy of moving twice. It's been a good lesson for this self-proclaimed pack-rat. Be gone with the junk!

Anyways, the boxes and cartons all over the house are starting to make everyone a little anxious. I can see it in the way the kids are behaving and I can feel it in the form of an almost continuous headache in myself. It will be a relief when we finally make the move and get somewhat settled into our temporary rental house. Then starts the other fun project: building a house... But one step at a  time. First, let's get out of this house.

This home holds a lot of memories for us. We signed the mortgage for it on our first wedding anniversary. When we bought it we were almost twenty-one, expecting our first baby, and so excited to be buying a house. It was in rough shape. Think: bright purple railings, dingy dark brown cabinets, lanolium with cigarette burns, stained carpets, horrible wall paper halfway up the living room walls... You get the picture. But we fixed it up: nothing a whole lot of paint, some new floor coverings, and some drywall couldn't fix. And we made this rough house into our home bit by bit, year by year. 

We brought our babies home from the hospital and watched them grow and walk and talk here. We put a fence around the backyard and spent many summer days back there, and lots of summer evenings around a bonfire. Our kids played house in the front porch, spent days in the sandbox making roads and cakes, colored on the window sills, and rollerbladed through the kitchen. When we ran out of room for beds, Ryan built bunks right into the wall of a bedroom and voila- space where there previously was none. And when our family expanded some more, walls came down in the living room to create more space.

When I think of leaving this house, I am excited for the opportunity it presents to us, but I know when we finally walk out of these front doors for the last time I will do so with a lump in my throat too. It's just a place on this earth, but it was our place for all these years and it's so full of memories. If these walls could talk... Good times and difficult, we've watched it all play out.

We celebrated many birthdays around the  kitchen table, watching the little ones grow as the years have passed.Tomorrow, Hannah turns five- and she is so ready. She has her frilly skirt picked out and her crown is "in her purse". She is my girly-girl, never-know-what-she's-going-to-say-next sweetheart. Does not like to sit still but is so eager for kindergarten (ooh, boy), loves her dolls (barbies, magnet dolls, American Girl, any kind) and taught herself how to braid hair recently. She counts down to Friday every week because that is when she goes to gymnastics, and she cannot get enough of it. She is such a joy.

So the next couple of weeks will be busy... Packing the final belongings and getting it out of here.  The mysterious depths of the attic proved entertaining, and finding out what's hidden in those dark corners of the basement should be interesting. Which brings up another thought... I wonder just what is buried beneath the snow in the backyard?! Oh, help.

Priorites

The first three months after Clara was born were not the easiest I have ever experienced. The poor baby cried. A lot. I tried giving up dairy, I tried swaddling, gripe water, baths, anything at all that might help her, and still I spent every evening walking the floor wondering what else I could do to comfort her. Everything I thought I might know about babies was lost, she defied it all.

Car rides were a disaster. She would scream from the second she was lowered into her car seat until we were finally able to take her out. Nights were impossible. She would sleep little tiny stretches and stay awake for hours crying in between. Sometimes, she would finally settle down just before it was time to wake up with the other kids. I even quit my job (which wasn't entirely because of her, but which was pretty much the best decision I could have made at this point in my life!) It was an entertaining time, that's for sure. Thankfully after raising four other kids the one and only thing I do proclaim to know is that nothing lasts forever. 

Well, eventually two things happened that coincided with her turning a corner. One, I brought her to the chiropractor once or twice a week for several weeks and slowly noted improvements until one day I was able to lay her down on the floor without her screaming, and then one day shortly after that we rode the entire fifteen minutes home from the chiropractor while she slept. And, two, I cut out wheat from my diet (and along with it a lot of sugar).

Now, this is not a post about why you should give up wheat, but I will say as much as pertains to this post. It has made a huge difference in my life. I'm much less anxious than I used to be, I have energy, I feel more calm than I probably ever have, and overall I just feel so much more alive. Of course, I keep going- is it really the wheat or is it just a combination of many different things? I'm not sure. But for now, it works. And I'll take it, because for months I have felt really good. And my baby is a different baby than she was in the first months of her life too. It wasn't until I ate a lot of wheat in one day, however, that I fully realized how much better we both function without it!

Anyways, because the dust is settling (literally and figuratively) I'm finding I might actually be able to get back to doing some of the other things I used to enjoy once upon a foreign time in my life. Not that I don't enjoy cuddling with my baby, but believe it or not I do have other things I would like to do as well.

Around Christmas time, I got together with some friends and one of them said something about my projects. Hah. I quit projects too. Gave them right up along with planning meals, exercising, cleaning house and doing laundry on a regular basis. Apparently with a fussy baby you realize how very minimal you can do and still go on. Just fine, I might add. But, now that she's taking a little longer naps and actually going to bed at a somewhat normal time most evenings, I think I could actually get back some... projects. Or meal plans? Or- I know, I know, this could be a bit of a stretch- workouts. All in due time.

I'm pretty sure Clara's temperament was a very good way for me to examine my life and prioritize the important things. Or to realize how very stressed out I had been feeling for quite some time. It was okay, I realized, to give up some things and not fall completely apart. And it was also all right to admit that everything was starting to feel very much like a constant battle between I need to do this and I have to do that.

Turns out, I'm not as good at balancing everything like I thought I would be, but that is fine. Balance is a tricky word. I used to be always seeking it, but more and more I realize nothing is ever going to be balanced in life. There's always a side that tips a bit to one way or another and that's what keeps it interesting. It prevents us from thinking we have nothing left to learn, keeps us trying new things and exploring different ways of solving the same puzzle.

Sometimes we just have to throw everything back in the hat and then start selecting new priorities. What worked five years ago, probably doesn't work as well now. Life changes constantly and we need to remember to give ourselves a break, sit back, take a breath... catch up. Sometime, that can be hard to see. We run on empty for so long it becomes normal. And, sometimes we just need a reminder... like a sweet little fussy baby... to remind us it's time to rearrange. And that is okay.

New Year, New Dreams

So I've been thinking long and hard about starting to blog again. Not really. But I'm sitting here reading through other blogs and past posts of mine and realizing- this was a pretty cool way to document our lives, even if the history of my ramblings have been rather sporadic. Maybe I'll start again. Maybe I'll just write all night and make up for my months of silence if I keep chomping on these chocolate covered espresso beans like I currently am.

Christmas was really nice. The kids (and I) slept in nearly every morning (except, of course, December 25th), Ryan was off of work for five days and school for two weeks, everyone stayed healthy, and the ice rink got completed. And, seriously, as I sat by the kitchen window holding Clara the first night the kids got to skate, I got overwhelmed with emotion at how truly blessed we are. Kids learning to skate on a backyard rink with their dad under the moonlight. Yup, that will do it. A perfect moment.

Admittedly after such a decent break from school, I was kind of disappointed they had to go back the day after New Year's Day. I'm actually being serious here. They're growing up. Too fast. I appreciate their humor, their thoughts, their presence around the house in the middle of the day. Yes, I also appreciate the somewhat quieter atmosphere that results when school is back in session too, but if all we ever had were the moments when we are all here in this place together that would be enough. Possessions get lost, broken, neglected and worn out. Family, though? Family weathers storms, helps each other up, defends, protects, accepts, loves, and grows together to form a beautiful strong weaving of memories, traditions, and time.

I tend to get a little reflective at the end of an old year and optimistic as the new one begins. There is something so exciting and beautiful about beginnings. Life is full of tragedy and pain, loss and heartbreak. But we all know it's also filled with amazing beauty, perfect moments, happiness and dreams. It's a package deal, this life. We get it all.

Whew. Didn't quite intend for this post to get so sentimental, but it's a reflection of the way I've been feeling lately. Lucky. Blessed. Happy. This life is good.

I am looking forward to this year. I am excited about the possibilities that lie ahead of me right now. It's a good time to initiate new dreams and build upon past hopes.

Meanwhile, it's 11:10 and the exhaustion I felt while the kids were still awake has eluded me now. Ah, the miseries of a night owl- I'm sure I could fall asleep in minutes if I went to bed... But then I would miss out on all this free quiet time.

This week marks the first days of a new school year and I'm sending off a first and second grader this year. So far they've been eager to go in the mornings and they return with smiles in the afternoon. Hoping that continues.

I'm enjoying quieter days at home with the other three. Miss Clara is already 5 weeks old already. I was telling my sister it seems with all the sleepless nights this baby and I have shared, this past month might have crawled by, yet it feels like we were just bringing her home last week! She is a sweetheart, even if she likes to have our bonding moments at 1 a.m. And 2. And 3. And 4... Sometimes I really question why we try to sleep at all.

This summer was a blur. We camped one weekend, spent a few nights (and many Sundays) at my parents camp, swam in the pool in the backyard, and tried to make the most of the hot weather. I spent most of June (and some of July) with my feet up due to an injury. July was a constant battle of the heat for my 8 months pregnant body. It was great fun. I have never been so thankful for our little window unit air conditioner. At least the downstairs remained relatively cool in spite of the hot stretch of weather we had.

And then at the beginning of August, one day after our 9th wedding anniversary, baby number 5 made her entrance into this world. I am smitten with love once again at another of God's perfect creations. There is nothing more important happening in my life that can't wait until I'm done holding the baby. The other kids are in love with her as well. Always wanting to hold her, amazed by her little festures, her yawns, her cries... Everything about her is amazing to them.

One day when Clara was lying on her blanket on the floor and her captivated audience was surrounding her, I thought, "This is what it means when they say love multiplies with each baby." It's true. Not only does this baby have the love of her father and I, she's absolutely surrounded by love from each of her siblings. For those who think they don't have enough love for more than one or two... You do. It's all right there. Each baby is just as special, every bit as much of a perfect gift from God as the one before.

So now that summer is slipping away, and fall is upon us, I'm ready for the change. Cooler days, the rocking chair, a good book, a cup of coffee , a cuddly baby... I can see many days being spent in this simplicity.

For anyone who might possibly be reading this after my longest blogging break ever... I hope your  summer was a good one and that you too are embracing fall with some quieter moments, maybe some  fun projects, walks outside in the cooler temps, or whatever it is that you enjoy doing during this colorful season. And perhaps I'll be back around here a little more often!

What month is this???

Because it needs to be documented, on March 19, we...

• Set up the trampoline
• Hung loads of sheets and blankets on the line
• Got a slight sunburn
• Hauled out the bikes
• Took a little walk while the kids peddled those bikes
• Ate frozen juice pops in the shade to cool off
• Left the windows open all day to get the drab winter air out of the house
• Wore flip-flops, shorts, and t-shirts
• Began turning over the ground in the garden
• Enjoyed every single moment of this summer day in March

Even if (or when) the snow falls again, I am so thankful for this thaw we've been experiencing for the past few days. It's like a spring vacation without having to leave home! Over the weekend we spent nearly every daylight hour outside, soaking up the sun, enjoying these days for what they are. It is so refreshing to look outside and not see massive snowbanks everywhere. Every spring when the snow begins to melt it's such a good feeling to know warmer days are ahead.

Temperatures are supposed to begin to drop into a more normal range for our area toward the middle to end of the week. But, oh did we enjoy this little taste of summer in the middle of March!

The little years

As I sit here this evening, I am listening to the quiet sounds coming from my seven year old's room. She's having a sleepover as there's no school tomorrow for mid-winter break. I remember those days- having a sleepover on what would normally be a school night- so exciting.

With no alarm to set, technically we could all sleep in tomorrow morning, but I know my two year old better than that. She's real good about making sure I don't sleep past six. She seems to have made it her personal mission to see that I'm up long before I need to be seven mornings a week. She also feels the pressing need to check in with me around 2 or 3 or 4 a.m. on most nights. And as I trudge wearily to her room to find the 'pluggy' that's been lost under the covers or under the crib I try to remind myself, this too shall pass.

I read a book last week that was full of all sorts of good reminders for moms of little ones. It was called Loving the Little Years, written by Rachel Jancovic. It was not a long book, but it was packed with many insightful ways of keeping sanity while raising little kids. One of the best things I took from her book was this obvious but helpful reminder: this current little crisis will be over in twenty minutes.

And when I think of it, so much of the difficulties with little ones are short lived. Someone can't find their library books, another one is crying for juice, the other two are fighting because one looked at the other the wrong way... It goes on and on. Or the two year old who should be sleeping through the night and rid of her pluggy is still waking up for a three a.m. reassurance that it's okay to go back to sleep. So much of what mothers of little children deal with daily are relatively little problems. In and over before much time has passed at all. Still, consciously looking at the clock during those crazy moments and making that mental note that in twenty minutes time this little dilemma will pass is such a good reminder for me that this is not going to last forever.

These little years pass so quickly, and the daily problems we deal with right now are so relatively small and easily forgotten. I am reminded all the time to be thankful. Of course, very real problems can develop at any age and none of us really know what anyone else is dealing with, but I'm learning to seek that bright side as much as possible. Life does not come with a guarantee and we all must face our share of trials along the way, but seeking out the good, making a point to remember what we do have is so great.

So many people have told me, the hardest years are those when all your kids are little. Admittedly whenever I would hear those words I would cringe at first because when all of my kids were under the age of five I truly felt like some of the hardest moments would last forever. But even now, with my oldest only seven, I see a difference. The older two can be responsible for helping out with jobs around the house and with the younger ones, which makes things so much easier. I already see that change. Yes, they are still little, but already I catch glimpses of that moment when I'm not as needed anymore. Which, as parents should be our ultimate goal- to raise them into caring, honest, responsible adults that can manage their own lives. It's an interesting process to watch, one that leaves me with a whole host of differing emotions, but important all the same. And the thing is- it happens so fast. One moment you're spooning oatmeal into their baby mouths- cringing as it flies back out all over the everything in a five foot radius- and the next they're hauling their dirty dishes to the sink and asking for a sleepover. It's natural, it's life, but it all happens so fast.

As my kids have grown, it has become easier to see that babies crying in the middle of the night and milk spilled all over the table don't last forever. When I finally realized that children won't always dump everything out of the toy box just to see it crash on the floor, and that at some age painting the bathroom with toothpaste loses it's appeal, it was suddenly easier to deal with the little ones that still find these activities fascinating. Not that it makes cleaning up a box full of cheerios spilled across the kitchen floor a picnic, but it's the realization that these things are just what they are: momentary mishaps. And before long, it will be over and dealt with.

So once again tonight, as I try to do every night when the little one calls out for me at three in the morning, I'll plod down the hallway in my sleepy stupor and tell myself, this too shall pass. Before I know it, she will be the one having a sleepover on her bedroom floor and won't be crying for me in the middle of the night. And by then, my oldest will almost be a teenager. So, I am holding on to these little years with all their little difficulties- and my little kids- and knowing the most important job I can do right now is to just love them and raise them with patience.

Out with the old...

I'm on an organization quest. Overhauling my cluttered house. Looking at spaces that have been harboring the same things practically since we moved in and clearing them out. Oooh, does it feel good! Today I started with our bedroom- completely cleaned out the closet, bagged up a pile of clothes that have been taking up precious space, went through dressers, emptied the trunk full of things that haven't been worn in an embarrassing amount of years, and dusted corners that hadn't seen daylight for way too long. By the time I finished, I had removed a full bag of garbage and two bags of clothes. In fact, was able to empty an entire four shelf cabinet and happily moved it out of our room and into a much better utilized space in my craft room. More storage in there, less floor space taken up in my bedroom.

After that, I stared at my rather boring walls that just never quite got decorated very well because- after all it's just a bedroom. Who sees those walls? So I rounded up a few things I've had hanging around and started pounding nails. When it was completely finished I realized I no longer had the urge to paint the walls in there as much as I did before and the whole space looked rather calming. The way a bedroom ideally should be. It doesn't take much to make a place feel softer and more pleasing to the eye!

And, oh, did that clean, decluttered, and redecorated room inspire me to keep going! After dinner the kids and I went through their bedrooms (although not as well as I could have without their watchful eyes checking out everything I tried to sneak in the get-rid-of-bag). They were excited to have clean rooms again and I was happy I'll be able to walk across the room in the dark morning to wake them without the fear of twisting an ankle or stepping on random legos. I'll just have to do a little more tossing when they're not around and it will be good.

The point is- after nearly nine years of marriage, eight years in this house, and four kids, we have accumulated altogether too much stuff. It's ridiculous, really. We need to simplify. Let some air into our lives and give us some nice spaces to breathe. Clutter gets to me, makes my skin crawl. Really, it gets to all of us, kids included. I'm not a person that keeps a neat and tidy house (although sometimes I really wish I was), I don't mind the messes that children make when they are playing or doing projects, I love a good blanket fort spread across the chairs in the living room, and I don't even care about play-doh all over the kitchen floor if it's keeping them happy. But I do get really fed up with clutter. The piles of stuff that get transferred from this surface to that because none of it really has a place.

So, I've been pouring over pinterest, searching for creative storage ideas. For so long I've fallen back on the excuse that because we have very limited closet and cupboard space in this house, it's impossible to have much organization. But I'm finding some creative and fun ways around that. It's actually a little addicting to come up with new ways of rearranging little spaces so everything fits and flows better. I'm ready to keep right on moving tomorrow!

As time moves on

Looking back at the time that has passed since I last posted in, um, November... I'm realizing I never actually decided to quit blogging. It just sort of fell off my radar for awhile. I am pretty certain there are no readers left out there- I think that tends to happen when you never update. However, on the rare chance that someone besides my mom is still checking this blog faithfully, here I am. Dusting off the cobwebs, trying to refresh this space. 


So what has been going on in our house during the past few months? Well...

• We celebrated three birthdays for the three girls- L is now 7, A turned 2, and H turned 4. 
• Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years all came and went. Enjoyed time with family- visiting, laughing, just being together.
• Winter hasn't really bothered me. Yet. Oh, sure there's plenty of snow on the ground but it's been so tolerable- decent temps, sun, and not a whole lot of new accumulation in the past month.
• My husband and I escaped to the Caribbean on a cruise a month ago with some old friends and new friends, and had a fabulous time. 
• The kids, as it turns out, probably didn't miss us nearly as much as we missed them. 
• The three oldest have enjoyed playing outside a lot- even if the ice rink never quite came to life this winter. They build forts and snowmen and go sledding down our tiny hill a lot.
• The 100th day of school was celebrated. The kindergartner brought in 100 cheerios and wore his pajamas to school. 
• The littlest one of the crowd has been making an attempt at potty training. I'm hopeful. 
• My husband started a new shift in a new department working different hours. After nearly two years of afternoon shift, we're all breathing a sigh of relief and happy to have him around more in the evenings plus an extra weekend every month!
• The first grader is reading like crazy. I'm loving watching her as I'm a reader myself and books have always been a big part of my life. 
• The "baby" of the house has been testing her limits... Seeing what she can get away with on a daily basis, learning the art of teasing her older siblings, and making us laugh all the time. 
• The boy in the house has really gotten into hockey this winter. Our kitchen table is constantly pushed to the wall, the benches turned over for nets and hockey puck is flying across the floor while the fans (his little sisters) sit up on the kitchen table with their bundled up babies and cheer. 
• Our four year old has been keeping us on our toes. Everyday she's got a million questions and observations and is ready to go somewhere... Wal-mart? Library? Grandma's? Doesn't matter where it is as long as we're going and she's along for the ride. She loves to shop- packs up her purse and spends her quarters on bubblegum. 
•  And me? I've been doing lots of reading this winter, cozy mornings with the little girls and a cup of coffee.... Mmm, that is the good life. 

And that, in the briefest form, is our life these days. Hope this winter is treating you well and you are taking moments to do what you love!

It's on it's way...

Oh, yes I did! Pulled the first you better be good because Santa's makin' his list warning. And provided a refresher course for the younger crowd that needed some reminding about the whole naughty versus nice thing equaling presents or not. And you thought I was going to talk about my month and  half blog break. Yah.

It was only fitting, though (the Santa thing), as I pulled out winter gear this evening in anticipation for our supposed first snow of the year. Apparently boots are in high demand over here this year. I keep hoping I'm going to pull out one last bin of winter stuff and miraculously the sizes I need are going to appear. But, no. Oh well. Squish the toes in, kiddos, you will survive for now! If we get the snow that's coming that is. I'm always skeptical until the first snowflakes actually fly.

Actually I won't mind some snow. I never mind it this time of year. I've been listening to Christmas music for over a month now, so it's really only fitting to have some white stuff to accompany it. Plus, maaaaaybe it will get me moving to work on some Christmas sewing projects that I've been thinking about. Maybe this will be the year I actually sew some stockings for the kids. Hah. I say that every year. But I've got a really good feeling about this one. (I say that too).

Anyways, while I was at it, I issued out another warning tonight: Any Halloween candy left out tonight is gone. The all week sugar buzz has gotten out of control by about five days. For them and me. Last Tuesday I offered to buy their candy bags from them just to clear the stuff out, but no one took me up on my offer. Until about, Saturday, when Hannah (who was nearing the bottom of hers) decided she was just about ready to sell hers. Should have still taken her up on it because somehow she dragged it out till today. And a couple of my kids? Well, how about we say they don't handle sugar too well. Like me. I get real ugly when I get too much of that poison! Be gone with it! Enough is enough!

I'm living on the edge tonight- staying up so late and all. Since the time change I seem to have (temporarily of course) lost my ability to stay up past 10:30. Not that I should have any good reason to stay up past 10:30 when I'm up at 6:30, but, eh. House is just so blissfully quiet this time of night. Hate to waste it. I'm not the only one that needs to adjust to the time change either. My kids still go to bed at 7-ish but now instead of waking at 7-ish they've made 6 a.m. the new 7. Yay. Thrilled about them running around the house a whole hour before they really need to be waking. But such is life.

So really though. Now that you've lived through all the excitement of this long overdue blog post I guess I'll call it a night. Maybe you'll see from me again before December? Or maybe I'll be too busy blasting the Christmas tunes, whipping my house in order, and sewing all those stockings. Hah.

Baby Pics

Recently it was discovered that no baby pictures of our third child, Hannah, exist in the photo albums at this house. Apparently, as she flipped quickly through the pages of every single album on the shelf she came to this disheartening discovery.

"Is this me?" she would ask at nearly every single picture of a chubby smiling baby- in the bathtub, cozied up in a blanket, riding in a stroller.

 "Uh, no..." I would answer each time, inwardly wondering where on earth the album of her baby pictures would have disappeared to. Well, as it turns out any pictures of Hannah between birth and approximately 2 years (when her little baby sister came into the scene) were still sitting in their Snapfish envelopes. Which wouldn't be so bad, really, if Adalie (her baby sis) didn't have a half an album to herself. Um. Oops.

Well, sadly, I still didn't rush to put the pictures in an album for her, but I did show her one of the envelopes and we went through them a few times till I cleaned up in a hurry one day (story of my life) and stashed them... somewhere. I know they can't be too far. Really. Just not precisely sure of their exact location a the current moment.

So that brings us to yesterday afternoon right before dinner when she was telling Jack about her baby pictures:

Hannah: Want to see my baby pictures?
Jack: I don't care.
Hannah: Mom, where are those pictures gone? When I was just a little tiny baby?
Me: Uh... Not sure right now, Hannah. But right now I'm in the middle of making supper- I'll look for them after.
Jack (completely serious): Maybe they really just didn't take any pictures of you, Hannah.

What do they call this sort of thing? Middle child syndrome? I've heard my sister mention it a time or two. But I promise- I will get those pictures put in albums. Just as soon as they are relocated. 

Other than that- I am loving fall. Love walking to the bus stop in the morning with the kids, feeling the cool crisp air, coming home to enjoy breakfast and a cup or two of coffee with my husband. Going for rides in the morning with my husband and the little girls, feeling the inspiration to get into some projects, pulling out my knitting bag, drinking Pumpkin Spice tea, reading... Good time of year for a homebody like me.

I'm working on getting my sewing room back into some sort of order too. Did I mention I moved my sewing stuff from the kitchen table up to what was always supposed to be my craft room? And I don't really know if I like it. Maybe if my sewing table wasn't continuously buried under stacks and stacks of folded laundry I could actually form a real opinion of the space. I just kind of liked sewing at the kitchen table, despite the mess it made. So, we'll see if I remain in the craft/storage/laundry/everything-else-that-has-no-place-to-go-room or return to the kitchen.

And now, the littlest one is awake. She's been out of sorts all week and had a mild fever all day today. Thinking some more teeth are on the way. Gotta go give her some hugs.

Never a dull moment

Can I go back to sleep yet? Seriously? You know those days when nothing real exciting happens, everything is just the same-old, same-old... kind of mundane? Well, I am most definitely not experiencing one of those type days. Just in case you were worried, or something. But if you are- enjoy it- and read on.

This morning my husband & I decided to take a ride out to our property. So, we drove out, enjoyed a walk, let the girls run up and down the road, enjoyed the quiet of a peaceful morning out in the woods. Then, after a bit, the babes started to get crabby and we decided it was time to head home for lunch. Except the vehicle wouldn't start. So there we are, out in the woods, no stroller, minimal to zero cell phone service, contemplating our next move. The cell phone service out there is so spotty it's usually non-existent. But walking to town was pretty much out of the question as we would obviously have to carry the girls and all I had was one backpack. Well, after some more failed attempts to start the Yukon, I located a spot that had sketchy service and was somehow able to get through to my parents who drove out to pick us up. Not that big of a deal.

Well, just as we get home Ryan decides to take his truck back out there to see if the Yukon just needs some gas. Meanwhile, the girls are making it known that they are starving and so I put a pot of water boiling on the stove for some noodles. I am very careful to put it on the back burner in the corner, away from any possibility of the girls pulling it on themselves. And even though I know better than to leave water boiling on the stove, I dash up stairs to put the wash going, figuring I'll be back down before the water even starts to get hot. I'm gone all of maybe three minutes.

But as I come down the stairs I smell smoke. And as I start to run I see black smoke covering the kitchen ceiling, curling into the living room where the girls are watching, too scared to move. Apparently it might have helped if I had turned on the right burner and not the one on top of which sat two oven mits, now engulfed in flames.

Long story short, with the girls safe outside, I smoldered the fire which could have been much, much worse than it was and, yes, I learned some serious lessons. Especially that- once you think you have the fire out you better be sure. After I smothered the fire, I had to get outside to get some air. Well, apparently when I smothered the oven mits, a hot coal had jumped to the floor and, unbeknown to me, was inside smoldering next to a cardboard box that was not discovered until Ryan came home a few minutes later. Arrrgh. Again- the potential to be much worse could no be understated.

So I'm done. I am tempted to sit in this chair for the remainder of the day. Except of course, the walls and cupboards need to be washed down. There's still a lingering smoke smell that I hope we can eradicate with some serious cleaning. Good thing I didn't wash walls yesterday like I had hoped!

Oh, and while all that was occurring? The vehicle was towed to the shop where they determined it needs a new fuel pump. Woo-hoo. There goes the new freezer idea. Oh well.

Anyways. My three year old keeps asking why I started a fire and she won't let me out of her sight. I've officially made her paranoid of the kitchen as well. But, all's well that ends well. We're all safe, our house is still standing. And here I sit, feet up drinking the caramel macchiato that my sweet husband just brought me from the coffee shop- his very good attempt to calm me down. No more excitement today, please I think I had my share, thank-you-very-much!

Good Day

Whew. First day down and both are okay with the idea of heading back to school tomorrow. That's always a bonus. I asked them both, "How was your day?" and from one I got an answer that lasted for the next two hours, and from the other I got a return question, "What's Dad doing with those windows in the back of his truck?" Bet you can't guess which was which, huh?

The sweet and sassy three year old sprouted a new attitude today. Apparently kid 1 and kid 2 were getting a bit too much attention with this whole back-to-school-business. She soaked up the attention of her dad and I while the older two were away... but when they both returned, she found lots of little ways to hold her ground.

It's always a good feeling to get this first day over and done with. It's an even better feeling to get the whole first week under wraps so I can quit feeling like I spend half the day waiting for one bus or another. Since I didn't know what time to expect either kid to return, when I assumed they should be arriving, I walked to the bus stop and I waited... and waited... and waited. Good thing it was a beautiful day to be outside.

True confession. I make the kids take hot lunch at least a couple of times during the first days of school, even if I like packing their lunches (partly because I can monitor what they're eating and partly because it just feels like the right thing- my own mother packed mine daily for 13 years. I know. Spoiled. Different story.) Anyways, I don't want them to be afraid of it later on so they always have that option. We won't even go back to my childhood on this one, folks. We'll just leave it at that. Anyways. I convinced them both to take hot lunch tomorrow, so day 2 and I'm already slacking.

So, I'm ready to get some flack on this one... but I absolutely love fall. Don't worry, I've lived here long enough and I know what comes next- long, cold, dark winters- but I love just enjoying fall for what it is. The cooler weather the past couple of days has been so refreshing! I'm on a kick to get all sorts of things done around here in the upcoming weeks. Helps that I'm easing back down to my whopping one day a week work week, too. I look around this house and see all the cleaning and projects just waiting to be tackled. Today J looked behind the chair in the living room and said enthusiastically, "Hey, Mom! Did you know we have a big spider web back here?" Um, oops. Cool.

What's not cool is the fact that it's already after 11 and my earlier mornings are going to take some getting used to. And getting to bed earlier than I'm used to. So I'm off. Here's to hoping day 2 goes as well as day 1.

Ready or not...

I'm thinking next week is going to produce some interesting scenarios around this house, as the school year rolls into gear. The earlier bedtime, for example, is sure to be met with a great amount of complaints, whining, and all around defiance. The earlier rising time, is going to be complete torture. The run, er... walk to the bus stop at a time of day when we're usually all still tucked in bed... the first days, the tears, the excitement... And that's just talking about me. Them? Not so concerned. They go to bed fairly well. They wake much too early for summer vacation, so I don't foresee too much difficulty in that arena. And they're both quite ready and excited to go.

But, oh, do I get anxious this time of year. (Well, okay, to be fair- I got anxious about last school year and I'm anxious again this year, this is only the second time I've done this first-day-of-school thing as a mom. Be patient with me.) Really, I know they will be fine, but as my head hits the pillow at night, my mind starts to whirl. I think of everything I should tell them, knowing I will have let them learn most of for themselves. I think of how much they have to learn, and I wonder if I could ever do it again. I'm pretty sure I could not do it all over again- and that's why it's so good we know not what lies ahead, but only what's in this moment. I think of disappointments that are sure to happen, but at the same time, all the happy times they will have.

I think of how brave they have to be, and how brave I'll have to pretend to be.

Each morning as the links on the countdown chain disappear, I see their excitement increasing and I know they won't always be this ready to begin school. And so, in all my worried-anxious-excited-nervous-over-emotional ways, I do the only thing I can- appreciate the moment. I let my heart skip a beat here and there as I think of the ups and downs and struggles life brings, and all that they must go through. But right now all I can do is give them hugs, remind them how I love them, and then watch them go- off to make their own discoveries, their own friends, their own happiness.

But, that's not to say I'm not going to shed any tears watching. There will be plenty of those as the school bus drives away, but I'm so glad there will be two little girls to cuddle with me while the big kids are gone- we just all might need a few extra hugs those first days back.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

...And we managed to keep it a secret too, too, too. From the kiddos, that is. I think after nearly seven years of parenting we have finally mastered- this one time- a vital lesson that makes life so much, much, more pleasant. In other words, we didn't tell the kids one second in advance where we are going or what we're doing tomorrow. Usually I'm so excited about an out-of-the-ordinary-outing, I can't keep it a secret so I end up blabbing it to the kids. And then I regret it for days. Sometimes weeks. Depends on how far in advance I spill the can of worms. I'm really good with secrets.

But not this time. Not one time this week did I have to hear, When are we going to the zoo, Mom? But WHEN? Can we go after supper, Mom? Can we go right now? Why can't we? Where's the zoo? How long does it take to get to the zoo? What's at the zoo? Is there monkeys at the zoo? Is there hippos at the zoo? Is there zebras at the zoo? When are we going? I WANNA GO RIGHT. NOW!

I could say it's been peaceful, but for some unknown reason the three year old has taken to asking when Christmas is coming instead. Which, in hindsight, after listening to her ask Is it Christmas tomorrow, Mom? and several other variations of that question approximately 157 times a day for the past week was actually more annoying than listening to them ask about the upcoming trip to the zoo. So if you look at it that way, my well-intended secret keeping actually backfired because instead I'm quite bothered by the fact that my kids can even think of Christmas while I'm trying to hang onto what's left of summer. This time I probably should have let her know about the zoo. It might have taken her mind off the whole Christmas topic for a few days, anyways.

There's sure to be some disappointment with the lack of giraffes- it was a bit of a letdown to the six year old last time we visited a giraffe-less zoo. Don't get me wrong, she loved the rest of the animals, but she's fascinated with giraffes and she really hoped next time we would see them. Turns out the zoo that has giraffes is actually two hours further away than the zoo we'll be visiting. A day trip, four kids, a bunch of animals... Not that difficult of a decision for us to make. But six year olds don't quite understand when you try to reason with them about gas prices and the whole sanity factor of being in a car for 9 hours in one day.

So, I might have to play dumb- Oh... There are no giraffes here? Well, look! Another MONKEY! How cool is that?! Plus, I heard they throw live rabbits in to the tigers at feeding time, so if that doesn't make her forget everything about giraffes, I'm not sure anything will. I know I plan to be scarred for life. (Hey. I used to cry when my brothers crushed milk cartons, remember? Throwing live rabbits in for the tigers just slightly surpasses that line.)

Oh well. I think I'll avoid that particular scene. So, off we go. And everyone will be happy and content and satisfied after a fun-filled day at the zoo. And they will all sleep the entire ride home because they will be so worn out. And... Okay. Enough is enough. Let's just hope we come home with the right monkeys. Should be eventful.

Waiting on the Falling Stars

Well. I am pretty certain that was the longest break in the history of this blog! I could say it's because we've just been having way too much fun enjoying summer and my absence from this space had everything to do with the fact that I've been sitting with my toes in the lake, soaking up the sun, and relaxing with all the books that are on my list to read... But then... Well, actually... let's just stick with that fantasy, shall we? It beats the real truth by a long stretch.

No really. It's not that bad. We have spent time enjoying the lake and the sunshine, I've just been a little busier than I would like with work so it's put a little twist into our weeks, but it's, uh, it's good. It's temporary. Any week now I should be back to my regular schedule... Or so I keep telling myself. Hah.

My kids are currently struggling to stay awake to see if they can spot some shooting stars tonight. H is doing the head-bob on the couch willing her eyes to stay open. Pretty sure she's going to miss out on this one. I'm also pretty sure they're expecting explosions of stars flying across the sky- L looked a little disappointed when I assured her they would have to watch very carefully to possibly spot a few. They keep questioning when the shooting stars are "starting". Hope them stars deliver.

After running to the camp the past couple of days, I didn't mind spending the day at home today doing the weekly catch-up. Laundry, floors, quick scrub through the bathrooms and wah-lah. Good to go for another week. I've never had high standards, but they're hitting an all time low this summer. Good enough for me, this season is too short!

My mom and I picked raspberries this morning. I've never picked raspberries before,so I was excited to stash them in the freezer, but now I want more. Oooh, are they good! I think I'll try to go again early next week before their season is over. And hopefully, with some luck, one of these days I'll turn them- and some strawberries- into jam. Missing my strawberry jam in a bad way.

And look at that- it's dark out. Time to go scope out those meteor showers!

July

And, Hello, July!

I'm enjoying a quiet morning here before the house gets too warm and stuffy (it's quickly approaching that point) and before the the first weekend in July moves fully into swing. Two of my kids spent the night at the camp with cousins- much to their delight, one is attempting a nap as she was kind of on the cranky side since the moment she got out of the crib this morning, and the other is wandering around, bored as can be, with her pink hello kitty bag asking over and over and over again when we are going to the camp.

This summer is picking up pace as the days go by. In early June we took the time to enjoy being outside- even if he weather wasn't always perfect. We pulled weeds from gardens, planted seeds, roasted marshmallows over bonfires in the backyard, and enjoyed those first fleeting days of summer- knowing how quickly the season tends to take off and leave us wondering why we never got to do half of the things we wanted to.

The second half of June passed in little more than a blink. We said good-bye to a dear uncle, one who touched so many of our lives. And we were reminded how faith and family remain the most important pieces of our lives. Without our faith, we are lost.   

This week, we've been spending time close to family, not staying in the house for more time than it takes to fill the sink full of dishes and throw another load of laundry through the wash. We've been to and from the camp many times this week- visiting, getting eaten alive by the bugs, and then ultimately enjoying the view of the big lake from the front porch over cups of coffee and great company.

And through all of the busy- run here, run there, don't forget the swimsuits and remember the juice cup for the baby- packing & unpacking to do it all over again the next day I am reminding myself to take the time to just appreciate moments. Continuing to take time when I can for reading, journaling, quiet moments snatched up after the kids are in bed or before they're awake.

I hope for you, you are finding gentle moments to appreciate summer and all the beauty it offers. And that you have a fantastic fourth of July weekend- whether it finds you camping with friends or spending time in your own backyard- enjoy!

So, we broke down and ordered up a trampoline a few days ago because we were feeling like our postage-stamp-sized backyard was feeling a little too roomy. Between the sandbox and the clothesline and the swing set... and the faded array of random sand toys that never actually stay in the sandbox we figured we should probably really cover up a little more of our very minimal square footage back there. And, now I can just wedge my lawn chair between the back steps and the clothesline, right behind the storage barn, and listen to my always cheerful and giggling children as they are provided with endless opportune hours of fun while I sip my coffee and blissfully read my book. Whhhhaaaaaaaaaatt?   

Speaking of backyard additions- our neighbor just finished constructing an eight foot wall on the side of their deck that faces our backyard. Apparently after 7 years they finally came to the conclusion that A) we are not going anywhere anytime real soon, B) our yard (and the dirty-faced children running around it screaming at the tops of their lungs) really puts a crimp in their summer entertaining style, C) our five foot tall fence really does not hide the mess from their view (and here I so very naively thought it did...) and D) no, we're probably never going to update the exterior of our home or our windows, nor will we ever actually get around to doing any sort of landscaping- much less mowing the lawn in a timely fashion.

Actually, I was amazed it took them so long to come up with that convenient solution. Let their summer grilling season begin! I do hate to inform though- unless they've come up with a solution to drown out the sound, no matter how high you build that wall you'll never block out noise coming out of our yard on a daily basis. The added bonus for me was- now I have no clue when they're out their sitting on their deck so I can stress a lot less. Before I used to at least try to keep the monkeys resembling human beings when I knew the neighbor's were sitting twenty feet away, but now I'll never know if they are there. Perfect.

Oh well. With some hope and if it is meant to be, someday we will be out of this house and this neighborhood. If not... well then, the other neighbors just might follow the wall-builder's lead. I give them a year to catch on. Hah. Just wait till I park the trampoline in the one corner of the yard their wall won't completely hide...now, won't that just throw them for a loop...

No, I didn't finish my dress...

So, apparently what I get for mentioning that I was thinking about making dresses was having to answer to the several people who asked about it. Um, oops. It was zooming along just fine- I was all excited because I've never sewn a dress for myself before- and then I ran into some, uh, issues. I was having difficulty lining things up in the back and I got really frustrated and I put it away and decided to take it back out when the danger of me destroying the whole thing had lifted. And that didn't happen any time last week. But I do want to finish it... Really.

Oh well. You should know be by now.

The wedding Saturday was so beautiful and the whole weekend was a lot of fun. Like always time passed in a blink, but while it was here, we enjoyed it. Being together with family makes me look forward to summer days ahead at the camp. Soon, I hope.

But before that, I have something else to look forward to. This weekend two of my bestest and I are making an escape to do some garage saling... A whole weekend of no kids, no husbands, no responsibility. Part of the fun is in the anticipation, I know, so I will be happily anticipating our getaway all week!

Eep. Just realized I should be planning a real supper tonight since my husband will be home. He's doing night shift all week which is weird because I'm so programmed for him to be gone in the afternoons. I don't switch gears very fast. Then again, I have to give a massage this afternoon so maybe I should leave the supper-making to him. He does a better job of that anyways. I'll just pretend I forgot.