coffee break

It's on it's way...

2011-11-08T23:25:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes I did! Pulled the first you better be good because Santa's makin' his list warning. And provided a refresher course for the younger crowd that needed some reminding about the whole naughty versus nice thing equaling presents or not. And you thought I was going to talk about my month and half blog break. Yah.

It was only fitting, though (the Santa thing), as I pulled out winter gear this evening in anticipation for our supposed first snow of the year. Apparently boots are in high demand over here this year. I keep hoping I'm going to pull out one last bin of winter stuff and miraculously the sizes I need are going to appear. But, no. Oh well. Squish the toes in, kiddos, you will survive for now! If we get the snow that's coming that is. I'm always skeptical until the first snowflakes actually fly.

Actually I won't mind some snow. I never mind it this time of year. I've been listening to Christmas music for over a month now, so it's really only fitting to have some white stuff to accompany it. Plus, maaaaaybe it will get me moving to work on some Christmas sewing projects that I've been thinking about. Maybe this will be the year I actually sew some stockings for the kids. Hah. I say that every year. But I've got a really good feeling about this one. (I say that too).

Anyways, while I was at it, I issued out another warning tonight: Any Halloween candy left out tonight is gone. The all week sugar buzz has gotten out of control by about five days. For them and me. Last Tuesday I offered to buy their candy bags from them just to clear the stuff out, but no one took me up on my offer. Until about, Saturday, when Hannah (who was nearing the bottom of hers) decided she was just about ready to sell hers. Should have still taken her up on it because somehow she dragged it out till today. And a couple of my kids? Well, how about we say they don't handle sugar too well. Like me. I get real ugly when I get too much of that poison! Be gone with it! Enough is enough!

I'm living on the edge tonight- staying up so late and all. Since the time change I seem to have (temporarily of course) lost my ability to stay up past 10:30. Not that I should have any good reason to stay up past 10:30 when I'm up at 6:30, but, eh. House is just so blissfully quiet this time of night. Hate to waste it. I'm not the only one that needs to adjust to the time change either. My kids still go to bed at 7-ish but now instead of waking at 7-ish they've made 6 a.m. the new 7. Yay. Thrilled about them running around the house a whole hour before they really need to be waking. But such is life.

So really though. Now that you've lived through all the excitement of this long overdue blog post I guess I'll call it a night. Maybe you'll see from me again before December? Or maybe I'll be too busy blasting the Christmas tunes, whipping my house in order, and sewing all those stockings. Hah.

Baby Pics

2011-09-24T22:38:00.001-04:00

Recently it was discovered that no baby pictures of our third child, Hannah, exist in the photo albums at this house. Apparently, as she flipped quickly through the pages of every single album on the shelf she came to this disheartening discovery.

"Is this me?" she would ask at nearly every single picture of a chubby smiling baby- in the bathtub, cozied up in a blanket, riding in a stroller.

"Uh, no..." I would answer each time, inwardly wondering where on earth the album of her baby pictures would have disappeared to. Well, as it turns out any pictures of Hannah between birth and approximately 2 years (when her little baby sister came into the scene) were still sitting in their Snapfish envelopes. Which wouldn't be so bad, really, if Adalie (her baby sis) didn't have a half an album to herself. Um. Oops.

Well, sadly, I still didn't rush to put the pictures in an album for her, but I did show her one of the envelopes and we went through them a few times till I cleaned up in a hurry one day (story of my life) and stashed them... somewhere. I know they can't be too far. Really. Just not precisely sure of their exact location a the current moment.

So that brings us to yesterday afternoon right before dinner when she was telling Jack about her baby pictures:

Hannah: Want to see my baby pictures?
Jack: I don't care.
Hannah: Mom, where are those pictures gone? When I was just a little tiny baby?
Me: Uh... Not sure right now, Hannah. But right now I'm in the middle of making supper- I'll look for them after.
Jack (completely serious): Maybe they really just didn't take any pictures of you, Hannah.

What do they call this sort of thing? Middle child syndrome? I've heard my sister mention it a time or two. But I promise- I will get those pictures put in albums. Just as soon as they are relocated.

Other than that- I am loving fall. Love walking to the bus stop in the morning with the kids, feeling the cool crisp air, coming home to enjoy breakfast and a cup or two of coffee with my husband. Going for rides in the morning with my husband and the little girls, feeling the inspiration to get into some projects, pulling out my knitting bag, drinking Pumpkin Spice tea, reading... Good time of year for a homebody like me.

I'm working on getting my sewing room back into some sort of order too. Did I mention I moved my sewing stuff from the kitchen table up to what was always supposed to be my craft room? And I don't really know if I like it. Maybe if my sewing table wasn't continuously buried under stacks and stacks of folded laundry I could actually form a real opinion of the space. I just kind of liked sewing at the kitchen table, despite the mess it made. So, we'll see if I remain in the craft/storage/laundry/everything-else-that-has-no-place-to-go-room or return to the kitchen.

And now, the littlest one is awake. She's been out of sorts all week and had a mild fever all day today. Thinking some more teeth are on the way. Gotta go give her some hugs.

Never a dull moment

2011-09-08T13:59:00.000-04:00

Can I go back to sleep yet? Seriously? You know those days when nothing real exciting happens, everything is just the same-old, same-old... kind of mundane? Well, I am most definitely not experiencing one of those type days. Just in case you were worried, or something. But if you are- enjoy it- and read on.

This morning my husband & I decided to take a ride out to our property. So, we drove out, enjoyed a walk, let the girls run up and down the road, enjoyed the quiet of a peaceful morning out in the woods. Then, after a bit, the babes started to get crabby and we decided it was time to head home for lunch. Except the vehicle wouldn't start. So there we are, out in the woods, no stroller, minimal to zero cell phone service, contemplating our next move. The cell phone service out there is so spotty it's usually non-existent. But walking to town was pretty much out of the question as we would obviously have to carry the girls and all I had was one backpack. Well, after some more failed attempts to start the Yukon, I located a spot that had sketchy service and was somehow able to get through to my parents who drove out to pick us up. Not that big of a deal.

Well, just as we get home Ryan decides to take his truck back out there to see if the Yukon just needs some gas. Meanwhile, the girls are making it known that they are starving and so I put a pot of water boiling on the stove for some noodles. I am very careful to put it on the back burner in the corner, away from any possibility of the girls pulling it on themselves. And even though I know better than to leave water boiling on the stove, I dash up stairs to put the wash going, figuring I'll be back down before the water even starts to get hot. I'm gone all of maybe three minutes.

But as I come down the stairs I smell smoke. And as I start to run I see black smoke covering the kitchen ceiling, curling into the living room where the girls are watching, too scared to move. Apparently it might have helped if I had turned on the right burner and not the one on top of which sat two oven mits, now engulfed in flames.

Long story short, with the girls safe outside, I smoldered the fire which could have been much, much worse than it was and, yes, I learned some serious lessons. Especially that- once you think you have the fire out you better be sure. After I smothered the fire, I had to get outside to get some air. Well, apparently when I smothered the oven mits, a hot coal had jumped to the floor and, unbeknown to me, was inside smoldering next to a cardboard box that was not discovered until Ryan came home a few minutes later. Arrrgh. Again- the potential to be much worse could no be understated.

So I'm done. I am tempted to sit in this chair for the remainder of the day. Except of course, the walls and cupboards need to be washed down. There's still a lingering smoke smell that I hope we can eradicate with some serious cleaning. Good thing I didn't wash walls yesterday like I had hoped!

Oh, and while all that was occurring? The vehicle was towed to the shop where they determined it needs a new fuel pump. Woo-hoo. There goes the new freezer idea. Oh well.

Anyways. My three year old keeps asking why I started a fire and she won't let me out of her sight. I've officially made her paranoid of the kitchen as well. But, all's well that ends well. We're all safe, our house is still standing. And here I sit, feet up drinking the caramel macchiato that my sweet husband just brought me from the coffee shop- his very good attempt to calm me down. No more excitement today, please I think I had my share, thank-you-very-much!

Good Day

2011-09-06T23:14:00.000-04:00

Whew. First day down and both are okay with the idea of heading back to school tomorrow. That's always a bonus. I asked them both, "How was your day?" and from one I got an answer that lasted for the next two hours, and from the other I got a return question, "What's Dad doing with those windows in the back of his truck?" Bet you can't guess which was which, huh?

The sweet and sassy three year old sprouted a new attitude today. Apparently kid 1 and kid 2 were getting a bit too much attention with this whole back-to-school-business. She soaked up the attention of her dad and I while the older two were away... but when they both returned, she found lots of little ways to hold her ground.

It's always a good feeling to get this first day over and done with. It's an even better feeling to get the whole first week under wraps so I can quit feeling like I spend half the day waiting for one bus or another. Since I didn't know what time to expect either kid to return, when I assumed they should be arriving, I walked to the bus stop and I waited... and waited... and waited. Good thing it was a beautiful day to be outside.

True confession. I make the kids take hot lunch at least a couple of times during the first days of school, even if I like packing their lunches (partly because I can monitor what they're eating and partly because it just feels like the right thing- my own mother packed mine daily for 13 years. I know. Spoiled. Different story.) Anyways, I don't want them to be afraid of it later on so they always have that option. We won't even go back to my childhood on this one, folks. We'll just leave it at that. Anyways. I convinced them both to take hot lunch tomorrow, so day 2 and I'm already slacking.

So, I'm ready to get some flack on this one... but I absolutely love fall. Don't worry, I've lived here long enough and I know what comes next- long, cold, dark winters- but I love just enjoying fall for what it is. The cooler weather the past couple of days has been so refreshing! I'm on a kick to get all sorts of things done around here in the upcoming weeks. Helps that I'm easing back down to my whopping one day a week work week, too. I look around this house and see all the cleaning and projects just waiting to be tackled. Today J looked behind the chair in the living room and said enthusiastically, "Hey, Mom! Did you know we have a big spider web back here?" Um, oops. Cool.

What's not cool is the fact that it's already after 11 and my earlier mornings are going to take some getting used to. And getting to bed earlier than I'm used to. So I'm off. Here's to hoping day 2 goes as well as day 1.

Ready or not...

2011-08-31T22:40:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking next week is going to produce some interesting scenarios around this house, as the school year rolls into gear. The earlier bedtime, for example, is sure to be met with a great amount of complaints, whining, and all around defiance. The earlier rising time, is going to be complete torture. The run, er... walk to the bus stop at a time of day when we're usually all still tucked in bed... the first days, the tears, the excitement... And that's just talking about me. Them? Not so concerned. They go to bed fairly well. They wake much too early for summer vacation, so I don't foresee too much difficulty in that arena. And they're both quite ready and excited to go.

But, oh, do I get anxious this time of year. (Well, okay, to be fair- I got anxious about last school year and I'm anxious again this year, this is only the second time I've done this first-day-of-school thing as a mom. Be patient with me.) Really, I know they will be fine, but as my head hits the pillow at night, my mind starts to whirl. I think of everything I should tell them, knowing I will have let them learn most of for themselves. I think of how much they have to learn, and I wonder if I could ever do it again. I'm pretty sure I could not do it all over again- and that's why it's so good we know not what lies ahead, but only what's in this moment. I think of disappointments that are sure to happen, but at the same time, all the happy times they will have.

I think of how brave they have to be, and how brave I'll have to pretend to be.

Each morning as the links on the countdown chain disappear, I see their excitement increasing and I know they won't always be this ready to begin school. And so, in all my worried-anxious-excited-nervous-over-emotional ways, I do the only thing I can- appreciate the moment. I let my heart skip a beat here and there as I think of the ups and downs and struggles life brings, and all that they must go through. But right now all I can do is give them hugs, remind them how I love them, and then watch them go- off to make their own discoveries, their own friends, their own happiness.

But, that's not to say I'm not going to shed any tears watching. There will be plenty of those as the school bus drives away, but I'm so glad there will be two little girls to cuddle with me while the big kids are gone- we just all might need a few extra hugs those first days back.

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo...

2011-08-19T23:54:00.000-04:00

...And we managed to keep it a secret too, too, too. From the kiddos, that is. I think after nearly seven years of parenting we have finally mastered- this one time- a vital lesson that makes life so much, much, more pleasant. In other words, we didn't tell the kids one second in advance where we are going or what we're doing tomorrow. Usually I'm so excited about an out-of-the-ordinary-outing, I can't keep it a secret so I end up blabbing it to the kids. And then I regret it for days. Sometimes weeks. Depends on how far in advance I spill the can of worms. I'm really good with secrets.

But not this time. Not one time this week did I have to hear, When are we going to the zoo, Mom? But WHEN? Can we go after supper, Mom? Can we go right now? Why can't we? Where's the zoo? How long does it take to get to the zoo? What's at the zoo? Is there monkeys at the zoo? Is there hippos at the zoo? Is there zebras at the zoo? When are we going? I WANNA GO RIGHT. NOW!

I could say it's been peaceful, but for some unknown reason the three year old has taken to asking when Christmas is coming instead. Which, in hindsight, after listening to her ask Is it Christmas tomorrow, Mom? and several other variations of that question approximately 157 times a day for the past week was actually more annoying than listening to them ask about the upcoming trip to the zoo. So if you look at it that way, my well-intended secret keeping actually backfired because instead I'm quite bothered by the fact that my kids can even think of Christmas while I'm trying to hang onto what's left of summer. This time I probably should have let her know about the zoo. It might have taken her mind off the whole Christmas topic for a few days, anyways.

There's sure to be some disappointment with the lack of giraffes- it was a bit of a letdown to the six year old last time we visited a giraffe-less zoo. Don't get me wrong, she loved the rest of the animals, but she's fascinated with giraffes and she really hoped next time we would see them. Turns out the zoo that has giraffes is actually two hours further away than the zoo we'll be visiting. A day trip, four kids, a bunch of animals... Not that difficult of a decision for us to make. But six year olds don't quite understand when you try to reason with them about gas prices and the whole sanity factor of being in a car for 9 hours in one day.

So, I might have to play dumb- Oh... There are no giraffes here? Well, look! Another MONKEY! How cool is that?! Plus, I heard they throw live rabbits in to the tigers at feeding time, so if that doesn't make her forget everything about giraffes, I'm not sure anything will. I know I plan to be scarred for life. (Hey. I used to cry when my brothers crushed milk cartons, remember? Throwing live rabbits in for the tigers just slightly surpasses that line.)

Oh well. I think I'll avoid that particular scene. So, off we go. And everyone will be happy and content and satisfied after a fun-filled day at the zoo. And they will all sleep the entire ride home because they will be so worn out. And... Okay. Enough is enough. Let's just hope we come home with the right monkeys. Should be eventful.

Waiting on the Falling Stars

2011-08-13T22:06:00.002-04:00

Well. I am pretty certain that was the longest break in the history of this blog! I could say it's because we've just been having way too much fun enjoying summer and my absence from this space had everything to do with the fact that I've been sitting with my toes in the lake, soaking up the sun, and relaxing with all the books that are on my list to read... But then... Well, actually... let's just stick with that fantasy, shall we? It beats the real truth by a long stretch.

No really. It's not that bad. We have spent time enjoying the lake and the sunshine, I've just been a little busier than I would like with work so it's put a little twist into our weeks, but it's, uh, it's good. It's temporary. Any week now I should be back to my regular schedule... Or so I keep telling myself. Hah.

My kids are currently struggling to stay awake to see if they can spot some shooting stars tonight. H is doing the head-bob on the couch willing her eyes to stay open. Pretty sure she's going to miss out on this one. I'm also pretty sure they're expecting explosions of stars flying across the sky- L looked a little disappointed when I assured her they would have to watch very carefully to possibly spot a few. They keep questioning when the shooting stars are "starting". Hope them stars deliver.

After running to the camp the past couple of days, I didn't mind spending the day at home today doing the weekly catch-up. Laundry, floors, quick scrub through the bathrooms and wah-lah. Good to go for another week. I've never had high standards, but they're hitting an all time low this summer. Good enough for me, this season is too short!

My mom and I picked raspberries this morning. I've never picked raspberries before,so I was excited to stash them in the freezer, but now I want more. Oooh, are they good! I think I'll try to go again early next week before their season is over. And hopefully, with some luck, one of these days I'll turn them- and some strawberries- into jam. Missing my strawberry jam in a bad way.

And look at that- it's dark out. Time to go scope out those meteor showers!

July

2011-07-01T10:51:00.000-04:00

And, Hello, July!

I'm enjoying a quiet morning here before the house gets too warm and stuffy (it's quickly approaching that point) and before the the first weekend in July moves fully into swing. Two of my kids spent the night at the camp with cousins- much to their delight, one is attempting a nap as she was kind of on the cranky side since the moment she got out of the crib this morning, and the other is wandering around, bored as can be, with her pink hello kitty bag asking over and over and over again when we are going to the camp.

This summer is picking up pace as the days go by. In early June we took the time to enjoy being outside- even if he weather wasn't always perfect. We pulled weeds from gardens, planted seeds, roasted marshmallows over bonfires in the backyard, and enjoyed those first fleeting days of summer- knowing how quickly the season tends to take off and leave us wondering why we never got to do half of the things we wanted to.

The second half of June passed in little more than a blink. We said good-bye to a dear uncle, one who touched so many of our lives. And we were reminded how faith and family remain the most important pieces of our lives. Without our faith, we are lost.

This week, we've been spending time close to family, not staying in the house for more time than it takes to fill the sink full of dishes and throw another load of laundry through the wash. We've been to and from the camp many times this week- visiting, getting eaten alive by the bugs, and then ultimately enjoying the view of the big lake from the front porch over cups of coffee and great company.

And through all of the busy- run here, run there, don't forget the swimsuits and remember the juice cup for the baby- packing & unpacking to do it all over again the next day I am reminding myself to take the time to just appreciate moments. Continuing to take time when I can for reading, journaling, quiet moments snatched up after the kids are in bed or before they're awake.

I hope for you, you are finding gentle moments to appreciate summer and all the beauty it offers. And that you have a fantastic fourth of July weekend- whether it finds you camping with friends or spending time in your own backyard- enjoy!

2011-06-04T23:59:00.000-04:00

So, we broke down and ordered up a trampoline a few days ago because we were feeling like our postage-stamp-sized backyard was feeling a little too roomy. Between the sandbox and the clothesline and the swing set... and the faded array of random sand toys that never actually stay in the sandbox we figured we should probably really cover up a little more of our very minimal square footage back there. And, now I can just wedge my lawn chair between the back steps and the clothesline, right behind the storage barn, and listen to my always cheerful and giggling children as they are provided with endless opportune hours of fun while I sip my coffee and blissfully read my book. Whhhhaaaaaaaaaatt?

Speaking of backyard additions- our neighbor just finished constructing an eight foot wall on the side of their deck that faces our backyard. Apparently after 7 years they finally came to the conclusion that A) we are not going anywhere anytime real soon, B) our yard (and the dirty-faced children running around it screaming at the tops of their lungs) really puts a crimp in their summer entertaining style, C) our five foot tall fence really does not hide the mess from their view (and here I so very naively thought it did...) and D) no, we're probably never going to update the exterior of our home or our windows, nor will we ever actually get around to doing any sort of landscaping- much less mowing the lawn in a timely fashion.

Actually, I was amazed it took them so long to come up with that convenient solution. Let their summer grilling season begin! I do hate to inform though- unless they've come up with a solution to drown out the sound, no matter how high you build that wall you'll never block out noise coming out of our yard on a daily basis. The added bonus for me was- now I have no clue when they're out their sitting on their deck so I can stress a lot less. Before I used to at least try to keep the monkeys resembling human beings when I knew the neighbor's were sitting twenty feet away, but now I'll never know if they are there. Perfect.

Oh well. With some hope and if it is meant to be, someday we will be out of this house and this neighborhood. If not... well then, the other neighbors just might follow the wall-builder's lead. I give them a year to catch on. Hah. Just wait till I park the trampoline in the one corner of the yard their wall won't completely hide...now, won't that just throw them for a loop...

No, I didn't finish my dress...

2011-05-16T14:07:00.000-04:00

So, apparently what I get for mentioning that I was thinking about making dresses was having to answer to the several people who asked about it. Um, oops. It was zooming along just fine- I was all excited because I've never sewn a dress for myself before- and then I ran into some, uh, issues. I was having difficulty lining things up in the back and I got really frustrated and I put it away and decided to take it back out when the danger of me destroying the whole thing had lifted. And that didn't happen any time last week. But I do want to finish it... Really.

Oh well. You should know be by now.

The wedding Saturday was so beautiful and the whole weekend was a lot of fun. Like always time passed in a blink, but while it was here, we enjoyed it. Being together with family makes me look forward to summer days ahead at the camp. Soon, I hope.

But before that, I have something else to look forward to. This weekend two of my bestest and I are making an escape to do some garage saling... A whole weekend of no kids, no husbands, no responsibility. Part of the fun is in the anticipation, I know, so I will be happily anticipating our getaway all week!

Eep. Just realized I should be planning a real supper tonight since my husband will be home. He's doing night shift all week which is weird because I'm so programmed for him to be gone in the afternoons. I don't switch gears very fast. Then again, I have to give a massage this afternoon so maybe I should leave the supper-making to him. He does a better job of that anyways. I'll just pretend I forgot.

Jack is FIVE

2011-05-15T22:23:00.000-04:00

On Friday, Jack turned five, so this afternoon we had a little party for him. Five. Five! As in... kindergarten in the fall, growing up so fast, five. This little guy was so excited for his party today. He asked me for a spiderman cake. Um. Spiderman? How about a lake with some fish swimming in it instead? He like that idea too. Whew! Much easier.

As mentioned earlier, I finished the quilt for him. It really went together quick because I was not worried so much about everything lining up just so like I had been with Lydia's. In other words, don't look too close. He appreciated it and that's all that matters.

One of the things I love so much about this kid is that he really does appreciate everything. He loves to give, and he treasures anything that's given to him. He's very careful about protecting his toys, keeps close tabs on anything of his the girls might play with, and loves to make things for everyone else. He's inventive, creative, and has such a big heart. We love him so much, our little boy.

So happy that he had a fun day today. He waited patiently for his party, and didn't stop smiling the whole time... Happy 5th Birthday, Jack!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

Happy, Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers I know... And most importantly to my own mother and my mother-in-law. Such amazing friendships I share with both of them.

Because I happened to be sick today and because Ryan worked today... it wasn't exactly the most exciting Mother's Day in history, but it was okay. Perhaps if my head didn't feel like it had been stuffed with cotton batting, and my nose didn't resemble a leaky faucet it, and just maybe if every other thing I did wasn't punctuated by a sneeze it could have been a bit better, but oh well. It is what it is and life goes on. The kids were-for the most part- decently behaved letting me spend most of the afternoon curled up on the couch with my book and not complaining over the cold cereal supper. Besides, I get my getaway in 17 days. Not that I'm counting down till my escape or anything.

The garage sale we had, albeit a success for the most part, might have been my last. I know. I say this every year, but this year I think I'm done for awhile. Too. Much. Stinkin. Work. Just possibly might have seemed more pronounced by the fact that this whopping cold was coming on for the past few days. Gee, Maaaaaybe.

I did, on Friday, receive a very sweet Mother's Day present from my oldest. A flower planted in a painted paper cup and a copy of their class cookbook. Here is the recipe my daughter submitted:

Ramen Noodles

First she puts some water, then she puts some noodles when it's starting to bubble.

Then, she um, gets all the water out and then after she gets all the water out she puts the sugar in.

And then she puts it in the bowls!

What can I say? I am a woman of high talent when it comes to cooking. Apparently I do ramen noodles really well, thank-you very much. She also wrote me a really sweet note all by herself, sounding out the words she didn't know. So very special!

Hope your day was wonderful!

(Oh, and p.s.: Spell check doesn't recognize 'Ramen'. Hello. The staple to ~~lazy,~~ er, busy moms everywhere? Cook much? Sheesh.)

May... {happy to see you, but how did you get here so fast?!}

2011-05-04T21:17:00.000-04:00

A few days into May and I still feel stuck back in mid-April. The weather has helped out with that, as did a fun trip to visit our rellies for Easter. Today, however, was a beautiful day- sunshine and decent temps made it feel like spring. If only I could have slowed down considerably to enjoy it a bit more.

This weekend my sister and I are having a garage sale... which always seems like a good idea in March or so, but always becomes a rather large and questionable project in the days leading up to it. I've been putting bags up in the attic all winter and when I pulled them down today I was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of stuff we had accumulated. It made me really refocus on my goal of simplifying things this year. Says the lady about to head out of town in couple of weeks for a girls garage sale weekend. Eh.

The other large project going on over here this week is my son's quilt. Yes, his birthday is next week. No, I did not start a month ago when I mentioned it. Yes, I only finished cutting the material on Monday, and you bet I plan to finish it by next week. He is, after all, waiting for a quilt. Yikes. This could get a little tricky. Thankfully it's not a difficult pattern and it's the same pattern I used for Lydia's. Which means I've been moving through it much quicker than I did for hers. And how can I not think of finishing it when he just came down and handed me an envelope saying, "Is it gonna be Mother's Day in the morning?" When I told him it wasn't until Sunday he just grinned and ran back up the stairs. Inside was a piece of paper with a heart drawn on it. So simple, so real, so exactly what melts a mother's heart.

And then... Hah. I won't even tell you what else I'm trying to slip in under the wire. I'm not planning to sew myself and Hannah a dress for the wedding next week. But you never know. Sometimes I think my life is defined by sprints. Will she finish in time, folks? The clock is ticking! I work good under pressure. If it's pressure determined by me, that is. But, oh well. Those last two things aren't that critical. Except that really they kind of are because I don't exactly have a dress. So unless I get ordering fast and just hope it fits perfectly- or happen to wander across something in our Massive Mega Mall- it could have the potential to become a slightly critical situation. But I'm not stressing about that. Yet. One day at a time, right?

Sidestepping away from the project scene, I'm finding myself suddenly very apprehensive of summer. I love summer, love the warm weather and the sunshine and the camp and everything else that comes rolling in when the calender flips over to June. But, this week I've had a taste of what I can expect living where we do.

The road we live on is not a main road, but a lot of people treat it like one. They fly. And I mean 45 miles-per-hour, not stopping for anything sail down our road. Teenagers, mostly. Cruising along with cigarettes hanging out of the windows and music blaring. And although we have a fenced in backyard specifically because of that, this year I have two kids who want to ride bikes constantly. Last year, when it was just Lydia doing the biking the majority of the time, I was a little more relaxed. By herself, she's more careful. But put two of them together? And they're distracted by the other constantly. And even though there's a large parking lot across the street that they ride in, I'm paranoid. Unless I am out there with them continuously- which shouldn't be a problem since I have nothing else to do, right?- I am constantly running to the window to check where they are.

Obviously we're going to have to limit when they bike so that one of us can be out there with them, but there's going to be two unhappy campers under our roof when they realize the freedom they assume they have this week is not going to last. I'm really considering getting a trampoline now. Something to entice them to stay in the yard a lot more. My always low blood pressure has taken a steep incline this week, I think. Something's gotta change.

And that's our current phase of life summed down to a few rather lengthy paragraphs. Hope you are enjoying spring sunshine and longer days!

Popsicles & April Snow

2011-04-16T22:43:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here on the couch with a feverish little body pressed up against mine. She's eating her fifth or sixth popsicle of the day because nothing else holds any appeal to her. And nothing else has stayed down since yesterday either. We've been lucky to dodge most of the bugs that have been going around this year. But not this one. So between Hannah down with this bug and the snow that halted all the progress spring had made, today was kind of a quiet day. Her and I did a lot of reading and a lot of snuggling on the couch. I'm not sure what the rest of the kids did. Kidding. Sort of.

So about that snow. Knowing it's not atypical for our area and also knowing it probably won't last long do not help to soften the blow of a mid-April snowstorm. At all. Last week we enjoyed some afternoons in the backyard, the ground beneath my clothesline became fabulously free of snow, and the sandbox was unearthed from the mountain of snow that covered it. Everything in the backyard was new again as the kids soaked up the fresh air well into the evening causing them to sleep so good. So I'm just not real excited about going backward, you see. Seeing the ground covered once again in white is more than a little depressing. Back on with the winter jackets, back out with the boots. Just in case we were actually thinking spring might be here or something. We'll try again in June. Maybe.

And... That's all I got for the moment. Another popsicle is needed. Maybe dolly is perking up a little because she just ate a cracker too. Ooh, I can hope- for some actual sleep tonight for her and I. And everyone else for that matter.

Right Now

2011-03-28T22:11:00.001-04:00

Right now, I am...

Enjoying a quiet, clean house with my feet up while sipping some tea.
Feeling relaxed after a tough workout.
Remembering how good those endorphins are for the mood. Oh, it's been too long.
Getting set for a busy week- work called- they need me there tomorrow and- judging by the situation, possibly another day in addition to my regularly scheduled day.
Marveling that all of my daytime babysitter options seem to have gone MIA at once. Coincidence?
Thankful that it's spring break week and that I have lots of nieces of the babysitting age. And one that's able to help me out tomorrow on last minute notice. And for a father in law who says he'll take the kids another day if needed.
Glad for the break from school for Lydia. Jack is so happy to have her home- and so am I.
Happy- so happy- for the sunshine we're seeing nearly every day now. Incredible, what it does for one's mood!
Pondering which book amongst the stack of books by my bed I want to dive into first.
Realizing it's almost April- and how exciting is that?
Also realizing that means my son's birthday is a month and a half away. And he's fully expecting a 'boy' quilt like the one his sister got for her birthday.
Not panicking. Yet. Because I have all the fabric and some of it is cut out. Way ahead of the game here. It's all good.
Recalling, however, that my free motion quilting foot (which was so much fun, by the way) broke at the very end of that quilt.
Debating if I should get another one or do his a bit different.
Knowing these next few days are going to sail by as we move into the weekend the kids have been waiting for and counting down to for weeks.
Hoping for a good time with healthy, happy kids. And healthy happy parents.
Ready, at 10 p.m., to crawl in bed for the night and pick up one of those books.
Focusing. On being still. On breathing deeply and letting the worries of the day fade.
Content.

ANY Day Now...

2011-03-17T21:49:00.002-04:00

We are currently in the midst of a record-breaking tooth cutting marathon. At least for our house. My little mold-breaker over here is at it again, although through no fault of her own. To say she's feeling kind of rough could just possibly be as understated as saying rocks thrown with significant force can kind of break windows.

And I'm feeling pretty haggard. Oh HOW long can this ridiculous insanity go on? Once again, I am pulling my foot out of my mouth. Never again, friends, will you hear me brag about the children in this house who just popped teeth through like it was fun or something without subsequently bringing up our war stories of this sweet child of mine.

If I didn't feel so bad for her, I would actually probably find a lot of humor in the apparent coping mechanisms she's acquired during this long and painful stint. Trust me, you give the baby whatever she wants these days- cell phone as a chew toy? suuuure. Saltines for supper? why not?! Is there a problem with that?

If, for some backward-thinking moment you believe you actually are going to deny her wants, let me tell you friend, you are in for quite a show. She'll start smacking her gums, yelling "MMMMAM-MAAAM-MMMAAAAA-MAAAMMM!" and will (taking into no account how far she might flop or where she might land) flail herself onto the ground in a complete breakdown. It is a serious five star-worthy tantrum. My three year old can't pull them off that well. And she's got years of experience. Oh, who am I trying to kid? I do find humor in it. Only because a moment later she's on to something else and has completely erased all memory of the fact that I just fished a beaded bracelet out of her mouth.

Last night was fun. She spent three beautifully long hours from 11 to 2 completely resisting sleep, literally screaming if either of us so much as dared lay her back down hoping we might stop our zombie-like stumbling around the house and get some sleep ourselves.

Trying to think when you're tired becomes as easy as trying to locate missing pluggies under the crib in the pitch black of night. What does she want? How do I know? Another bottle? WHAT, you already gave her one?! Where's the Tylenol? Already gave it. Can she have more yet? What in the world time is it? NOT time to be awake. We can't just drug her up... Can we? Oh, uh, NO. No. Go for the bottle.

I attempted to take her into bed. Bad move. When will I ever learn this never, ever, under any circumstances solves problems so much as it serves to create newer, bigger ones? Like I mentioned above, apparently my thinking was skewed from the sleep I realized I would no longer be getting and I was desperate, so I hauled her in.

We all have those weak moments of grandiose ideas when we think- maybe, maaayyybee what has never worked before will somehow miraculously work just this once. Again, I was proven wrong. After she had completely wedged her entire squirming and kicking body halfway on top of mine, she made sure to lay a protective hand over my face lest I actually try to breathe or something. Needless to say, that lasted approximately two and a half minutes and at long last she finally fell asleep, exhausted, as I rocked her in the creaky chair next to the bed.

I think we're going to throw a party when those swollen red gums finally allow those difficult little teeth to slip through. After weeks of this mad torture we all will have surely earned it.

Plummeting willpower

2011-03-11T21:11:00.002-05:00

So, someone around here had the dumb idea this week to start eating a little more healthy. This is always a fun way to assess just how horrible my self-control really is. Every few months or so I set myself up in this trap just to make sure I'm still really bad at being on any sort of health-kick for more than approximately 42 hours.

I see those people at showers and get-togethers who pass by the bakery and chocolate like it's no big deal as they load up their plates with tomato slices and grapes. The same ones who eat granola and fresh fruit for breakfast and lay claims to things like, you know... I never really cared for triple-chocolate-turtle-cheesecake. They run, like, fifteen miles a day and buy running shoes and running shirts to actually wear for, uh, running rather than marathon cleaning sessions when company calls and says they'll be there in ten minutes. Well, every once and awhile I aspire to be like them. Usually with no real plan in mind. Let's wing it- yeah! Let's get HEALTHY.

So, as expected, I started off the week with a vengeance. Measured out my cereal, chopped up veggies, bought some hummus, and baked some ridiculously healthy brownies made of carob powder, whole wheat flour, and I'm pretty sure nothing else. Willpower made of steel on day one. With ~~extreme effort~~, er, with natural instinct to make the right choice I went for a snack of broccoli and carrot sticks with guacamole- knowing full well we had vanilla ice cream in the freezer, hot fudge in the fridge, and real right out of the box full fudge brownies in a 9x13 on the counter. Congratulated myself up and down, I did.

On Tuesday, I continued my veggie-munching, whipped up a grilled chicken-something-or-other for lunch, and guzzled water to the point that I can't really remember what else I did besides run to the bathroom all day. On Tuesday evening I had myself a tiny hot fudge brownie sundae. Oopsie daisy. No biggie. I'm not all for deprivation, you know.

By Thursday I was eating at McDonald's with the family. Oh yes, I was. And I can't even brag and say I ordered a grilled chicken snack wrap because that would imply that I didn't snitch half of the kids french fries or nibble on those yummy grease-coated, over-processed, chicken nuggets that supposedly contain zero percent chicken or something like that as I tore them up for the young ens. It would not have surprised me in the least had I started jumping up and down and begging for ice cream afterwards with the kids.

Thursday was also the day we (and when I say 'we' I really do mean my husband and I) baked bread. It wasn't my idea. He wanted to, and I was so giddy with disbelief that he seriously wanted to bake bread that I happily agreed, telling myself I could not be held accountable for any slip-ups on the diet exchanged for a chance to create such a rare piece of history. Anyways, that's another story. Homemade bread is always a killer. I can stay away from store-bought bread pretty easily. But, homemade? Cinnamon swirl homemade?

Apparently if you're trying to eat healthy there's a few things you shouldn't do. One of them is frequent fast-food joints and the other is not bake yeast-filled lumps of cinnamon-y-sugary goodness. The smell alone will drive you to such extreme madness that you will not be able to control yourself or the hunger you have attempted to ignore and deny all week. The results will be catastrophic. Lesson learned.

Let's all hear it for will-power, shall we? I can hardly wait to find out how Saturday goes.

This Little Old Town

2011-03-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

The other night we went to the second annual dog sled races in our town. And I had one of those moments where I felt such pride to live in this area. As we stood shivering on main street, gathering with the other spectators that had came to watch the race begin, my husband and I tried to imagine what life was like here 100 years or so ago when the streets were lined with people like that on any average Friday evening. Sometimes we forget about all the history this area holds and when we stop to think of it like that- it's pretty amazing. And then, we came to the conclusion that we're pretty glad there are no longer 50,000 or so people living in this area like there was at one time. We rather like it on the smallish side, thank-you very much.

Sometimes this town gets a bad rap. The negatives get brought up much more than the positives. People who don't live here drive through it and see a bunch of run down buildings and abandoned houses. They see struggling businesses and tired neighborhoods and they leave as fast as they came in. But others- those of us who grew up here- well, we don't mind it so much. In fact, some of us rather like this little old town quite a bit.

So it was one of those moments- first, watching the mushers led out of town by their teams of dogs with so much support from the community, and then later watching the brief- but perfect in it's small-town way- display of fireworks over the football field- which led me to feel a strong sense of pride for this little, old town.

Several years ago I was asked if I minded growing up here. No offense to the asker, but it was worded as if it were some sort of punishment to grow up here. And I immediately laughed. Minded? I repeated and chuckled some more. It's where I was born, where I made friendships and went to school. The streets of this town are familiar to me in a comfortable sort of way that fits. I skied on the hill behind my house, I ran the trails that wound through the woods, I thought perhaps someday I'd leave, but I never went too far. This is my home.

Did I mind growing up in this town? Not hardly. I felt lucky to grow up here and I feel lucky to raise my kids here. Not everyone might agree with me- of course this place has it's difficulties like any other town in this country- but it's not that bad. In fact, this town is pretty much okay.

Do you Swag?

2011-02-21T22:39:00.000-05:00

So, you might have noticed the new swagbucks banner flying over there in the sidebar. I've been using the swagbuck's search engine for a year now. I've had fun using it- it doesn't take a lot of time, and it's simple. And if you aren't already using swagbucks... Maybe it's time you checked it out too.

It's pretty simple. Click on the banner to get started creating your account. Once you've created an account and downloaded the toolbar, start searching and winning. I use the search box for any site I might go to rather than typing in the address. For example- instead of typing in sarahscoffeebreak.blogspot.com and going directly to my blog, I would use the search box and type in something like "sarahs coffee break" instead. Swagbucks are rewarded randomly for searches and are saved up to be traded in for gift cards, prizes, etc.- my favorite is the $5 Amazon gift card. You can use multiple gift cards on an order. Can't beat free.

There are other ways to earn swagbucks too. Codes, surveys, referrals (hint, hint). Mainly, I've stuck to just the searches. Last year without doing anything other than searching I had slightly upwards of $50 in Amazon cards. $15 so far this year. Not bad for not really doing much. So if you spend a lot of time online- or a little- what are you waiting for? Get swagging!

Things that go bump in the night...

2011-02-19T23:34:00.002-05:00

I'm really not normally a chicken. I've gotten quite used to my husband working the afternoon shift and sometimes the night shift without much of a thought. Even during the crazy wind storm when this old house was shaking in it's foundation, I wasn't phased. Eh. Just wind. Nothing to worry about. What's meant will be.

Well, hah. Tonight it's silent. The children are sound asleep. And about an hour ago, I heard something come crashing down in the basement and- no kidding- I thought for sure someone was creeping around my house. I was upstairs in my room at the time, so big-brave-me, I tiptoed down to the living room- clutching the phone, ready to dial for help. I stood in the middle of the living room staring at the basement door, imagining all sorts of scenarios. Debated about calling one of my big brothers to come investigate but couldn't quite bring myself to the humiliation that situation could evoke for years to come. Because, being rational, I knew it was very unlikely that the noise was caused by anything other than something simply falling. Still. I was spooked. (And apparently admitting it for all to see on here is somehow less humiliating. Yeah. Somehow.)

So instead, I dragged the bookcase in front of the basement door and then wedged a bench from the kitchen between the handle and the wall. Then I stood back admiring my crafty work. I'm sure it would really stop an intruder. At least I keep telling myself that as I continue to hear the typical creaks that tonight make up a colorful array of ridiculous illusions.

I've got two phones next to me in case one should fail to work. And a rubber mallet under my bed. And I'm quite certain I have my plan of defense all worked out. You know. Just in case. In fact, I have several. So it's best not to mess with me or my rubber mallet.

Oh. And I think I just heard my husband pull up outside. I wonder if he'll notice the bookcase and the bench.

I will most definitely require him to check the situation out, though. You know- just to see what fell. What, me? Scared of a little noise? Pshaw. Whatever.

Happy Birthday to my three year old!

2011-02-11T23:25:00.000-05:00

Every morning for the past several weeks, Hannah has asked, "It my birthday today?" She's been anticipating turning three for quite some time. And anticipating the presents and the cake even more. Today, she turned three. Except she has to wait a few more days for her cake. And the party she's been imagining in her mind. A couple of her aunts gave her presents today and Grandma's came last week, though. So I think she's pretty content with that. Lucky girl.

Sometime in the past year, my little girl somehow became one of the 'big kids'. She went from sitting at my feet, to building forts with her brother and playing dolls with her sister. She's independent, so very, very independent in so many ways. Loves to declare, "I'll do it myself, Mom." And, yet she's a cuddler. From the start, she was the only one of my babies that would lay her head on my shoulder and fall asleep that way. Didn't really care too much about what kind of chaos was going on around her. She was born at a very busy point in our lives and when the craziness of our school schedule became too much- she was the quiet little place that kept me sane.

I remember when she was a baby, I would sometimes worry that she slept too much. Relaxed and content, she loved her sleep. Even now, she decides at about 6:30 each night that she's tired. And that's that. She'll be sitting at the table coloring and decide it's time for bed and off she goes. Just like that.

She makes us laugh- comes up with responses like, Ha, ha. Very funny. Acts like such a big girl when she is still so very much my little girl. She loves her dolls. Loves playing outside in the snow with her big sister & brother. Loves sleeping at Grandpa's & Grandma's. And when you ask her who's sweetheart she is, she'll almost always reply, "Grampas!"

So, even though we won't 'celebrate' her birthday until Sunday when Dad is off work, today we're wishing her a happy birthday. And hoping three is every bit as wonderful as two was for our little girl.

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

Our Baby Is One!

2011-02-01T00:23:00.000-05:00

I love birthdays. I love the celebrations, the remembering, the way everyone treats the birthday kid like they are the queen or king for a day. Today, the littlest one of our crew turned one. One. As in- an entire year has gone by since she was born. So much has happened, time has passed, life has progressed- and still it seems like we were just walking through the hospital doors. But, now suddenly we're walking around the house with little chubby fists wrapped around our fingers, while little feet below learn to tentatively put one in front of the other.

Last winter, much time was spent cuddling our little baby close. Cozying up in the rocking chair, holding tight to baby days that we knew would pass so quickly. And pass they did- with the weeks stacking up against each other so quickly it left me overwhelmed once again at how fast things change, how quickly time moves forward. And then sometimes- while in the midst of the long nights, the crying jags, and her lack of naps- I would again feel overwhelmed, wondering when it all would change.

And yet, here she is- past the baby stage, but still so very much a baby. Tucking her head onto my shoulder, twisting her arm up to touch my face, looking up at me with such trust. Every age is so beautiful for it's own reasons. So many times throughout my children's lives I exclaim, I love this age! And I do. I love how she crinkles her eyes and waits for us to all laugh at meal time, I love how she gets so excited she bounces across the floor on her knees. I love how she can play for awhile- exploring all around without a care- and suddenly she starts to whimper and comes crawling over for some hugs before she's off again. I love the way she imitates words with sounds, the way she gets so excited when everyone cheers for her as she stands next to the couch with only one hand.

As I watched her today, excitedly examining the cupcake she'd been given, I thought, slow down baby! Time is going too fast! But of course, time will not really slow down. Not in the rush of every day life. And so when she comes over to me for hugs, when she cries out for me in the wee hours of barely morning, when she still looks for that bottle at some point during the night, I will linger with her in my arms. Hold on to my one year old girl, kiss her round cheeks, and feel the beauty of life slowing down for just a moment. Because all too suddenly, she will be two.

Happy first birthday, my sweet baby girl! One is such a fun age to be!

2011-01-24T20:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I was beginning to wonder if I had ruined things the way I blogged about the job I interviewed for looking "probable" last week. However, today I got the call- and the offer. So relieved and excited. And, ready. It's time. And- truthfully- it's kind of an ideal job for the point I'm at in my life. After orientation, I will be working one day a week- and replacement as necessary- in an allergy clinic. I'm pretty excited for this opportunity- there will be a lot to learn. And, one day a week? Perfect. Couldn't have asked for a better job to literally fall into my hands right now. With my husband busy on afternoons, I was holding out for something that would be low-stress and work with our current chaos... Uh, schedule I mean. For the most part. And it looks as though I've found it. Sa-weet!

So. Lots to do this week to prepare. Sitter schedule to figure out, next week's appointments to reschedule, school to notify about bussing, and, uh, some clothes to buy. The bonus is- we don't wear scrubs there. So that means I get to go shopping for some new dress clothes because... I've become quite comfy in t-shirts and jeans around here in the past few years. Good excuse to get a couple new things. Too bad we don't have much for decent shopping around here.

I told my kids about it- started explaining how things are going to be a little different around here for a month or so (because I'm starting out at 2.5 days a week until I'm somewhat trained in). They just kind of looked at me and said, "Oh", and went back to their coloring. Apparently it's not a real high concern to them. Hopefully we all adjust okay. We have before, we will again. It's life.

Upstairs, J & H are having a "sleepover" on their floor. We have hardwood floors up there and I guess it's more fun to unroll their sleeping bags on the floor than sleep in their beds as they like to do this quite often. I'm hearing a lot of little thumps and crashes right now, though, so it's probably time to get off the computer and go investigate.

Random Updates

2011-01-18T23:48:00.000-05:00

Spent many days last week laying on the couch or huddled on the chair. Whining about my mouth. Wondering why I was such a wimp.
Saturday, day 5? 6? after having my wisdom teeth out I was still having a really hard time eating.
Sunday I tried to pretend I my mouth wasn't throbbing and that the pain in my temple was just my imagination.
Sunday evening I looked inside my mouth and discovered a nice open hole in my gums. Huh. Pretty sure I wasn't supposed to see my jaw bone through the hole. Or the hole, period. Gee, perhaps that's why I felt like the side of my face was going to explode every time I drank/ate/talked/breathed???
Monday morning I went in and- yes, it had developed into a dry socket.
Had it irrigated and packed and it started to feel better immediately.
Will have it packed. And repacked. And repacked. Until it heals- maybe two weeks? maybe more?
Kind of grossed out at the fact that there's gauze stuffed into a hole in my mouth for three days at a time.
So I thought I'd gross you out too.
Because I'm so generous like that and I love to share.
I mean, I've seen big nasty decubitus ulcers packed, but somehow when I relate that to myself... Eew.
Gross.
This morning I woke up at 6 a.m. and interviewed for a job at 8.
This afternoon I went back to "interview" with the nurses.
This evening we went to Lydia's gymnastics and then visiting.
Tonight... I'm feeling excited/nervous/excited/nervous at the possibility of going to work.
Yet, it's only still a possibility. But a kind of good one.
Tonight, I am feeling only a minimal ache in my mouth- Hello! I ate pizza for supper! Good-bye chocolate meal shakes! And yogurt, you were my friend until we became a little too friendly for a week straight so let's just go on a little break, shall we?
Tonight, all of my children are sleeping in their own beds for the first time since we switched the rooms around a few weeks ago.
Crossing my fingers they all stay there too.
Because tonight... I think I'm ready for a really good night's sleep.

The age of Innocence. Or, uh, feigned Innocence.

2011-01-14T15:08:00.001-05:00

I'm pretty sure my two year old believes in her mind she's mastered the art of conviction. She really gets into it- drawing out her response to any accusation with a "Nooooo! Nottt mee-eee!" Like for example, this afternoon. (Not taking into account that I, in all my laziness, didn't pick up the pieces of ham and cheese sandwich that had been tossed from the high chair by the babes. Hey. She likes to eat everything off the floor anyways- why not have something somewhat nutritious, right? I didn't just write that. You're imagining it. Like I would do that. Ahem. OK, seriously- what's worse- that I think ham & cheese on white bread is nutritious or the fact that I let my baby eat it off the floor after she's tossed it there at lunch? There's no recovering from the point of life I have reached, folks. This is just. The way. It is.)

Moving on. So, there's ham and cheese smeared across the floor and in this scenario, let's just say I hadn't gotten done cleaning up lunch just yet (like it was moments ago if that makes you feel better). So I notice Hannah's socks have a piece of cheese plastered to the bottom of them with a few stray chunks of ham attached to the sides. "Did you do do that?" I ask in one of those dumb moments when you know the answer, but you just ask the question to waste your own time. Like you're going to teach them a lesson on honesty or something equally profound. Like it might actually stick and they might get what you're getting at. I should know better: at this age it's best to just let them do what they want and clean up the mess when they're four. Or fourteen. Or moved out?

Anyways- she looks at me all astonished with her sparkling eyes and says, "Noooo! Not Mee-eeeeee!" So I bend down and pick the mess off her sock. Really, then...? What's this? She looks at it all confused like she has no idea what I'm even talking about. Oh, how she has this innocence-thing down.

She also pulls of the I'm-not-doing-anything-act real well. The other day I went into the bathroom where she was standing next to the sink looking rather guilty and suspicious, although I couldn't really see anything out of the ordinary. She turns her back to me and says, "Go back in the kitchen, now, Mom." This happens quite regularly. Often it's "Close your eyes, Mom." Like somehow she might be able to squirt out all the toothpaste all over the sink without me knowing as long as my eyes aren't open.

She's always got something going on. When we do at last put an end to her charades and tell her she's not allowed to do something, she pulls out the dramatics and slumps her shoulders while she walks away. Like we're so mean and she's so deprived.

Oh, life would be dull without two year olds!

House cleaning, Teeth pulling, & other January news

2011-01-11T12:17:00.000-05:00

Well, we made the trek to get my wisdom teeth yanked yesterday and much to my happiness I survived. Turns out everyone was right- it was not nearly as bad as I had envisioned. And whatever it is they give to sedate you... well, that stuff is pretty sweet. Didn't feel a single thing and felt like I was swimming on a cloud.

Then, after sleeping away the entire day I woke up to a bit of soreness and swelling this morning, but nothing too major. Just growing kind of annoyed at these instant meal shakes, however. What I wouldn't give for a piece of pizza right now. Or a Danwhich. Or even a salad. Mm. Yeah. These shakes sure don't measure up. Oh, and did I mention I haven't drank coffee since Sunday? I can have it if it's lukewarm, but that just sounds cruel. But soon, folks, soon I will be moving on to better things like mashed potatoes and noodles. Can hardly control my excitement.

Other than that- I spent a long weekend in MN with just the baby. It was such a fun getaway as the baby was an easy traveler. Finally got to meet my newest niece out there too and she's not even such a brand new baby anymore! Time flies, and I'm so grateful I got to see her now rather than in a few more months because she's already almost four months old. The only problem was- the weekend went by too quick. Of course. Yet we enjoyed every minute of it.

Seems everyone in this family has taken a turn being sick since I left. And last night it was the baby's turn- poor little girl didn't know what was going on, but handled it so well. And woke up seemingly fine. So the only one left is me and I'm pretty sure I paid my dues in December, so I think I get to skip out of this bug, right? It's only fair.

So far, January has been off to a pretty good start. I got some major cleaning and organizing done in parts of the upstairs before I left for MN and I hope to continue that this week or next. It always surprises me how out of control I can let things become- especially around the holidays. Standing in the upstairs bathroom/laundry room last week, my husband said, "Huh. I forgot what this floor looked like!" Well. Pretty close. And then there's the craft room/storage room/dumping ground for any miscellaneous items. I'm working on that. Hoping to actually convert it back to it's original purpose- a place for me to scrapbook & sew & paint & such. Instead of using the kitchen table as my all-purpose crafting area.

Other than that- we finally got bedrooms switched around last week as I mentioned via facebook. Seems to be working really well... Except that my nearly one year old wails like I've abandoned her forever whenever we try to put her in her new room. She'd rather stay in her tiny little pack-n-play where she's just an arm's reach away from me. Argh. I've never waited this long to transfer a kid to their own room- and now I know why. Problem is- she's not the greatest sleeper in the world as it is- and I'm finding it a whole lot easier to just keep sticking her in our room rather than making her suffer it out in the other room. We tried a few whole nights- she was up every half hour. I gave in after a few hours of it. I'm an enabler. Ah, well. Not the worst thing in the world to be so loved, right? Anyways- any advice on this situation would be appreciated.

And, that is it from this house at the moment. Hope your January is going well!

For auld lang syne

2010-12-31T01:27:00.000-05:00

It's late and I should be asleep. Instead, I find myself alternately browsing between websites- searching for a fabulous turtle cheesecake recipe for tomorrow night and then switching back to the the site where I've ordered about half of my cloth diapers from in the past- trying to decide how to spend my gift certificate. Yep. Yours truly actually won something for what just might be the first time ever. Not kidding (about the certificate or about never winning.) I mean- some people claim they never win anything, but for real! I never do. Until now. Last week, I won a $25 gift certificate to their store. The best part is, the babes doesn't need any diapers right now and they carry plenty of other things besides diapers. PLUS- they have free shipping on everything all the time. So I don't have to feel like I'm wasting half of it just to get it here. Which makes the decision incredibly hard. Blow it all on an adorable set of sweet little socks or be responsible and buy something like laundry detergent? Ah, it's so hard to decide. But, I'll carry on. Much of the fun lies in the browsing.

As far as the cheesecake goes- I'm dreaming of something rich and gooey and chocolaty with toasted pecans. Mmm. I think I might have found a recipe on allrecipes.com, but I may have to alter it a bit. My hubby works tomorrow evening so I assumed I'd be sitting home, but my dear sister felt pity on me and invited me over. I'm giddy with excitement. I just love when I have somewhere to go in the evenings. The afternoon shift can sometimes get long. Ah, who am I kidding? The afternoon shift always gets long. Thankful, so very, very thankful for his job... But not so crazy about the 3 to 11 shift. But we make do. We make it work the best we can. And, we were so glad to have him home for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year (he actually had a four day break surrounding Christmas!) So, anyways, I'm anticipating getting out tomorrow night- even if it is just the kids and I.

My track record for blogging has been sporadic at best these past months. Four days in a row... and then nothing for four weeks straight. I've been debating about making this blog private. I get self-conscious, if you will, about what I post here, how it might be interpreted, and so on and so forth. And I think- no one wants to read this anyways! But then I waver. See, people have different opinions about the Internet. Some are paranoid about having their identities stolen, about the bad information that's out there- and with every right reason to be. It's a crazy world. One can never be too safe. But then, I look at this blog, other's blogs, and facebook as a way to connect in a way I otherwise would not be able to. I've gotten to know friends and relatives who live states away better through the Internet. It's not going anywhere- embrace it for what it is. So there I sit- back at the starting block- continue blogging for all the world to see (potentially- not literally- I'm well aware my meager audience does not encompass such massive populations) or make it private and continue this for what it was always meant to be- a record for my children. I think I've debated this before. I think with the new year now would be a time to make a decision.

Anyways. I hope you enjoyed your Christmas; we spent ours happily surrounded by family, good food, fun surprise gifts given and received in anticipation. And now, looking forward to 2011 I'm trying to wonder if I have any resolutions this year. I love to make resolutions- I love to make lists- it comes with the territory. The key is (or so I've read) is to make attainable resolutions. Hm. I think I'll need to ponder this one a bit. I will be sure to let you know, though.

And lastly, after years of listening to it played over the radio at midnight on New Years Eve, I finally looked up the lyrics to Auld Lang Syne and discovered it means literally "days long since" or days gone by... or the good old days... So with a reflective look at the days passed and a hope for those to come... Happy New Year! Ring it in with joy & laughter for a beautiful 2011!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,

and never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear...

For auld lang syne!

We'll take a cup of kindness, yet

For auld lang syne!...

-Robert Burns

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-22T00:03:00.000-05:00

With only a few days to go before Christmas, this house has about maxed out on the excitement level. We've already gone to two of our family parties with two more we've yet to attend.

I love this time of year. I love the get togethers, the visits with family and friends we don't see sometimes for an entire year at a time. I love the Christmas cards in the mail every day, the kind hearted way a complete stranger in the store wished me a Merry Christmas after I almost ran him over with my cart while lost in shopping-list-trance.

I love the way the children count down with a paper chain until Santa arrives, the decorating cookies, the kitchen warm and our faces flushed from all day baking that produces our favorites: truffles, and ginger snaps, and iced sugar cookies. I love the excitement, the tree glowing in the corner, the way my two year old points out each and every house that has lights with such enthusiasm you would think each one she sees is the very first.

I love remembering often why we celebrate Christmas and hearing that message spoken by the little children at their Sunday School program. I love gathering close with my family on Christmas Eve- all of us crowding into my parent's house because moving that party to a larger place just wouldn't feel quite right. I love singing carols, hearing the children hum along over the parts they don't know yet, and just feeling content and blessed in my heart.

I love all the moments I've put into the little presents I'm making for my children, imagining the delight on their faces when they tear open the paper on Christmas Eve. I love the traditions we are creating and building upon in our own little family while continuing with the traditions we've been brought up on for as long as we can remember.

So, wherever you are this season and in whatever way you are carrying out your own traditions, my wish for you is a wonderfully happy Christmas and joy in great abundance.

Merry Christmas!

Six years old

2010-11-24T22:40:00.002-05:00

We had a celebration of the six year old sort this afternoon at hour house. I really can't help making birthdays kind of a big deal. Looking back at my own childhood there were two days of the year- every year- that stood out from the rest: the first was Christmas, the second was my birthday. Birthdays for children should be one of the very most exciting days of the year. It's a day of celebrating a new milestone reached- one more year older, two hands needed to hold up your age instead of just one. As she said, "Yesterday I was just five and now, today I am six!" So we had a party, and what a fun one it turned out to be.

Five of her friends came over after school for the party- an event that was looked forward to and counted down to for weeks by Lydia. I adore this kindergarten age so much! The girls are all so expressive, growing up so much, and still so sweetly little.

Yesterday, after school Lydia was the only kid home and she went out to play in the snow by herself. I was rushing around the house doing the infamous dash between the washing machine and the kitchen sink when I paused by the window at the top of the stairs to check on her. There she was- chatting away to herself, playing in the little mound of snow by the side of the drive, busy and content in a world of her own. It was one of those moments in life that sends your mind on a little slide show of days passed, while you stand frozen watching and marveling at real life.

Six. Six years ago on a Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving, I was sitting in the hospital holding a sweet little baby girl. Our Thanksgiving plans were quickly changed in the best possible way. And, standing there watching her yesterday I was brought back all those years and wondering how it could be she was already so big.

I've written her some thoughts, but I'm not sharing them here this year. Instead, they're for her alone. What I will say is, Happy Birthday, Lydia! I'm so glad you had a fun day.

Oh, and because I mentioned I was working on finishing this for her birthday, here it is: proof that it's finished. I put the final stitches on it yesterday. Whew!

This turned out to be such a fun project! I've never attempted putting together a quilt before this one, so everything was just an experiment. I never worried about the final outcome, or the little mistakes made along the way- just had fun with each step. Her doll has a matching one.

And now, I'm going to help myself to a bowl of birthday cake ice cream. Have you tried this stuff? WOW! It's like the best parts of childhood mixed into ice cream (and still so enjoyed by this, ahem, adult).

ETA: The instructions for this quilt can be found at the Old Red Barn Co. This was from a quilt-along she posted last summer. Very easy to follow and lots of great pictures to make everything visual.

Let the hunt begin!

2010-11-15T09:58:00.000-05:00

I am loving the winter wonderland we woke up to this morning! The white everywhere brightens up the house and pulls me out of the gray November lulls right into Christmas-list-making, planning, dreaming. The majority of my shopping is completed thanks to the Internet, but there are a lot of projects I'm making or hoping to make and this snow... it just puts me in the Christmas project-making mode!

The kids are out in the backyard already this morning and I'm realizing how much different this winter could potentially be. Last year they wouldn't go out alone. They wanted someone to be out there with them and Hannah was too young to really play out there. And I spent the winter expecting a baby or with a very new baby so I wasn't too compliant, I'm afraid. So, they didn't get out except for when Ryan went out to clear the snow from the driveway.

This morning they were so excited to see the snow everywhere so they gobbled down their breakfasts and began pulling on their snow pants, jackets, mittens, and hats. We discovered that Jack has no boots that fit (oops) so he pulled on a pair of wool socks and his mud boots without too much conviction and they all happily shuffled out into the snow. Hannah looked sort of hesitant and unsure, but off she went. Lucky her to have to have a big sister and a brother to take her outside. And lucky mom, as well!

I heard the dear hunter in this house take off bright and early this morning as I burrowed back into the quilts. Ah, the excitement of opening day (for him). There's a roast in the crock pot awaiting his arrival this evening. He's got several days off of work (he's pretty sure the best perk of working as a nurse in a female-dominated field is that none of them want hunting season off)!

So, I'm off to get this day going! Enjoy yours!

My fun trip to the dentist

2010-11-08T23:28:00.000-05:00

Since when did going to the dentist become a free for all for the lady with the sharp picky thing to tear apart your gums? Seriously. I've taken ibuprofen twice since visiting the dentist earlier today because my mouth aches so horribly from the hygienist stabbing my gums/teeth mercilessly over and over and over... Now I know why people dread going to the dentist. Never used to be that great of an issue for me. I've never especially loved going to the dentist (it's true, those types of people claim to exist), but it's never really been that bad. Until now. Owww!

It started out bad and kept getting worse. First, the hygienist started out all nice- making pleasant conversation, chit-chatting about the weather, blah, blah, blah. Then she interpreted the x-rays. And proceeded to point out that it appeared as if I had "cavities". As in plural. I gulped, balked, started to fidget nervously. I haven't had a cavity since I was 12 or so and I feel like I take decent care of my teeth. Then, she started with the whole sawing away at my teeth and gums with her ~~pick~~ machete for nearly 45 painful minutes. And then, just when I thought I could breathe a safe sigh of relief, the dentist came in and informed me my wisdom teeth need to go. The roots are all twisty and I'll need to go to the oral surgeon to have it done. Bonus, though, I only have three. There is no fourth one. Um... Yay?

He also informed me that I indeed did have cavities. Two. Between the teeth. Pretty sure all logic was lost on me at that point and I stammered something like, But I brush! After every meal! And I floss with those little flosser things, too!, as if that might make him change his mind or something and make him say, Oh! Well, in that case- forget it! No need to fill those cavities, if you're taking such great care! And forget about pulling the wisdom teeth as well!

Pretty sure I walked out of there like a wounded dog. Funny, because I was just in the dentist with Jack last week and I think he was tougher than me. He asked me before I left who was going to "take care of you" at the dentist and I assured him I could take care of myself. An hour after sitting in the chair, I was thinking I could have used some taking-care-of right about then.

But about those wisdom teeth... I'm scared. Like, not just average scared, but really-really-feel-like-I-want-to-puke-scared. The only experience I have with people getting them pulled was with my husband-then fiance- who had them pulled. I drove him to and from his appointment two hours away and I just remember being so appalled afterwards that he was in so much pain. He barely ate for 10 days he was in such pain. Now... I know guys can be kind be... how to say this nicely?...less than the tough macho men they think they are at times, but is- that, like, gulp- a normal occurrence with wisdom tooth extraction?

At least I have till January to worry about it. I think I'm going to go into denial till then. It's easier that way. {Yeah, I'm a wimp. And worrier, too. Welcome to my world.}

And the first place finish goes to...

2010-11-01T21:53:00.001-04:00

Hannah was the winner this year- she hit the bottom of her bucket first. The devastating (on her part) incident occurred at about six p.m.this evening when she peered into the bottom of her pumpkin and declared, "Uh-OH!" And I cheered. And then I noticed with dismay the other two buckets were approximately 50 and 95% full. Which means tomorrow (and several tomorrows to come) will be filled with a whole lot of Hannah trying to steal candy and Lydia and Jack having multiple fits over that fact.

New and original hiding spots will be sought out only to be discovered by Hannah's uncanny sense of discovery which we like to affectionately refer to as digging. Tears will fall, feet will stomp, tempers will flare. And then newer and more original hiding spots will be found once again. This could go on and on and on. Which is why I arrived at the perfect solution of pushing my healthy eating start date off (till an undetermined point in time) so that I can, uhhh, remedy the situation a bit.

Whoever came up with the whole trick-or-treating idea anyways? My guess is it was most definitely not a mom. I mean, can you just picture that? Hey, kids! I got a new idea, listen up! We're going to all gather together and strew wands and hats and wigs and masks all over the ENTIRE house. Then we're going to don those fireman suits and butterfly wings, smear paint all over our faces, grab a big bucket and go stand on peoples steps and yell until they give us candy! And then- just wait, here comes the good part- the next day you can consume that pail full of sugar at alarming rates until your bellies ache and your teeth feel as if they are going to fall out of your mouth. Until you are climbing on top of the piano and jumping off the back of the couch.

No. Not a mom. Now, a dad who conveniently gets called into work early on the day after Halloween and does not return until the children are tucked sweetly in bed in their sugar-induced comas? That's a much better wager.

Ah, well. It's all fun. I do enjoy Halloween. Watching the kids get excited, knowing how unbelievably awesome it feels to lug around a pail of candy, sorting out the candy bars, the licorice, the dum-dums... smelling that sweet mixture of chocolate and Skittles and Starburst whenever you look inside to decide if you're going to have some Whoppers or some M&Ms next... What could be better?

But, when the candy buzz finally does settle down a bit, let me say, I am exicted it's November! Excited to work on some Christmas projects, settle into the cold weather by keeping cozy inside, and reconnect with the forgotten art of reading. Quiet, dark evenings just seem made for reading. And knitting. And quilting. And cuddling up with the kids, listening to them tell stories. For whatever reason, November just seems like the start to all of that and I am so ready.

It's a two (or three) chocolate cupcake kind of day

2010-10-27T23:37:00.000-04:00

Approximately every twenty to thirty minutes since putting the baby to bed at seven o'clock this evening, she has woken from her extremely restless sleep wailing inconsolably. After four hours of this I think I've safely made a diagnosis of either one of two things. A) She's got a cold, or B) she's teething. Whew. That was a toughie. Either way it's been a real joy to feel completely helpless as to what she needs/wants. Brings me back to when she was only a few months old and made it her quest to confuse me with her crying jags each and every evening. I'm gearing up for a long night and tempted to just make a pot of coffee right now. Might be easier for everyone involved, I figure.

She started to get real pleasant right around the time I began throwing together one of my suppers of the stand-by, old-faithful sort (translation: has been made so many times since Ryan started the afternoon shift, I should have bought stock in the staples). The house was sailing (and I don't say this lightly, trust me), and she was wailing (I can't help it. Sorry. It's late and I'm simply amused.) Anyways at some point between charcoling the grilled cheese sandwiches and boiling the tomato soup over all over the top of the stove (oh, yes, I did!), I realized this unbelievably crazy day was nowhere near close to over: it was just beginning .

I looked around the kitchen in it's upturned state feeling completely overwhelmed. Tiny pieces of paper littered the floor where the kids had been chopping "mail" to deliver to every single imaginable spot in the house that might possibly resemble some minute characteristic of a "mailbox". It appeared as if the cupboards had thrown up all over the counters, for they resembled the aftermath of a multi-course meal preparation, not a three-ingredient-slap-together-insta-supper. The dishes had piled impossibly high after running the dishwasher just prior to lunch. And in my mind all I could do was continue repeating they're healthy, they're happy, they're healthy, they're happy.

So, my plans of a quiet, project-loaded evening dissipated quickly, just moments after I got the three older kids to bed and heard Adalie's first wails. And you know what? Big deal. The wind is howling, the baby is (let me type this quietly) finally sleeping again snuggled up next to me on the couch, and what in this crazy world could possibly matter more than to be right here in this moment instead of worrying about the things I didn't get accomplished today?

I cannot think of a single thing.

Oh, the secrets I keep...

2010-10-26T21:25:00.001-04:00

As Jack & I were sitting at the table doodling on a write-on/wipe-off board I began writing the first and middle names of everyone in our family. When I got to mine and Ryan's names, Jack looked confused.

"Whose are those names?" he asked
"Oh, that's Sarah and Ryan," I said.
"Oh. I guess I write it wrong," he replied tracing MOM and DAD through the air.
"No, that's right!" I assured him, "Ryan and Sarah are our real names. But you call us Mom and Dad."
"Oh," he answered seeming to understand, "Then what's my real name?"
It didn't help when I told him Jack was his real name. I'm pretty sure he still believes I'm hiding something.

Scawy Little Gohsts

2010-10-25T22:18:00.002-04:00

It all went something like this:
During super tonight, I let the kids know that Grandma was coming over later which prompted someone's bright idea of trying to scare her when she arrived. So they gobbled down their meals and raced off to their bedroom to hide out. And I decided not to tell them she wouldn't be here for another two hours.

So, a while later I was sitting in the living room when two odd shaped characters came "OooOoOoo"-ing down the stairs. Clad in white blankets, they proceeded to march around the room giggling and snickering between their OooOos.

"Scawy!" Exclaimed the two year old clamoring for a safe place next to me for a moment before deciding to join in the parade herself.

But, white blankets we were out of and so a blue blanket was used instead.

The two white ghosts peeked out from under their drapes and skeptically eyed the new blue ghost.

"Um," said one carefully, "Did you ever hear of a blue ghost?"
"No," said the other, "How about she's just a fake ghost."

And so the three paraded around a bit more before the tallest of them pointed out that her blanket did not reach the floor like the other two.

"Oh no!" She exclaimed, "My legs are sticking out! Now Grandma is going to know I'm not a real ghost! She's going to know it's me!"

So a quick swap up of blankets was done to find a better fit. And once again my house was filled with three ghosts. Unfortunately, by the time Grandma arrived the blankets were shed on the floor and they were on to something else. I'm sure, however, she would have never known it was them!

I suppose the time has come to dig out the Halloween box and let them have a little more fun for the next few days. Where, oh where did I lose October?!

You might want to sit down for this one, folks

2010-10-24T00:36:00.000-04:00

Do you know what you learn in the first month and a half of kindergarten? Besides walking in lines and taking turns and writing your name with one capital letter at the beginning all lowercase after? You learn to count to 100. Now, okay. I know what all of you mothers with older, much more intelligent children are thinking with every due right- Sarah. Counting to 100 is really not that big of a deal. It happens, like, ALL the time. Everyday in fact. Kids even, like, add and subtract numbers to EQUAL 100. And then, they multiply and divide by 100 and find the square root of 100 and use it in complicated algorithims like it's no big deal. Well, true. But when your kid learned to walk he wasn't the first either to do that either. Heh.

So, I did not know this. But then again, I don't remember much about kindergarten except that #1) my teacher was really old (in fact, she's the same age now as she was back then- isn't that amazing?) and #2) I once proudly brought my barbie dressed in a pink sweatsuit that my mom made to school. That was fun. And... and then... wait... Nope, that's it- that's all I remember.

Anyways, last night I was reading the letter that came home in Lydia's Friday folder and as I'm reading I see something along the lines of... kids will be getting assessed on letter recognition and counting to 100... Halloween costumes should be in bag with the kids name on it for next Friday.... HOLD ON, back up while I choke on my coffee. Counting to 100? Last I checked the kid could count all the way to 11. Okay, so she wasn't real advanced for her age or lining up for a spot on the quiz bowl team just yet, but hey- 11 wasn't a bad start to her school career. But, 100? Ha. Let's not get overzealous, now okay? Her recitations went more like 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 13, 19, 23... um... 12?

100. Pshaw. Must have been a typo. Now, 10? Yeah, that she could master. Like a pro!

Then again, maybe it wasn't. Maybe I should have been more on top of this. This could prove to be a bit of a problem when "assessment" time came around. You know, next week? So... as we were eating breakfast this morning I casually brought it up. Didn't want to make her feel all inadequate and come right out and ask if she could count to that astronomically high number or anything so I just vaguely asked her to start counting.

And somewhere between 25 and 30 I asked, How high can you count anyways? To which she smugly replied, "A hundred!"

Huh. Who would've thought. So, she proceeded to rattle off the numbers- yep, all the way to 'a hundred'.

"And you know what," she continued, "That's like the highest number ever!"

Well, imagine that: my kid can count to the highest number ever. What can they possibly teach her next? (I mean. Besides counting higher than 100 or wrting actual words instead of random phrases such as "WPBTRDE!")

Amazing.

My little clown

2010-10-21T23:05:00.000-04:00

My two year old is learning the art of teasing from her older siblings (and dad) quite well. And, when it comes out of her mouth, it's even more comical than it would otherwise be.

Today, I had plans to go out with the two little girls after the kindergartner got on the bus. Ryan had already taken Jack out so it was just me and the girls. So, I'm getting ready to go and Hannah comes running to find me and says, "Mommy! Dad took yo caw!" (My car, for those of you who can't translate two-year-old-speak).

"He did?" I say with surprise moving toward a window to check. This wasn't the plan.

Just as I get to the window she yells out, "Just kiddin'!"

Oh, dear. She's been on a roll, lately: discovering how easy it is to hand the teasing/taunting right back to her older sibs. And I am amused. Truthfully, I've been waiting for this day to arrive- the older two have had it coming for awhile now.

Oh, and since I'm discussing her- might I add, here- she decided this week she's done with diapers. Just like that. Not the typical way things have happened in this house (if you all recall my struggle less than a year ago...!) Imagine that- no bribes!- I could get used to this.

J & L were a bit disappointed that the snowflakes didn't fly today as forecasted. L was certain beyond a doubt it would snow because her teacher said it might. And the boy just wants to shovel snow- he's waiting for snow to play in. I, on the other hand, cannot relate. I did clean the kitchen to Chris Groban's Christmas CD the other day, however. (But that does not mean I am ready for snow.)

I worked on Lydia's quilt some more today and as I did I marveled at the fact that I could possibly win a contest for the longest start-to-finish project ever. The fabric was picked out when pink was the highest color on her radar. So I chose fabrics on the pink, green, and teal theme. And now? Now she wants to paint her room red becuase red is her all time, no contest favorite. That's what I get for taking years to complete this project. But I'm exicted to get it done now- even if it is all the wrong colors.

I tend to get too interupted with quicker projects like this:

I originally did this pattern for myself when Adalie was born, but the bag was a bit too large for me to comfortably carry around for too long. So, I adjusted the pattern down a bit and here's the updated model. But this one was not for me. Kind of made me want to make myself another one, though. After the quilt, of course.

Glurch!

2010-10-15T13:34:00.001-04:00

I remember my sister K talking about some slime-stuff that occupied her kids for hours and- needing something to keep my kids kind of on the quiet side while my hubby got some sleep- I pulled up the recipe and mixed up some... GLURCH! Remember that Gak-stuff you could buy? Maybe you still can, haven't tried to purchase it since I was about 10. Anyways, it's just like that.

And, I kid you not... The stuff has been occupying H & J since big sis left for school.

It's smashable,

And slimy...

And all around good clean, cheap entertainment.

Want some at your house?

Here's the recipe:

Bowl #1:

1/2 cup Elmer's glue

1/2 cup cold water

Mix together with spoon until glue is dissolved in water.

Bowl #2:

2 tsp. Borax

3/4 cup warm water

Mix together with fingers to fully dissolve Borax.

Pour bowl #1 into bowl #2. Reach your hands in and pull out the glurch! There will be excess water. Just knead it around to get extra water out. After the extra water is out, it should be slimy but shouldn't easily stick to your hands. If it does, I don't know what you did wrong. The second batch I made I tried to add food coloring and it didn't turn out quite as well. Or it could have been the dollar store glue. Not sure.

This stuff can be stored in an airtight container and used again.

Just make sure your kids don't eat it!

Have fun!

Oops

2010-10-11T14:47:00.000-04:00

Hah! I apologize for the previous post that was full of spelling errors in the first sentence! I read over the main part before posting, but added that info in at the top afterwards and apparently I was in such a hurry to get that post up before the cut-off I didn't finish checking the spelling. Oops. I corrected the errors now, but that's a great way to enter a contest, don't you think?

Creativity in Children

2010-10-11T11:03:00.001-04:00

The following post is an entry to a contest sponsored by cottonbabies.com in response to the question:

How do you encourage a creative, artistic spirit in your baby, toddler or young child?

Part of encouraging children to discover their own creativeness means allowing them the freedom to become who they will. With four children between the ages of eight months and five years, it’s no small statement to say they are all uniquely different in their personalities. That’s obvious, and any mom can tell you the same thing. What was surprising to me when I first became a mom, however, was to discover these personalities were visible right from birth. The baby that was so relaxed right from the start, for example, is still the one who grabs any chance she can to cuddle with her dad or I. And contrarily, the one who- as a baby- burst into tears when a stranger came in her sight is still sensitive to new situations today.

How, then, does a parent encourage such ranging personalities to grow together while becoming their own individual who realizes their own talents? In our house it’s not fancy toys or electronic gadgets that accomplish this. It’s not constant direction from me, but it’s giving them the foundation of an idea and letting them build upon it. It’s giving my son a pan full of flour and letting him figure out what to do with it. And then, it’s standing back and letting the floor become covered in a fine dusting of flour while he ploughs it into make believe snow banks with his trucks. It’s giving a child a lump of dough while you’re making bread to let her do what she will with it. And it’s not worrying that the little clumps of dough she formed are bumpy and too small. It’s letting her see the results of her work and being proud of her little accomplishments.

I have learned one of the most important things about raising kids is to not worry about the mess that results. There was a time when the mess worried me. I was convinced I wasn’t a good enough mom if the dishes weren’t done and the laundry was piling up. And I would feel guilty for not being this ideal homemaker I dreamed of being. Time and children have changed that, and while a clean house is still a dream, I’m okay with the mess. Allowing children to make a mess and get their hands dirty is one of the greatest ways to encourage creativity in them. It’s when the kitchen floor is covered in play dough or the table is a mess of brightly colored paint splashes, when their true spirits become visible.

One of the greatest rewards as a mother is watching my children discover their own strengths. Letting their imaginations make a town out of wooden blocks, a hunting camp out of blankets strung across chairs, a school bus out of pillows. These are the things that get them thinking, spark their creativity, and make them discover the things that bring them joy.

So much of what we become is the characteristics we were born with given a lifetime of opportunity to expand. Rigorous schedules and extracurricular activities at frighteningly young ages are not the things that bring about the joy of childhood in our children. But spending time with them- coloring at the kitchen table, laying on your backs under the stars, or pointing out cloud animals marching across the sky- these are things that open up children to their own happiness.

Creativity is not something that is taught to our children, but rather something that is discovered by them. Give them the opportunity to make messes and mistakes, bad decisions and wrong turns. Only through the process of trial and error can they truly discover what they are capable of doing. And how exciting it is to watch that discovery happen.

So perhaps I have a slight addiction to fabric

2010-10-07T23:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday as I was browsing across some blogs, I came across a really neat idea that involved transferring a few lines of a written letter to a pillow by scanning in the written work, blowing it up, and printing it out on transfer paper. So cool. It would be really cool if you had, like, old love letters to work with, I think.

Well then today while wandering through a gift shop I saw these great wall signs that had many random thoughts on them- kind of like informal rules about life? So as I was busy scheming up how to make them, I thought- how cool would it be to write my kids letters but then instead of putting them on pillows paint them on something that could hang on their walls. No, they can't read yet- but by the time this plan is put into action they'll probably be going through chapter books. So if I get a start on it now there is the possibility they could receive these as gifts, like, when they graduate high school or something.

I do want to make one for my living room, though. No love letters, however. Just some random thoughts. I'm real good at random meaningless thoughts in case you were in doubt. Getting projects completed... well, not so much.

This morning my sister called (yes, the one who lured me to Mqt a few weeks ago with that great 30% off coupon) and informed me of the sale going on at the quilt house: 20% everything in the store.Well, now. Who can pass up an opportunity to seek that out? I mean, even if you don't need anything 20% off is 20% off so you have to just look, right? I'm pretty sure I would save all kinds of money if I didn't have my own personal bargain hunter informing me of all the great sales going on. Yes, you read that correctly. No, really. Everyone should have a personal bargain hunter- especially one that says "I'll be there in forty five minutes" and whisks you away from your motherly duties for a fun day out.

Anyways. I had a great time at the fabric shop. I love when I'm standing at the counter waiting for my fabric to be cut and the lady wielding the scissors across the beautiful prints says, "So what are you making?" It always results in me going blank and uttering something like, "Um... Uh, well I'm not entirely sure yet. But, I do have some ideas," followed by a few very convincing nods. Apparently some people get patterns first and then shop for the fabric second. I prefer the 'oh-this-is-soooo-cute-I-think-I'll-just-get-a-half-a-yard' method. I am pretty sure, however, the pattern first process would be much more effective. Might have to try that some time. But then, that would probably result in me leaving there with only what I need. And what fun would that be?

Oops. Just realized my hubby is probably going to read this. So in that case- forget the whole last paragraph, dear, I am always extremely conservative when it comes to fabric shopping. I only purchase what I know for sure without a doubt I might have the opportunity to possibly, someday, if the correct situation allows... find some especially great use for each carefully selected piece of fabric.

Trust me. Really.

Also on the agenda today was a stop at Goodwill. I found a bag stuffed full of iron on transfers in prints of flowers and miscellaneous designs. Again, their purpose has not exactly been determined, but I will think of something. Eventually. I might actually use some of the basic ones to put on fabric for Lydia to do stitching on. I remember doing those when I was about her age. That might be a fun thing for her to do for Christmas presents.

Speaking of kid's projects... Anyone have any projects for a four year old boy? He's so bored when big sis goes off to school in the afternoons and little sis is napping. It's only October and my ideas are running low- any suggestions?

Saturday Morning Musings

2010-10-02T09:38:00.000-04:00

This morning...

I made an eight-cup pot of coffee
And I'm the only one who drinks the stuff around here
My kids are puppies.
Their names are Patty, Craig, and Beah. (Take no offense if you have the same name- trust me, it's an honor.)
The washer is humming along with the hope that for a few minutes I can win the laundry war. For a few minutes. That's all.
My husband is gone to the grocery store. He does the majority (ok, all) of the grocery shopping around here.
That's usually a good thing, but sometimes I think I should take it over again...
We are right in the middle of Ryan's long stretch of work
And, oh am I looking forward to his long stretch (6 days!) off next week!
And I'm kind of secretly hoping he doesn't pick up too many extra shifts during that time.
I'm feeling optimistic that I might finish some projects today.
I need to find somewhere to visit tonight that has a sauna as our bathtub is having leaking issues and the kids ~~desperately~~ sort of need a bath before Sunday
I'm looking forward to hopefully visiting with my niece at some point today
And my coffee needs to be refilled.

Have a great Saturday and a happy fall weekend!

Baby Booties {New Etsy Listing}

2010-09-27T20:20:00.000-04:00

Remember those fun little girly things I was talking about? Here is one of the finished products. I have a few more pairs in various stages of production in different prints/styles. But here's the first real finished product:

These were so much fun to sew, I can't wait to do some more! They are available in three sizes (not suitable for a walker as the bottoms are made of the same cotton fabric as the exterior.) The other pairs I'm working on have a Velcro closure rather than the ties. I will be listing those as soon as they're finished. Thanks for looking!

See them and my other items in my etsy shop.

Projects & Plans

2010-09-23T23:54:00.000-04:00

I can't wait to show you what I'm working on right now! They are little and girlie and so much fun... But, I will refrain and keep you in great suspense until I can show you an actual finished product. Providing it, uh, turns out that is. There is nothing like a rainy fall day to get me excited about new projects. Yes, this after I just declared in my last post that I'm basically a lost-cause on the project-front. Ahem. I change with the weather. Nah funny!! As Hannah would declare.

Speaking of little miss princess, she's still awake upstairs in her crib. I just went and chatted with her for a few minutes, rubbed her back, and highly suggested she close her eyes. She's not buying it. She just grinned at me and wrinkled her nose and proceeded to tell me there was a bug on the ceiling. That's what I get for trying to squeeze a nap out of her at 2 p.m.

And then there's the littlest princess. She's been having a rough evening over here. I'm quite certain big bad tooth #1 is about to make it's appearance and that's leaving her rather confused and sad. Ah, all the things they must go through. I also think she's really wanting to crawl. She's not pushing herself to her knees or type of advanced movement like that (remember- the last babes in this house didn't take steps untill 18 months so our expectations are low). However, she's not so content to just sit and play like she used to be. My babies always go through these little mood swings right before they learn something new. Or, then again it could be the tooth thing.

Anyways. I'm going to bed so I can wake up early tomorrow and drink my coffee before the morning mayhem occurs. Hah. It's always a nice thought anyways.

This & That

2010-09-20T22:15:00.000-04:00

I wish I could say the spaces between my blog posts are filled with all sorts of intelligent things in which I'm just dying to fill you in on. But no real excitement here- unless you consider the simple mundane tasks of keeping a house together interesting- picking up toys, folding clothes, washing clothes, picking up toys, washing dishes, folding clothes, washing clothes, picking up toys, picking up toys, picking up toys... Why do I do that again? Jack informed me one night we didn't need to pick up because they were just going to make a mess again in the morning. I had no good response.

Last week I started a yoga class and I'm enjoying it so much. I find myself wishing it were every evening rather than the one or two a week it is. I couldn't wait to slip out the door tonight- leaving Ryan to corral the kids into their beds. Just doing something for myself feels so good after being pulled in everyone else's direction all day long. I do yoga on my own at home but it doesn't compare to actually getting out of the house- I think that's half the enjoyment right there.

On Saturday my mom, sister, neice, Adalie, and I took a day-trip in which we were able to hit a few garage sales, a few re-sale shops, an extremely juicy quilt shop that I was unaware existed (I was able to restrain myself- this time), and some other shopping as well. I had good luck at one of the garage sales- scored some things for my living room- the big item being a large black shelf with pegs on it. Oooh, I can't wait to get that up!

Oh! I do have exciting news, actually. My sister had her baby today so I've got a new little niece! So happy for them that she is here. I wish we were just a bit closer so I could run over and see her, but for now I'll have to settle for the picture that was texted to me this afternoon. She's a sweetheart!

So, what's on your agenda for this week? I'm hoping to get some sewing done. Funny as it sounds- I think when I was going to school I actually got more done around here as far as projects go. Having a schedule does that to you: makes you commit to a time frame. So, maybe it's time to start searching for a job. Or perhaps I just need to dive into a really good project to get me going!

Friends Like These

2010-09-12T00:24:00.000-04:00

Everyone needs a set of friends like mine: the ones that walk you through life changes, reminisce with you about things that happened a good twenty years ago, lift you over bumps, and bust out in a laughing fit before you even have a chance to tell the funny part of the story just because they know you that well.

You know the kind of friends I'm talking about.

These are the ones who were with you before the drama of middle school and were still there for you when it was through. Friends who were there long before boyfriends and husbands and kids- and can remind you about the girl you once were when life makes you forget. These are the ones who you know your dumbest moves, your saddest moments, your triumphs- and even if they weren't always right there to give you a hug they were cheering you on in their hearts.

These are the types of friends who can give you a look and you know what they're saying better than if they had actually spoken out loud. They share your memories, your dessert, the stories of your lives. They give you the best even if it means taking something less for themselves. They get you- sometimes better than you get yourself.

They're the ones who go out for coffee with you and no matter what it's never quite long enough. And as you drive home you think, Oh, I hope we can do that again real soon! And when, sometimes weeks or even months down the road, you do get together again- you jump right back in to the moment where you left off and start up again without missing a beat.

Thanks girls. What a fun night out that was!

Is "missrouted" just a fancy word for LOST?

2010-09-08T22:19:00.000-04:00

After two days of school Lydia has reached the conclusion that "School is soooooo much fun! Way more fun than I even thought it would be!" So I'm feeling much better than I was the other evening just knowing she's excited about going each day. Jack, on the other hand, isn't so excited to see her go.

"I don't like when Lydia goes off to school," he complained today, going on to say he didn't know what to do. I suggested he color, play with his cars, pull out his farm set. But all of that held no great appeal without his constant playmate around and the little girls napping. Luckily, I remembered I had purchased a set of Lego Duplo blocks a long time ago from a garage sale and was able to unearth them fairly quickly from a corner of my room. That was all the entertainment he needed for the afternoon.

In other events around here- I'm starting to get a bit concerned about a package that was supposed to be delivered several days ago. I caved in and ordered a couple more diapers when cotton babies had their seconds sale going on last week. Hannah's in no real danger of potty training any time soon and I was thinking this would make it easier to get by with both little girls in diapers. So. I've been tracking the package online, the free shipping was quick, it made it to the next door state... and then it stopped. And after about a day of nothing the new status that popped up yesterday morning was "missent", with the description reading something along the lines of "Your item was misrouted. Every effort is being made to correct the mistake. Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day. Please check again later." And then, nothing. No further updates, no more info just, missent. Which, according to my spell check isn't even a real word and maybe, just maybe, the word they were really searching for here was "lost"?

Uh. Okay. So, I'm picturing this thing in some rural postage-stamp-sized post office on the other side of the US. Or maybe bouncing along in the back of a two-seater plane headed out to some desolate town in Alaska. Or perhaps it's in a jet- flying over the Atlantic ocean to an entirely different country. It could be weeks before this is resolved. But, not to worry. Remember- every effort is being made to correct the mistake so that makes it all better. In the meantime, I'll just keep refreshing my browser and looking at that daunting missent status while I drive myself crazy.

But I'm fine with that, really I am. Perfectly fine. Just in case you were wondering.

Anyways. Tomorrow is Thursday and Ryan is off for the next two days. And that, my friends, means projects are going to be happening around here. We're in the process of rearranging the kids bedrooms and I'm not sure anything we do is going to be ideal, but we'll go with it. We've got two kids rooms- one is extremely small and the other is moderately small. So with Adalie still occupying a pack-n-play in our bedroom at 7 months old, we're trying to figure out a good way to get her into one of the kid-rooms. The great plan involves building a loft in the extremely small room, putting new paint on the wall of both rooms, and shuffling kids around until something works.

If all else fails it should prove to be entertaining at least.

Kindergarten Butterflies

2010-09-06T23:36:00.000-04:00

The last weekend of summer was a mild one for us. We visited family, hung out at home, and had an easy few days gearing up to the start of a new schedule at this house. Big day in this house tomorrow- our little girl is starting kindergarten!

She's got her first-day-of-school-outfit laid out on at the foot of her bed, her backpack waiting innocently by the door, and despite the nerves that surfaced for a bit at bedtime last night, she is more than ready to go. And suddenly, I'm not quite so ready to see her go! How is it possible we've already come to this day?! I will hold it together, I will hold it together, I will hold it together... But I'm not making any guarantees as to what happens after that bus drives away tomorrow- just so we're completely clear on that.

While the days have dwindled down leading up to this special moment in her life, I've wanted to just slow things down a bit. I know how excited she is- and trust me I'm right there excited with her- but hello! she's growing up too fast! I do not say this because it's a cliche- but becuase I'm wondering with sincerity- where did those years go? I have the grounding realization once again how fast children grow, how quick time passes.

As she's counted down the days, I've ticked through the questions surfacing in my mind: Did I do a good enough job? Did I teach her all she needs to know up to this point? Is she going to be okay? There is no doubt in my mind- I will continue to ask these questions over and over again as the years go by. It's part of being a mom, I am sure of that. And while I keep reminding myself this is only half-day kindergarten and not college three states away- my heart doesn't know the difference.

Yesterday afternoon Lydia and I went out for a few hours to get some school things for her. Ryan suggested I take her out for lunch and so her and I did just that. Because I've never gone out to eat with just her, I found myself pleasantly surprised when she slid into the booth right up next to me rather than occupying the opposite side. There was so much to appreciate in that moment.

She's ready. She's more than ready. And I will be too, I know I will. But right now, before everything changes and life moves forward into an entirely new direction- right now while the house is silent and everyone sleeps- I'm letting my heart have the quiet (and, yes, tearful) moment it needs. And then when tomorrow comes I'll be as brave as I know she's going to be.

But for now: that polka-dot backpack parked by the door? Well, it's going to make me go through an entire box of Kleenex, I'm telling you.

Seriously

2010-08-29T22:14:00.000-04:00

I truly meant to get out to the camp today, knowing the chances are slipping away. But, it was so nice and cool in the living room with the air pumping full blast through our trusty little window unit. And Ryan was working. And the baby was a little on the fussy side with a runny nose (and maybe some teeth on the way.) And I wasn't completely feeling 100% either. So, I played my mean-mom card and informed my very disappointed children we would not be heading out to the lake as originally requested by them on the way home from church.

Right now I am in the prcoess of backing up my files on my computer. I'm not entirely sure I know what I'm doing, but I'm winging it. When I started it up this evening it informed me that there were errors and could not start. And I panicked a little. Okay, so little is a little bit of an exaggeration, but I'm trying to play it nonchalant here because of this teeny-tiny admission: I've never backed up my files before. Never-never. And I've had this computer for approximately 3 years. I'm not exactly a dare-devil, but this in my books kind of classifies. Gives me sweaty palms and everything. (This happens. Like when I'm real nervous and such? Like when I'm standing somewhere way up high and I look down and... Okay... nevermind.)

Anyways. Problem number 1 occurred when my computer would not recognize that I'd put a disc in the drive. Uh. No clue how to fix that problem- if anyone out there has any suggestions for me, bring 'em on. So, when I say I'm backing up my files- they are only being backed up to a D drive. Does this help me at all if my whole computer was to crash? Or fail to start? Or is it totally useless? I do plan to back these up to cds or dvds or whatever (I'm so intelligent with computer-related stuff as you can clearly see), but that has to wait until my hubby can figure out what's wrong with the dvd drive. But I'm just doing this to make myself feel better (remember? sweaty palms?) Yeaaaah.

So, I'm going to just sit here and pretend it's doing something. Makes me feel better than imagining all the pictures I've taken and not printed in the last year completely lost... Oooh. That would really not be good.

Other than that... I'm working on a balanced life. Example: I did yoga tonight. And then I ate ice cream. Honestly if I had to I'm pretty sure I could survive completely on ice cream. I usually don't have the stuff in the freezer because I struggle with trying to recall why it's bad for me to eat a whole container at once. You think I'm exaggerating, but sadly I am not. Hah. Not. At. All. Thankfully, there's only enough for one more indulgence and I promise I'll wait till tomorrow. Shhh... I won't tell you when I opened it.

Okay, that's two not-so-fantastic admissions in one night. That's enough.

How did you enjoy this hot day?

August Thoughts

2010-08-24T22:47:00.001-04:00

After spending a much-needed weekend away with my husband and no kids I have been settled back into reality. I don't even want to count how many years it's been since he and I got away together without a car seat or four in the back. Completely enjoyed every moment! Of course, the joy of it was punctuated by the fact that I found out I'd passed my boards the day before we left. What a relief to finally have that over and done with. And no, I do not yet have a job, a possibility, or even an application. But, just to have my boards done makes me happy. At the moment, I am content to just be where I am. Whatever will be will be.

I'm gearing up for fall over here.
  Excited to see the days cooling off and the nights carrying a chill.
    Ready, even, to find some sort of schedule.
      Hoping my baby decides that this season she will actually begin to sleep.
         Realizing this probably won't happen based on her record.
      And being okay with spending much of my days holding and playing with her.
        And, of course, readying myself for the fact that I'll be sending my oldest off on the school bus in two weeks time while remembering an August six years ago when we moved into this house awaiting her birth.

Feeling just a wee bit reflective tonight. Letting my heart travel where it will as I look back over the photographic memories of a summer we so fully enjoyed while I can't help peeking ahead at what's coming next.

How about you? Squeezing out the last drops of summer in a fun getaway, a family camping trip, or an afternoon at the beach? Feeling ready for cooler days and colored leaves, apple cider and sewing projects?

Whatever it is you are doing to enjoy summer's fading light- embrace it. Enjoy it.

Iced Coffee

2010-08-13T18:25:00.001-04:00

**UPDATE: Turns out the following recipe is actually BETTER if you omit the step of freezing it and just put it in a blender with some ice cubes. Add a little chocolate syrup and it's just like a McDonald's Frappe!***

I don't remember if I posed this recipe last summer, but even if I did I think it deserves to be posted again. Because if you happen to be a coffee-addict like myself you might find yourself struggling to get in your daily quota of caffeine on these hot August days. And that just can't be. Not with a house full of wild, wound up children and temperatures creeping higher will I surrender the one thing that keeps me sane.

So here it is (recipe courtesy of allrecipes.com)

Ingredients

3 cups hot, strong brewed coffee
1 1/2 cups sugar
4 cups milk
2 cups half-and-half cream
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Directions

In a freezer-safe container, stir coffee and sugar; until sugar is dissolved. Refrigerate until thoroughly chilled. Add the milk, cream and vanilla; freeze. Remove from the freezer several hours before serving. Chop mixture until slushy; serve immediately.

Sip and enjoy. Sip and enjoy.

Ahhh. That's better. Let the kids pull the filter out of the vacuum cleaner and smear chocolate frosting from one end of the kitchen to another. Watch as they pull out every piece of dress up clothing and throw them down the stairs. Sit there and slurp away as they slide down the stairs and pile into a heap amongst the pile of dress up clothes. Just chill.

And pour yourself another iced coffee.

Blueberry Pickin'

2010-08-04T23:39:00.001-04:00

I almost panicked a few days ago when I heard there would be no more picking after this past Sunday at the local blueberry hot spot. Almost thought I'd have to actually pick my blueberries by {audible gasp} by hand. I know! You see, last year I became obnoxiously spoiled when I discovered the ability to pick several (as in, oh 50 or so) pounds of blueberries in just as many minutes using a blueberry rake. Ah, the ease and instant gratification (I'm just a child, really. Never quite truly learned to looove berry picking- just the results.) I only felt a momentary twinge of guilt the first time I tried raking blueberries-- it felt a bit unnatural not to bend over in the blueberry patch for hours to fill a couple of pails. And then the guilt passed; raking them was oh, so criminally quick.

So back to the begining- when I heard the season was in and out in a week I rationalized with myself that if I wanted berries this year I'd have to do things the old way and gear myself with a few ice cream buckets and the better part of a day. Then I talked to my sister who informed me there might be (drum roll, please) one more day of picking at the blueberry farm.

And, so for my giddy conclusion: I got my 47 pounds of berries in about 47 minutes much to my heart's content. Most of them went right into the freezer, many went into three little mouths, some were left out for eating, and others went directly into a pie... which, if my husband doesn't come home from work quickly, might soon disappear.

I love having a freezer full of berries. Sadly, there are no local strawberries in there this year so I'll just have to get the preservative infested frozen ones from the super center that never quits supplying all our major necessities. We'll probably survive and I'll probably discover how easy that way is too- much to the dismay of my inner domesticated homemaker's voice that seems to get quieter with each baby.

The busier life becomes, the more I realize I can only make room for a certain amount of passions- spending insane amounts of time housecleaning and berry picking do not top off that list. Sewing, baking, writing, and spending the day with my family at the beach tend to win out. Oh, and eating- preferably ice cream. And that's what's important in life, right? Not pretending to be what you wish you could be but just going with what you are. If you hang around me long enough you'll soon discover I invent all sorts of neat little rationalizations to combat my guilt. It's a coping mechanism. Really.

And now, I'm off to (No, I'm not going finish up the pie! Shame on you!) ahem, I'm off to search for a superb blueberry muffin recipe for tomorrow's breakfast. Fresh blueberry muffins and coffee... Mmm.. I could turn into a morning person, you just watch.

Becuase in January, I'll need to remember this

2010-07-30T00:44:00.001-04:00

Ah, I love this lake. It's impossible not to feel alive sitting on the shore. Sometimes the waves come tumbling in on top of one another, fighting for their way. Other times they seem to sneak in, whispering secrets that silence the chatter within, begging you to listen, commanding you to stop everything else and just be still.

Beautiful colors of summer... Sweet and fresh.

Mmm... Nap, anyone? If I can burrow in quietly maaayyybe no one will know where I am.

My kids are getting older. Lydia, especially, wants to pick berries wherever we go lately. I wish we could say we've picked enough for jam or even just a single pie. And in truth, I suppose we have. But we eat them as fast as we pick them so all we have to show are red stained fingers and bellies full of berries.

We've been doing a lot of touring around our area this summer, and even though we're seeing places we've grown up knowing as well as our own neighborhoods, I never fail to be amazed. Such beauty sits all around us. Summer moves so quickly (we even have a countdown going on courtesy of our anxious kindergartner), but we're taking the time to enjoy each moment we can.

The laundry needs folding, the floor needs scrubbing. But, the sun is shining and the lake is calling. And, everything else can wait.

Go Fish!

2010-07-24T22:29:00.000-04:00

When we woke up to rain this morning, I kind of hoped Lydia & Jack might decide to forgo the kid's fishing derby I promised them earlier this week. When I asked what they wanted to do (you know, because of the drizzly rain and all) they looked at me like I was suggesting they just curl right up and go back to bed when I gave them the option of not going. They were most definitely still interested. Good little fishermen- not scared of a little rain like their mom.

The rain came down steadily at first, but the fish were being pulled out of the pond at great speeds. In fact, as I sat in the warmth of the vehicle with a sleeping baby and a toddler who was content- for the moment- to watch through the rain-streaked window, I assumed they would continue that rate all day. Which was why I must admit I did not hop out to capture Lydia's two 6 and 7 inchers on camera. Those were the biggest she caught- the rest were itty-bitties. I did manage to take a picture of Jack's "big one"- albeit, a blurry picture. Sigh. So wasn't in the picture taking mood today. Sometimes I really am just too content to watch life unfold rather than catching each moment. And then again, sometimes I should really make more of an effort to catch a few of those moments. Ah, well.

Anyways. Ryan and I both agreed on the way over (around 10 a.m.) the kids would be bored and ready to leave after a half hour or so. Again, we heavily underestimated their enthusiasm for fishing. At noon, they were still going strong and we had lunch there. The local sportsman's club puts on this annual fishing derby each summer and they gave out free lunch, ice cream sandwiches, freezies, and a bag of candy and a couple little prizes to each kid that shows up. Then, there's prizes for the biggest catch, littlest catch, and a large array of runner ups. They also do several random drawings in which Jack scored a fishing pole.

Overall, it was quite the fun experience for the kids. Lydia was hoping we could go back and fish some more this evening... I think their Dad's got a couple of good fishing partners coming up!

It's All Greek To Her! (Hah! I crack myself up)

2010-07-13T21:33:00.000-04:00

I really have to quit using idioms around my oh-so-literal children. I don't think of myself as someone who goes around spouting out these types of comparisons on a regular basis, but a couple of times in the past few days I've been called out on phrases such as "happy as a clam" or "hungry as a horse" by my ever-questioning, can't-hardly-wait-for-school five year old.

Well, tonight I was settling the kids in bed when Jack decided (shocker!) he needed to run for one more drink of water. No fail, every night this kid has to jump back out of bed right after he's tucked in- which inevitably starts the whole process of tucking the blanket under the chin, tight bear hug, and a round of "love yous" all over.

Hurry, I told him. So he tears out f the room on a mission for that much-needed glass of water (and oh, how this kid reminds me of myself sometimes!) he runs right into the kiddy kitchen set in the hallway and crash! down come the plastic pots and colorful cups. Unfazed, he hops over them and continues the dash to the bathroom.

"He's like a bull in a china shop," I commented absently.

"Like a what?" asked Lydia curious at this verbal image I'd suddenly presented.

I set about trying to explain myself with very little success. I tried to explain what a bull was first of all- did my best impression of one stomping across her room. And then I tried to explain what a china shop might be- It's um... It's a place where fancy dishes are sold? Hello. That's what I would imagine it to be, but I guess I never really pictured one until that moment.

So there I am painting it all together for her- delicate dishes teetering on glass shelves and all- and imitating a bull crashing through that. And so that brings up the questions of why a bull would be in a china shop and what else does a china shop sell anyways? So I try to explain that statements such as this one are sometimes spoken to compare one thing to another which, uh (sorry, can't help myself) flies right over her head and out the window.

Well, by then Jack had returned, they were both tucked in, and as I was going out the door Lydia says, "Mom can we go to a china shop someday?"

Oh, sure why not.We'll have a field day. Seeing as china shops are a dime a dozen and all. Should we take Jack the Bull along? And the rest of the herd of elephants as well? Piece of cake, I'm sure.

The Best Days of Summer...

2010-07-12T22:03:00.003-04:00

I'm finally home and ooh, does it feel good!

We spent a week at my parent's camp (and practically the two weeks before that when my sisters and their families were there). So to actually be home with no real agenda for the next week or so feels really nice to this self-proclaimed homebody!

I loved our vacation week there as I always do every summer, and once again I found myself declaring last night that the week went by way too fast! Why do we always choose the quickest week of the summer for our stay there? I don't get it.

Yet, after spending the morning packing up and cleaning, and then all afternoon and evening unpacking and washing clothes, I'm beat and content to be in my own home . I wanted to get some pictures up on this post, but that's just going to have to wait for another day when I can catch my breath.

The kids fell asleep swiftly and soundly tonight tucked into their own beds and lulled to sleep, I'm sure, by the memories of a perfect week swirling through their minds: jumping off the dock, running across the beach to the lake, gooey s'mores for bedtime snacks every night, and their first successful fishing expedition. Even the baby turned in at 7 p.m.- all the fresh air caused her to bump up her bedtime by a couple of hours this week.

And by the pleasantly exhausted way I feel right now there's a really good chance I'll be turning in early as well- all those late nights around the bonfire have caught up with me. But, oh... I'm already missing the sweet lullaby of the waves against the shore!

Summer Days... and the livin' is easy

2010-06-30T11:03:00.000-04:00

We've been dashing off to the lakeshore every single day for the past week and a half and I've hardly had a moment to sit down and turn on the computer-- just the way summer should be! My little 7 a.m. risers are still in bed at five minutes to eleven! I think the midnight returns from the camp have finally caught up to them. Yet, we're off again today for another afternoon of visiting, sunshine-soaking, and maybe some swimming if the temps decide to go up a bit. So sad that my sister and her family must return home tomorrow! But, oh how we've enjoyed thier time here!

Hope you are enjoying summer as much as we are!

Swing sets, Sandboxes, & Stripped Pajamas

2010-06-20T23:16:00.002-04:00

Right after settling L & J into bed tonight I donned a lovely pair of ultra-baggy (hey, it was a good lunch today) stripped pajamas. I came downstairs, really, truly meant to lock the door, and instead walked right into the living room to put my feet up. A few minutes later when I heard a vehicle running right outside the house I jumped up, scrambled to the window and peaked through the blinds to see someone there checking out the swing set that we parked on the curb for free.

Instantly, I had a vague recollection- something about my husband mentioning he hadn't put the bag of bolt-thing-a-ma-jiggers out there with it and me telling him he should have because anyone that took the time to stop and look at the thing was most definitely not going to take it f there was nothing to put it together with included. I was desperate to get rid of it (and I'm pretty sure my next-door neighbors were too) so not thinking I ran out into the backyard in my stocking feet on a frantic hunt for this supposed bag. Then I reasoned with myself that had it been left outside surely the 4 year old male in the house would've located it with his built in magnet for all things boy and it's contents would be long gone. I dashed back inside right in time to hear someone knock on the door. Uggh. oooohnoo.

Frantically I looked down at my pajamas as I stood glued to the kitchen floor. Now, one thing you must realize about my house- to get upstairs you must go past the front door. From the front door you can see into the entire living room. The only place in the downstairs (okay, besides the bathroom) that you can't see from the front door is the kitchen. (Yes, I counted- that's three things you must know.) Basically, there was no way I was going to get past the front door to dash up the stairs and change without this person seeing me.

So there I stood in my pajamas having a mental war for about 30 seconds- should I pretend I wasn't home? Should I put a bathrobe on? Okay, seriously- how was that going to be any better? But if I didn't answer the door- that would mean he probably wasn't going to take the set. I peaked around the corner and saw a man standing there. Way to lock the outside porch door there, brilliant.

At last, I did the only thing I could and marched into the living room and answered the door. Poor guy. I think he probably thought he got me out of bed cause he started to stammer, "Uh. The swing set. Um, is it free?"

And, because I was standing there in my pajamas in front of complete stranger I started to babble a stream of nervous nonsense... Oh, yeah! Yep. It's all there. Or wait. Was there some bolts out there? I think my husband said he needed to put them out there. I wonder if I could find them. If they're around here somewhere. Do you want to take it? I mean... If I find the bolts? I think there's some swings there- my kids mainly used the swings. Well, and the slide. And the teeter-totter, but that's a little rickety. Besides the rust the frame is good, though. Want me to look for those bolts? Man, I was as cool as a -cucumber.

I did, at that point shut him out in the porch while I ran to change. Then, I actually was able to locate the missing bag- bonus of all bonuses. I was even able to find one of the swings that wasn't there- apparently my kids had hauled it back into the backyard.

But, it wasn't until I went to give him the swing that I saw the girl in the cab of the truck- Hey! I said as she started to get out, Did you come to my garage sale last week over at my parent's house and buy a turtle sandbox that you never picked up? Yep. She had paid for the thing and forgotten to come back and get it. Quite the coincidence. So after they loaded up the swing set I sent her across town to my parent's house to get the sandbox.

Maybe I should have offered them the basketball net that's in the backyard too.

Note to self: lock the door, perhaps?

Do you want to win this?

2010-06-16T14:36:00.003-04:00

I know I do! Head on over to Post Road Vintage for your chance at winning this. I can just picture how great this would look on a kitchen wall. While you're there, check out all of Heather's other awesome creations and visit her etsy shop too! As she suggests, I think I will have to grab myself a cup of coffee and meander through her site for a bit!

Fabricated Dreams

2010-06-15T23:57:00.001-04:00

I'm having serious fabric cravings right now. My stash is weary. I keep unfolding the same stacks of material- splaying it over the table, turning it around, trying it with this piece then that. And then folding it up again and stuffing it back into the cabinet. Those pieces may very well have much life left in them but they're begging for some bright new friends to revive them. So, I've been virtual window shopping- adding all kinds of make-me-smile prints to my shopping cart and never making the actual committal by clicking the checkout button. We're kind of limited in this area when it comes to fabric shopping so online bargain hunting it is.

But, it's not the same. I need to touch the colors imagining how they might blend, hold the heavy bolts of fabric up and dreamily stare at them for awhile while visions of what they will be float before my eyes. I like to walk down the rows of rich reds and blues and polka-dotted greens lined shoulder to shoulder and breathe them in. And oh, how shopping online does no justice where all of that is concerned. A point and a click just don't quite have the same effect. The enlarge option is great but there's no life-size option. The online design walls are intelligent for examining coordinating patterns, but they lack the thrill of stacking three bolts haphazardly across each other and seeing a bag. Or a dress. Or a baby blanket.

I just navigated away from the shopping cart page once again. I don't like when I can't see it in real living color. Still. Fabric shopping is a high. Even if it is the virtual window shopping kind.

{On another note: not sure what happened to the pictures when I changed the layout of this blog, but for now it's not letting me fix them. We'll see if I can readjust them another day. Blogger can be temperamental like that.}

Etsy Shop

2010-06-09T21:08:00.002-04:00

Okay, my virtual shingle is hung- my Etsy shop is officially open. It's a bit sparse there at the moment, but I'm working on it. Sloowwwly. I have lots of great ideas just not great lots of time. Hopefully after the garage sale is through this week I can work on listing some more items. Here's a peak at what I have listed so far:

love grows best Sweetie Pie

Not all who wander are lost

Not excited with the way blogger is working for loading pictures/links this evening but okay. I'll go with it, I guess.

Anyways. These boards are either 12x12 inches or 9x9 inches. It's a fun, simple way to display pictures- and so easy to change the pictures at any time.

Thanks for looking!

I never claimed to be an expert

2010-06-08T21:36:00.001-04:00

You know the month(s) before Christmas when you toss out random little threats to your kids in hopes of getting them to behave better? Like... You better quit fighting with your brother because Santa's elves are keeping tabs on you! Or... If you don't clean up every single one of these toys I'm calling up Mr. St. Nick myself and informing him you don't need anything else!!! You also know how those little reminders only work for so long before the kids a) figure out on their own Santa's going to deliver anyways or b) the older ones inform the younger ones that Mom's been threatening that for years and they have yet to see a completely dry Christmas?

Well that's this week in a different sort of way. I'm in the overwhelming midst of getting ready to put on a garage sale this weekend. Eh. Amongst the bags of outgrown clothing and boxes of random miscellaneous stuff I've lost my steam completely. Why did I sign up for this again?

But one thing I do, uh.. did... enjoy about the whole process was the way I could use the garage sale as a motivator for my kids to do something around here. Not sure it worked that extremely well, but still. I used all sorts of great and well-thought-out lines like: whatever' is not off of this floor in three minutes is going in the garage sale! or, Since you're not going to pick up your hockey stuff, I will. AND I'll carry it right over to the door so it's ready to go out with the stuff for the garage sale. Oh, I was on a roll. Came up with new threats every morning while I drank my coffee and smugly dispensed them throughout the day.

Until this evening when my sweet little five year old said to me after one of my fly-off-the-handle-moments, "Mom, I'm gonna sell you in the garage sale so someone else can listen to you yell." Ah, yup. So we're right back at square one with Mr. Freezie bribes.

Something tells me this isn't the theme and advice of any best-selling parenting books on the market.

Cloth Diapering

2010-06-02T22:58:00.007-04:00

A few years ago I heard of someone using cloth diapers and I'll sheepishly admit my first thought was somewhere right along the lines of: I would try them probably, oh, uh, never? In fact, I wondered why anyone would even want to with the convenience of disposables on the shelves of super centers everywhere. Yet, in the next breath- it sparked an interest. Especially when I witnessed a mom actually using them on her baby. It looked simple enough. And, so what usually happens when I have even the slightest interest in something- I just need to know more.

So, I began to research them while Hannah was a baby and my slight pebble of an interest began to snowball. The options, I discovered, were nearly endless when it came to cloth diapers. After months (seriously, yes, months) of research I knew I wanted to try them out and knew exactly which ones I'd purchase, but I couldn't really justify it as Hannah was already a year old by that time. Fast forward a few months to early last summer when I discovered I was again expecting and that interest was reopened.

Knowing I'd probably have to deal with some questions, some curious looks, and interesting remarks, I made the decision to cloth diaper this baby. This was, after all, my decision and I really wanted to try it out. So, I ordered them last summer to do a 'trial run' with Hannah. I decided to go with a one size pocket diaper (the brand I use is Fuzzi Bunz). These diapers have a fleece lining, a waterproof shell made of PUL and (yep, you guessed) a pocket in which a microfiber insert is stuffed into. And, they are adjustable which means they fit her from 3 weeks old and will fit her until she's out of diapers.

Well. My first experiences were rough. I used the wrong detergent (which resulted in build-up on the diapers), I used too much detergent, I didn't use any type of softener for our extremely hard water, and basically I became quite frustrated. The diapers were losing their absorbency, they had an odd smell to them, and I was annoyed at myself for jumping in feet first without doing enough research on how to properly care for the things. I kept using them sporadically- never quite able to get into a great routine with them for Hannah- until I finally put them away for a bit and came to the conclusion that I had some more learning to do.

So, after some more research, I learned how to 'strip' the diapers (kind of a whole other story- one I'll share if you're interested) and when Adalie was three weeks old I jumped back into using cloth- this time with a lot more knowledge on proper care. In addition to the fuzzi bunz, I added a couple of "Flip" diapers to my stash as well. I've been using both ever since. And I can honestly say once I got into a routine- they are so easy. I feel good using them on her because they are so soft (and chemical free) against her skin, I'm excited about the fact that I don't have to purchase diapers for her weekly, and I must admit: they're cute. {Yes, there are chaper options for cloth diapers than the ones I chose- but in the long run we'll still save a lot money by the time this baby is out of diapers!}

So what does cloth diapering involve? Well, for us it's simple. Every other day I wash the diapers and hang them out in the sun to dry (in the winter I hang them up indoors). After they're dry I stuff the inserts in the diapers and stash them in a drawer so they're ready for immediate use. At that point it's no different than disposables: they're ready use and ready to take along anywhere. The diapers we use all have snaps so there's no diaper pins to worry about. (Like I said, there are a lot of options out there- this is just the one that works best for us.)

Anyways. After the diaper is used, I simply shake the insert out of the pocket and drop both the diaper and the inert into the lined diaper pail (I made a waterproof bag out of PUL to help contain odors). It's not even necessary to rinse the diapers before they're tossed in the pail at this point as my baby is still mainly breastfed. In a few months when she's on solid foods they will need to be rinsed. Right now- sometimes I spray them off, sometimes I don't. It doesn't really matter. On wash day, I carry the bag of diapers to the washing machine, dump the diapers in as well as the bag they've been in, and set the washer going. It's that easy. (For the flip diapers it's basically the same with a few variations- they are not a pocket diaper. I like them both for different reasons- but this is getting lengthy, so I won't go into detail unless someone wants to know more.)

Cloth diapers are not for everyone, I'm sure of that. And if that is you, thanks for reading, and I completely respect that- I'm certainly not trying to push my ideas on anyone! But, I just thought I'd shed a tiny bit of light on them for those of you who might be interested but not really sure where to start or what they involve. There are some great sites online that go into much better detail about diapers than I have here. If anyone has any questions, I'd be glad to answer if I can!

Also, for more information here are some websites I find useful:

cottonbabies.com - This website offers free shipping all the time no matter what size order you have. I have ordered from here and the shipping is fast.

babyworks.com%2Fcloth-diapers-and-the-environment&h=3633flPWQDr3Xb4x2ZjovRBmctQ - this link provides some interesing information on costs of laundering cloth diapers

fuzzibunz.com -provides info on fuzzibunz diapers and lists retailers

ETA: Recenty I purchased some bumgenius 3.0 diapers from cottonbabies.com during their "seconds" sale. Not only was the price really decent, I would have never known these were "seconds". There's no tell-tale mstakes or anything like that. After using the bumgenius 3.0s, I'm hooked. I love these diapers!

Tis the season

2010-05-25T22:12:00.002-04:00

Ah, bug hunting. The kids have been avidly collecting creepy crawlies lately. One afternoon last week they came inside wondering if I had any bug houses for them.

Oh yes, I always keep a few of them on hand.

{Well. Maybe not before, but we do now.}

So, we got out a few jars, chopped up an old screen (I knew I was saving that for something), and hot glued the screen to the ring part of the lid. And wa-lah: bug houses.

This guy was somewhat annoyed that his sister found an awesome 'cal-i-pitter' while he had to settle for a dorky little spider.

Not nearly as cool at all.

He quickly dumped it back out and we searched the parameter of the yard again for a caterpillar.

With each multi-legged insect they would scoop up, they'd come running to show me.

Mom, look!

And I'd instinctively back away.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Cool.

Later, Lydia decided Jack could have the caterpillar after all and they transferred it form her jar to his.

And then, later still, they decided to let it go so it could go back to it's real home.

She's looked for the caterpillar several times since.

Smart little fella is probably high-tailing it as far from this yard as he can get.

Monday Rambles

2010-05-25T00:01:00.001-04:00

I can finally breathe in this house.

Usually I resist the window air conditioner window unit for as long as possible (and then I always wonder after why I did.) I'm just stubborn like that and I like to pretend I'm all tough and can handle the heat without the AC. After all, we typically don't have many days up here that we actually need it anyways. (I think I always fear that if we can just flip on the air we won't be as likely to head out to the lake. But with a little baby in the house... The lake is not always a possibility).

Tonight I practically begged my hubby to go fetch it out of the basement and put it in the living room window to which he gladly obliged. And ahhh... What a difference it makes. I can actually breathe. I can actually hold the baby without feeling little trails of sweat racing down my forehead.

On another completely random note: does anyone have any sandals that they absolutely love? I'm looking for recommendations for a good, supportive pair of sandals comfortable enough to wear daily. I'm a shoes person- I don't like walking around the house barefoot- makes my feet ache. But in the warmer months I struggle. Shoes are too warm and confining, yet no shoes is uncomfortable. Any suggestions for a good pair of sandals?

And- since it appears this is a rambling post I'll ramble a bit more- we broke a new record today: We made it to the camp for the 3rd time before Memorial Day! Not sure we were there 3 times before the Fourth of July last year!

Hello, summer!

Apparently I talk just to hear my own voice

2010-05-20T13:19:00.002-04:00

I know I need to appreciate these days when my children are little. But some days... My patience is paper thin with gaping holes in which my temper flares through.

Today Lydia & Jack asked for scissors to cut the long grass next to the fence in the backyard. I'm not completely stupid so I agreed they could ONLY if I was out there with them. I gave strict warnings about how the scissors would be taken away if they cut anything else besides the grass, blah, blah, blah. They both promised like good little children they would only use the scissors for grass. So I went out with them to drink my morning coffee (yes, at 11:30 a.m.) on the back steps while they made there way around the backyard cutting the grass.

Five minutes later, the phone rang and I ran inside to answer it. When I came out approximately seventy-five seconds later I found them cutting large holes in a tarp in the yard. I know it could be worse. I know this is just a minor detail. I know I need to relax a bit and I know it was my fault to give them the scissors in the first place. But still!

So, we put the scissors away and I told them it would be a long time before they could have them back again.

They just came in a few minutes ago asking if they could have them back now.

I told them to try again in fifteen years.

Backyard Swimming

2010-05-19T14:04:00.002-04:00

Aware of the beautiful weather in the forecast for today, I cheerfully announced to the kids as they munched down their cereal, "Today we'll set up the kiddie pool!" to which I was met with a chorus of cheers.

So, once the ~~wild animals were fed and watered,~~ Er... Once the children's bellies were full and the diapers were changed, the baby was settled into her swing, and the monitor was set up next to her, the dash began. (Because when the baby sleeps, we're on the time clock)

It all happened a bit like this:

Quick, get your swimsuits on!
Shh! Quietly so you don't wake the baby!
Can someone get me a swim diaper?
Yes, Jack, for the seventeenth time we are going to set up the pool.
Just please... be patient.
Please.
Has anyone seen the bottom to Hannah's suit?
What? When are we going out? When everyone is ready we will go out.
No, I don't know when that will be.
Why is your suit still not on?
No we are not having snacks now- do you want to go or don't you?!
Are we finally ready?
Okay. Everyone out.
Quietly! let's go.

So out we trooped into the backyard, lugging the two dollar and fifty cent inflatable bargain bin pool I'd picked up last fall from Wal~Mart. I clicked on the monitor and stood it on the steps while a debate began over where to set up the pool. Finally with the ideal location determined, the rest of the pool was inflated, the hose was turned on, and pool began to fill. A quick toe-test and they all declared the water was freezing and pleeeeeease, could I just dump in one bucket of hot water? So back in I went to run some hot water in a bucket and peek at the baby who was still peacefully asleep while the lullabies humming on her swing droned on.

Back outside, I dumped in the hot water and all was right again with the kids' world. And then I realized we'd forgotten about sunscreen so back in I went shouting my warnings to stay out of the water till I returned. Baby was still asleep, sunscreen was located and slathered on little noses and backs. I retrieved my lounge chair from the back porch, settled in, kicked my feet up and breathed. Ahhh, I thought, how nice to just relax for a bit.

So the kids splashed and squealed, I picked up my book, slid my sunglasses over my eyes, and flipped open to the dog-eared page where I'd left off.

And over the monitor came the cries of the baby whose nap was now over and whose belly was once again empty.

We might try again this afternoon. I might have to work up my courage first.

2010-05-18T23:23:00.000-04:00

summer slips in on wishes attached

to dandelion fluff

and the simple dreams of little children,

quieting the chatter in our souls

and teaching us to just be still

Here Comes the Sun!

2010-05-17T21:51:00.002-04:00

Don't you love the satisfied feeling you get when you arrive at the close of a productive day (productive translating to one in which you were able to both get some work accomplished as well as soak up the beautiful weather by lounging in the backyard with a book by the author you've been away from for far too long)? Today was blissfully productive.

With the clean laundry waving in the breeze on the clothesline, the back porch finally tackled and cleared out (you can actually walk, like walk normally through it now- no more twisting sideways past the desks- don't ask, please- no more turning this way and then bending that way to avoid tipping the precariously stacked boxes that accumulated there through the winter). With the baby (and the two two year olds) at last taking a decent nap inside, with the supper cooking in the oven (yeah, so it was just a casserole pulled from the freezer), with the children playing happily under the sprinkler (okay so the term 'happily' is used lightly in this situation as there were plenty of squawks and squabbles with a couple of extra girls here for the day putting a severe crimp into my son's already outnumbered male status. He thought it would be hilarious to spray the girls with water when they were most unaware; personally I thought it was pretty funny myself- they, uh, didn't). So, with the promise of summer curling itself sweetly around the afternoon, I sat and got through an entire chapter of my book. And then I got way too warm and spent some time ducking under the sprinkler with the kids.

And then when my nieces were gone home for the day, when the older three were tucked in bed right up to their sunkissed noses, and the baby was contentedly laying on the couch cooing at her dad, I slipped right out the door and met two of my girlfriends for a rather large slice of grasshopper pie overflowing with hot fudge, some good chats, and an overdue catch-up session.

No, this wasn't exactly a typical day- especially with a sometimes-sort-of-a-bit-of-a-fussy baby calling the shots while she slips into, and then so quickly out of, her 45 minute catnaps. But today... ah, sweet summertime, how I've missed you! It was the perfect balance of relaxation and accomplishment. How easily I've slipped into the routine of not really having a routine.

I have a feeling we'll all sleep well tonight.

Four Years Old

2010-05-13T20:38:00.003-04:00

Today my son turns four. So much has changed for him in the past year- he's grown up so much and has leaped from a toddler straight into boyhood. Amidst all the ruffles and pink in our house I'm so thankful for this guy who leaves his trucks lined up on the kitchen floor and his tools on the couch cushions. At four years old he's debating- when he grows up he could be a working guy... or maybe a mailman... or maybe a hockey player. He's not quite sure just yet.

His smile never fails to make me grin, his innocent sayings crack me up. Just the other day when the baby was crying he said to me, "But Mom! There's not even water squirting from her eyes!" Jack, you make us laugh.

At four he's persistent and stubborn and knows what he wants. He knows what bugs his sisters and teases them with a mischief glinting in his eyes. He loves his sports- always on the lookout for someone to play hockey or catch with him. He loves cars and racetracks (and has requested a racetrack cake) and he can't stop thinking about just what might be wrapped inside his presents. (We're having his party tomorrow night).

So my little boy- may this next year be filled with frogs to catch and trails to explore, wishes to make and dreams to come true. Happy fourth birthday, Jack! Now, let's have that party already!

For My Children

2010-05-06T13:28:00.003-04:00

One day as my daughter was playing
With one of her very best friends
I overheard them talking
And I couldn’t help listening in

“Why isn’t your dad at work?”
Was the question that was asked
I quickly wanted to intervene
And smooth things over fast

But being four at the time,
My little girl was not at all phased
And she answered her friend so proudly,
“My Dad goes to school in the day!”

This is just one moment
Amidst a collection of memories I store
Answers to the times I questioned
What are we doing this for?

My children, I admit feeling guilty
For all the ramen noodle meals
And for the very early bedtimes
So some extra studying I could steal

Sometimes it felt impossible
Like one day as I backed out of the drive
And the little one stood in the window
Smiling and waving good-bye

That day was one of the overnights
For a clinical out of town
I wouldn’t return till the following day
Yet I just wanted to turn back around

In the moments I thought would break me a apart
You children carried me through
You weathered the bumps we had to take
Getting Dad and Mom through school

A little hand drew me a picture
Of a happily smiling family
I kept it in my notebook
And as promised it made me less lonely

Lydia, I’ll never forget when you said,
“When I go to school we can study together!”
My daughter, you’ll never know
How that comment made me feel better

Jack, one day I was so excited
To find school was canceled
And you, in turn were so disappointed
Because it meant you weren’t going to Grandma and Grandpa’s

You’ve all been such good travelers
On this journey we’ve been on
It’s been three years since it all began
And now, kiddos, we’re done

Hannah, you’re the one
Who always has hugs for me
Born during my first year back at school
You became my quiet reprieve

Adalie, my littlest one
You arrived when our lives were so busy
But holding you close I could let it all go
And everything seemed less crazy

So congratulations, my children
You made this easy to do
I know it’s been quite the adventure

And for that we’ll forever thank you

Nursing School: Part Three

2010-04-24T07:50:00.003-04:00

One might think going to school along with your husband could be a disaster, a remedy for trouble. But to be completely honest it worked. That's not to say his early morning good mood did not annoy me more than once when all I wanted to do was melt into the car seat and slip away with my coffee. Or that the fact that he never had to study for anything while still acing every exam in med-surg didn't drive me crazy.

But aside from the little nuances we had through it all, it was never as difficult as I thought it might be. In fact, if I could just jump up on my soapbox here for a moment and make a little speech (which I'm sure Ryan will be thrilled about...) he was the reason I was able to make it through this year. For someone who quit college twice before because of lack of interest and failing grades, he proved he is more than capable of doing whatever he sets his mind to. And he pulled me right along with him- never letting me give up while always letting me remember if it got to be too much, I could be done.

Going to school with my husband actually turned out to be an experience I'm sure has changed us for the good forever. In many ways it brought us closer together and made the whole year a little easier. I'm not trying to get all sappy and say our life is just a bouquet of roses and a ball of sunshine now, but I think going through this made us realize how far we've come together.

On the night before the first day of school last fall we brought the kids over to my parents, tucked them into bed, told them to be good and that we loved them, and left. On the way home we stopped at the grocery store to get some things for our lunches and as we wandered the aisles I felt my eyes blurring with tears because I wasn't sure I'd made the right choice. Yes, it was only one day a week they needed a sitter and in my heart I knew they would handle it a lot better than me- spending the day at Grandma's is never too hard on a kid. But as Ryan tossed bread and oranges and lunch meat into the cart, I trailed along worried out of my mind we might be selfish doing what we were. When we went to pick up the kids the following evening after making the two hour drive to and from class and spending six hours in lecture, the kids weren't ready to go home. We just started playing with the blocks, they said, we need to stay longer. And that was the proof I knew was there all along- I was not harming my children by making them stay at Grandma's once a week.

I understood quickly that if I was not making that drive with Ryan every week, if he was not the one coaching me through the presentations that rattled me, if he wasn't with me to remind me the kids were fine and that they probably weren't even missing us- I'm not so sure it would have been so easy to make it through.

He worked full-time nights, he made me attempt to start an IV on his hand when I was afraid to try, he stopped at every gas station on the way to I******d so I could use the bathroom in the last couple months of my pregnancy. He made fun of the little things when I felt too overwhelmed, listened to me talk for hours about my first IV starts, and always convinced me I would be fine. No matter what it was, he'd always tell me: Don't worry about it. You'll be fine.

In two weeks we'll make the final drive to get our diplomas. And after that life will begin to change again as he starts a new job and summer begins. And while it was an experience I'll always be glad we went through together- I'll be happy to say we'll never go to school together again. I hope.

Nursing School : Part Two

2010-04-18T22:13:00.004-04:00

When I started this all, I half doubted I would finish. I laid awake till 4:30 a.m. the night before I was to register for classes. I weighed options on imaginary scales, I flipped mental coins, I made bargains with myself: If I try one semester, I can quit after that. No one will blame me. I wrote pages in my journal and scratched a pros vs. cons list out on paper trying to decide if I was making the right decision.

Weary and trying to distract myself that evening I picked up a magazine and began reading an article. While I don't remember what the article focused on or what the point of it was, I do remember picking out a quotation amongst the otherwise jumbled words- Whether you do something about it or not, the time will pass. Okay, so I don't even remember the exact words that were used, but this is what has stuck with me after all this time. The next day I found myself registering for classes with a knot in my throat and nervous excitement boiling inside of me.

And so, time did pass while I went to school. Sometimes I seriously doubted my choice. This, after all, was not what I had envisioned for myself when I had once looked ahead toward the future. It was not what I had in mind for my children either. There was always the worry that I would miss something important or that they might despise me for doing this at all. I cannot count how many times I was quitting over the years- all the while knowing I probably would not stop halfway through. Ryan quit reacting to my words, That's it! I'm done with this. I'm going to quit. The funny thing was- he always said so calmly, "That's fine. Be done right now if you want." But it was never quite the right time to be done. Weeelll, I'd reason with myself, I'll just finish out this week. This month. This semester. The LPN year.

It might sound as if I don't really want to be a nurse at all. And quite truthfully, there have been times I've doubted that as well. On my first day of clinical during my LPN year, I think I came home and cried. I'll never forget the way my stomach dropped when my instructor led us into the hall in the nursing home that first morning and said, "Okay. Go wake up your resident." How, I wondered, was it possible that I had made it this far into the program without really becoming prepared for this part. Patient care, after all, was where everything we learned was applied.

In reality, there is no preparing completely for anything. In nursing school as in life, we can only prepare to a certain point- after that you have to experience it to truly understand it. Sometimes it goes how we've imagined it, sometimes it's a surprising contrast to our plans. And, yet either way- somehow after the first time you've attempted something it's never quite so scary again. All the firsts a person goes through in life makes us a little stronger. Every step takes you a bit further. And after that first bed bath, then the first insulin shot, the first IM injection, the first dreaded catheter, I began to understand that I would be okay. No one else stated out knowing everything on day one, and there was no way I would either.

And time continued to pass as things became a little easier, a little more interesting, until I actually could admit that I really liked what I was doing. A bonus when you've already invested so much time into something, really. I kept going because I wanted to make it to the end. I kept going because no matter how many times I let myself think I wouldn't finish I always felt the reminder that time was passing. I kept going becuase I wanted to be a nurse.

Time went by, life happened, I didn't quit. And it's easy to say now, I think I always knew I'd make it.

Eighteen more days...

Nursing School: Part One

2010-04-14T10:36:00.002-04:00

We started the first three weeks of this semester with me making the two hour drive to do my two day a week mental health clinical. And as the timing was, all I could do was hope that I could make it through those weeks before my baby arrived. I'd drive down there wondering if I'd end up having to leave for home early, I'd lay in bed at night thinking- is this it? Should I get in the car and head home right now? Always hoping I'd just make it through. And just barely, I did; Adalie was born three days after I finished my last one.

Well, at the time it seemed like forever until Ryan would be heading out the door for his mental health rotation- the last three weeks of the semester. At the time it seemed so far away and distant that I could hardly think about it because there was so much else to focus on. But then, this morning arrived and Ryan packed up his stuff and headed out the door for week one of the final three! What an incredibly awesome feeling it is to realize this point that I doubted would ever come has finally arrived! Three busy weeks and it's over. (As if you haven't heard me say that enough!)

Lydia asked me the other day what a 'grad-ja-ta-shun" (graduation) was after hearing us talk about it so much. I tried explaining it to her and told her I'd be done with school for good after it and the poor girl couldn't even comprehend it. Till next fall? she asked. I don't think she remembers a time before I went to school. Yet although it's all she knows right now someday- as so many have told me- she won't have much memory of us going to school at all. And the other kids- I doubt they'll remember it at all.

So, with that being said: I'm going to be doing a series of posts reflecting back on these past few years because I know as quickly as it is over we will begin to forget what it was really like. And so one day when our children ask what it was like I'll have something to show them. Over the next few weeks I'll be trying to get some thoughts down here- a countdown to the sweet end of all of this!

Just a little over three weks now...

Spring Cleaning will have to wait 28 more days...

2010-04-08T20:21:00.001-04:00

Wow, this blog needs a serious facelift. I kind of cringe when I open it and see how desperate it I have let it become. Exhausted posts, worn out fonts, a visually unappealing dead-end begging for a second chance. And whenever I stop by, instead of sticking around long enough to do anything about it, I run away quickly so I don't have to look at it. Kind of the same way I treat my laundry room-which-has-now-morphed-into-my craft room. One look inside those doors and I start to hyperventilate to the point where I close them back up tight and make myself scarce before I pass out from pure panic at what it has turned into.

There's no room for creativity in that craft room anymore. It's been taken over by and overwhelming amount of stuff that has the walls feeling awfully tight. Piles of clothes that are headed for a garage sale or Goodwill, piles of clothes that are clean but haven't made it to their rightful owner's rooms, piles of clothes on their way to the wash, all clutter the table and floor. Stacks of school books from the past six semesters- collecting dust because I never got around to listing them on ebay. {cringe} Papers that were supposed to be filed and winter mittens that are on their way into storage litter themselves across the counter that once housed scrapbooking supplies. Still probably does but they are not currently visible beneath the heaps and stacks of junk.

Well. If you'll kindly notice that cheesy little countdown ticker on your left over there you'll see that my school days are numbered. Ahem, 28 to be exact. So, I'm forced to believe there's hope that some day in the near future when life isn't so full of papers to write, tests to study for, and careplans to create I will get this blog spring-cleaned as well as the rest of this house. I have projects cooking in my mind and ideas bouncing around the corners of my brain.

So kindly put up with the desolate disposition this blog has taken and hopefully someday in the near future new air will be breathed through the cobwebs that clutter it now.

In the meantime- I'll be counting down till my life is once again my own. Less than a month: 4 days of class, 3 days of regular clinical, 2 days of OB clinical, 1 day of exams... Now that just sounds downright crazy. Yeeeah!

My monthly post

2010-03-22T19:39:00.003-04:00

Apparently I'm going for a new blogging record here- how long can she go without posting? Alas, I decided to break my nearly three week hiatus and grace the blogging world with my presence once again. I know, I know- excitement abounds- your cheers are audible from here. Calm down already, will ya?

Anyways. Did I mention I only have five actual weeks of class yet? Oh. Now, might be the time to throw out my disclaimer of the month: If listening to me exlaim how many days/weeks are left bores you to tears you might want to stay away for a bit. Becuase the closer it gets, the more I'll most likely be informing everyone else. Whether you want to hear about it or not. Sorry. Can't help it. I'm insanely excited to put my schooling behind me.

Amongst the other headlines in this house... We had Adalie's baptism yesterday and had a fun afternoon visiting afterward. Such a beautiful day! This little girl is not such a little newborn anymore. She's seven weeks old, 11 pounds, and smiling and cooing more and more each day. We are loving having a cuddly baby in the house! Even when she does keep me awake half the night on my night before clinical... Ah, sweetheart.

Speaking of. She's waking up, so time to wrap this exciting post up.

These little moments...

2010-03-03T22:46:00.003-05:00

... Are what keep me happy...

An afternoon spent wandering through stores, just me and my oldest daughter. Good conversations, a little hand in mine. I love her perspective, the way she skips instead of walks, the spontaneous songs she invents for anything and nothing in particular. She suddenly she seems so old- how did this happen? But oh, how I love these special moments!
A quiet walk as the sun was setting after my kids were in bed this evening. Beautiful sunset- perfect for reflecting and just letting my thoughts flow freely. A moment to step away from being a mother, to breathe, and then to return home feeling refreshed.
An imperfect house. There are blocks on the bathroom floor and boots under the living room chair. There are dolls in the baby's swing, and a puzzle half finished on the floor... And three soundly sleeping children tucked in their beds upstairs. They are content.
The sunshine that crept across the living room floor all afternoon until the long shadows of the evening carried it away. So refreshing to feel the warmth of that sun and to know spring will come. It might not be for some time yet, but each day of sun makes it feel closer and closer.
A baby who fits so perfectly into my arms, who's breath against my neck is like little butterfly wings, who's gaze makes me feel like we're sharing a secret no one else is allowed to know.

... and that is today. In between it all, there are are simple little reasons to smile. Some days it's just harder than others to find them- sometimes they hide too well. But usually when you find one good thing, the others just fall in line.

Life is good like that.

Thanks, Sis.

2010-03-02T21:23:00.002-05:00

Jack came home from my sister's house today with a box of 445 hockey cards. Don't ask me where she purchased such a pack from, but it made for a happy three year old. And yes, she was grinning when she handed them over.

It all started when my sister asked Lydia if she wanted to take a comic home (because- for a little girl who can't yet read- she loves comics. Don't ask me about that one either). Anyways, that set Jack off. In his overtired, burnt out state he snatched up the nearest thing he could get his hands on- a toy truck- and declared that he wanted to take that home. I vetoed that. He threw a fit. Hold up. That's a bit too mild... Let's try- he started wailing and screaming and became this little monster that would not be reasoned with.

Until... my sis comes up with this pack of hockey cards for him to take instead. She told him he could give some to his buddies to which he took to heart. When we got home he said, "I have to give some to my friends." Then, he took a handful of them to bed with him, begrudgingly parted with one for his little sister, and asked if someone could play hockey cards with him tomorrow. Yes, he thinks they're a game.

My prediction? By 9:30 a.m. tomorrow there will be, oh... about 445 hockey cards flying around the living room. The good news? I have a fresh container of Colombian coffee sitting on my counter. It's all good.

Hannah Lou is Two

2010-02-12T19:18:00.001-05:00

Well, this mom is slacking over here. As if that should come as a surprise to anyone, right? Nevertheless, here it is- my birthday post a day late for the big two year old girl in our house...

Miss Hannah you are our bright-eyed, mischeif-seeking, smiley little sweetheart. You have an agenda all of your own and you're always on the move to do what needs to be done next. I fear whatever might have been left undone by the two above you, will definetly be completed by you.

You love to dress up and lately you always have a hat on your head and boots on your feet. So much so you won't even let us take the hat off for bed. And while you're dressing up you always wave to us with a glint in your eye and say, "Buh-bye! To-you!" I'm quite certain what you're trying to say is "love you!" And we do love you, my dear. So much!

You climb up on the counters, empty out all the toys in your older sibling's room, pull all the blankets off the beds, and throw things in the toilet. And all with big-eyed innocence and a sweet little smile.

And yet... You are never too busy to stop to cuddle. To rest your head on my shoulder, tuck your hands between us, and wait for me to rub your back. I cherish these moments we share, cozy togehter in the rocking chair, before something new sparks your attention and you take off on your latest adventure.

And with each new adventure life brings your way, I hope you never grow too old for our quiet moments together. For little stolen hugs and sweet smiles. For laughter that comes so freely and happiness that radiates without reserve.

Happy Birthday, my dear Hannah. And yes, I promise- we will have a cake for you.

Our newest member

2010-02-06T19:00:00.000-05:00

This was the welcoming committee for baby Adalie who made her entrance into the world a week ago tomorrow. After spending the first part of the week with Auntie Trudy and the second half of the week with Grandpa & Grandma H., they came back home last night. I enjoyed a quiet week just holding the baby, sleeping when I felt like it, and just taking in the newness of this precious little girl. And now it's back to reality, but it's good to have them home too. Lydia especially is really going to be a helper this time around- I'm going to need that!

Miss Princess herself, Hannah, is taking the demotion fairly well. She thinks Adalie needs a hat on continuously since she was wearing one when they visited in the hospital. Being that Hannah carries a baby doll around or pushes one in a stroller the better part of the day, she's quite intrigued by this baby that cries and squirms and makes funny faces. A little too intrigued at times.

Adalie has done what newborns do best most of the week- sleep away the daylight hours and put up a bit of protest about settling down at night. Yesterday and today she's needed to have the billiblanket on her because she's jaundiced. She's not real fond of it and I'm hoping we're done with it by tomorrow.

The week ahead will bring some interesting adjustments which I'm not especially looking forward to. I was able to take off this past Friday from school but I'll have to go back this coming week. Not looking forward to that at all, but I knew it was coming. And we will survive.

And on that note- with the older kids in bed, it's time to cuddle with that baby of mine!

Carseat Cover

2010-01-30T20:05:00.003-05:00

So here it is- the finished product. This was one of those projects that started out all fun and misled me into thinking- this is way easier than I thought it would be! And then the fun started. The binding was all messed up, the canopy would. not. work. (and still needs some fixing- someday when I have more patience). And then there was the button holes for the straps to fit through. Oh, now those were just plain fun with the puffy backing I used. In the end it worked out- but just a note of advice if you plan to try one of these yourself- have plenty of Dove dark chocolates on hand. It helps.

Now. Just anxiously waiting to try it out. Ah, let the waiting game continue.

And that's all I'll say about that

2010-01-25T07:37:00.002-05:00

Disclaimer: Please read this before continuing on with today's post: All of you who read my blog? I know you. (And if I don't well... You know me. And if you don't then you've gotten to know me through my posts, right?) So the following post is not in any way geared toward any of you. Just want to make sure we're clear on that- I appreciate all of your comments and questions and support so much! This rant is strictly directed at the judgemental, nosy strangers who come right out and say stupid things like, "I just want to touch your belly!" Oh! Well, why didn't you just say something? I've been wanting to touch yours too! Seriously. What was your name again?

Probably the most enjoyable part of being pregnant while going to school is meeting all kinds of inquisitive strangers who feel the compelling urge to make some sort of comment about my expanding belly and the baby that resides within. (Please feel the sarcasm here people. I don't know- it's Monday morning and I feel like if you operate like I do you might need it pointed out.)

Anyways. Take the experience I had a couple of weeks ago for an example. I was at clinical and a woman who shall remain anonymous because I have no idea who she is despite the fact that she broke into personal conversation with me within two and a half minutes of meeting her. Of course she commented that I must be due for a baby soon to which I agreed. Then she said all enthusiastically (and I get this all. the. time.), "So is this your first?" Um... No. Fourth.

Her demeanor suddenly changed from over-excited experienced mom who wanted to pass me all kinds of wisdom to judgemental crazy-woman who thought she had some sort of right to basically imply I'd had too many kids already by her standards. Her tone of voice did this cool 180 thing and suddenly she was all serious and belittling. "Oh. Do you have girls or boys?" Two girls and a boy. "Oh. We stopped at two. Our first was a girl and our second was a boy. Maybe if the second would have been a girl too we would have tried for a third." Ooooh... Thanks for the advice- sorry I didn't follow your rules.

And then there was the woman on the elevator who meant well, but... well. In hindsight there would have been a much easier way to deal with her. She took a look at me and said, "Normally I don't say anything but I'm pretty sure I can ask... So, how's the baby?" Oh, fine. (And to think at this point I could have fore-gone the entire conversation by stating,'What baby?!') "Are you excited?" Okay, first off I don't get this question. Well, gee, let's see- Would you like the real answer?! I'm at clinical two hours away from home three weeks before my due date. My back aches, my pants won't stay up, and I got approximately 3 hours of sleep meshed between tossing, turning, contractions, and bathroom breaks last night. So am I excited? Jumping up and down in the elevator, lady, Yeah! Are you? Are you excited today?

She also went on to ask how many kids I had and this time when I answered she shut up completely and we spent the next 8 seconds in silence until the elevator reached her floor. Oh well. I think we could have been real good friends too.

The final thing I will not miss about being pregnant and going to school- the people who mean well but who can't drop the fact that I will be having this baby in the middle of a semester. One girl when she found out said (with much doubt in her voice), "Oh. Well, good luck with that." Thank-you. Thanks, it's all better now because you gave me your well wishes. And another who just couldn't seem to let it go and kept asking questions like, "But how are you going to do it? Do you have other kids? Who will watch the baby?" All this after I had known her for a mere five minutes.

I understand concern. I'm not faulting people who have natural wonder and who offer good wishes- I appreciate that. It's when it comes down to nosy strangers who are only filling their own curiosity by peppering me with a thousand pointless questions that will in no way make their day more complete to which I have a problem.

And, I don't mind questions so much from strangers-- if they could leave their judgements aside. As soon as they find out this is my fourth kid, or if they somehow manage to discover my husband is in nursing school as well, they take that as their cue to start implying that I'm completely nuts. Guess what- here's a newsflash you probably didn't see coming- I think I'm nuts too. But that's for me to decide. Not the stranger in the hospital cafeteria who suddenly feels it's their duty to remind me that I've lost my mind just like one might drop a piece of silverware. Um, m'am? I think you lost your sanity over there by the salad bar. Hah. No, actually I misplaced that about two babies ago and I've been wandering aimlessly ever since, but thanks- maybe that's yours?

So there you have it. My rant on crazy-nosy, judgemental strangers. Apparently people have this fascination with pregnant woman that leads them to ramble off nonsense comments they wouldn't find themselves saying to ordinary passer-by.

Oh well. I can take it. My list of comebacks is increasing with every meeting. I like to think I'm growing wiser.

And- as a footnote to all of you still reading- you have earned the right to call me crazy any time you want. Go for it.

Sewing mis-haps

2010-01-18T18:41:00.001-05:00

Grr. Grumble, grumble, mutter, complain.

That carseat cover I mentioned a couple of days ago? It's almost on it's way to being chopped up into something else. That's how sick of it I am. Today I monkeyed around with the canopy- spending far too long trying to get it right... And when, finally, after a couple hours of muttering under my breath and fighting with bias tape... I was ready to try it out.

So, I put the plastic parts back in from the original, excited to be nearly finished- and discovered it does NOT. fit. Somewhere, somehow in cutting the pieces patterned from the original canopy I made some wrong cuts.

Oooh, oh, oh let's just keep this kid-friendly and say I was not impressed. The thing is- it will have to do. I'm not starting over. I'm much too stubborn for that. Perhaps when the steam billowing over my head blows over I might try to modify it a bit, but more than likely it will stay as it is.

At least the actual cover part is working. So far. Still have to put in holes for the belts which I've been putting off till last because I'm terribly afraid of ruining it.

Ah well. You win some, you lose some, right?

2010-01-16T22:22:00.000-05:00

One whirlwind week down... Not sure how it can already be Saturday night but it is. I'm catching my breath for a few days before it all begins again.

We took our older two kids to a hockey game tonight while the little one went bumming with Grandma and Grandpa. I was a bit amused by the fact that my kids knew next to nothing about hockey. Who are the guys in the stripes? Is that big truck going to come back and clean the ice? What do those numbers mean up there- 4 and 4?

Ah, gee. Sorry kiddos. Apparently we haven't been to very many hockey games in your young little lives. When Lydia was the only one we went several times that winter. Then they went to a couple games with Ryan last year, but according to him they lost interest as soon as their candy supply ran out. Such good little dedicated fans they are. Tonight they enjoyed it. Of course a nice size box of popcorn split between the two of them probably helped.

We topped off the evening with a trip to Wal-mart for some essentials- needed some thread and bias tape to finish a car seat liner (cover?) I'm working on. When I pulled out the car seat to wash the original cover a few weeks ago my mind suddenly conjured up an idea to sew up something a bit more fresh. It's close to being done and I'm excited with how it's turning out so far. But it did present with it's share of headaches. At one point I felt as if I was doing more ripping out than sewing. Ugh. That's when sewing becomes a (dare I say it?) chore. Maybe I'll post some pictures when it's complete.

I went into my sewing room... er... the kitchen this afternoon to sew and was promptly followed by two little tag-alongs who wanted to sew as well. So... I pulled out the little sewing machine that was mine when I was a kid (a tough little machine!) and cut some squares for them to make little quilts. They actually did really well and even though I got exactly nothing done on my projects they were excited to really put something together. And, admittedly, it was fun for me to see them take up an interest in something that I enjoy so much.

And with that I'm going to call it a night.
G'night.

Here we go...

2010-01-10T19:24:00.001-05:00

So. Tomorrow is the begining of the last semester for us. I hate the thought of this break ending, but I'm ready. I think. Even though for the past week I've been going through bouts of dread and anticipation. And fear and excitement. And nervousness that keeps me up at night and... Okay, you get the idea.

The baby clothes are washed, the house is cleaned (well. kind of.), several meals have been cooked and frozen, jam is made, loaves of bread are in the freezer, the sewing machine has been humming along almost nightly since right after Christmas...

Now, three busy weeks and January will be gone before I even have time to register that it was ever really here at all. At least these three weeks should be the busiest weeks until the final three weeks of the semester. And by then the end will be so close I'm not sure I'll really care how busy things might get.

So ready to be done with this. I've been a student waaaay too long, now and I'm ready to get this semester over.

Okay.
Ready now.
Let the craziness begin.

I'm losing

2010-01-06T13:06:00.001-05:00

Calling all moms with experience in potty training...

I've met my match. This kid is impossible. Way too old to still be in diapers but so frustratingly stubborn I can hardly handle it.

Yes, I'm well aware that this isn't the best time to start trying to potty train him... But we've tried so many times in the past when timing seemed impeccable. So when he expressed a mild interest last night before going to bed I jumped on it- all set to go with several pairs of undies and multiple changes of pants this morning.

And then we sat. And waited. And waited. And I loaded him up with juice and water and milk. And we waited some more. And I'm slowly going insane. Because he's so stubborn he's squirms around refusing to go on the potty while I just know the minute he gets back in his undies the waterworks will suddenly break loose.

No amount of bribing works. He's been offered trips to Wal-Mart, colorfully wrapped presents to chose from, candy, and several other miscellaneous prizes. He'll gladly put the undies on- his head swirling with all these great offers- but then he refuses. to. go.

Any advice? Besides try again another day- because most likely that is what this is all going to boil down to once again. If there was one part of parenting I could hand over to someone else to deal with- this would by far top the list. In fact, it's so far above anything else on the list it's been granted a super-special list all of it's own.

Argh.

This Zoo is a Place

2010-01-05T18:01:00.000-05:00

So the excellent plan of getting masses of meals put together today crumpled when Ryan got called in to work. And he got called in for tomorrow to, so we're on hold. I refuse to do it all myself. Hey. It was his idea, after all! His hours are unpredictable, but I'm always so thankful he has a job!

I did manage to get some strawberry and blueberry jam made this afternoon- a project that somehow slipped into the evening hours and managed to leave me with three overly rambunctious kids. Eep. The noise level in this house has risen steadily since about 4 p.m. and being the tired mom that I keep glancing at the clock wondering if it's time to tuck them into their beds yet.

Jack & Lydia are running around the house finding "great hiding spots" to hide from Hannah. And the funny thing is- Hannah's just got her own plan going on and could care less about finding her siblings. In fact, I'm quite sure that she doesn't have a clue she's apparently supposed to be seeking out the other two. Yet every few seconds I hear shrieks of, "She's gonnna find us! Come on! Let's go find a secret hiding spot so she can't find us!" Brilliant. You can't lose at this game.

Speaking of games- the kids got a few for Christmas and we've been playing them a bit. I love the simplicity and short time frame of games that have colors rather than numbers on the dice and approximately two rules to follow.

Uhh. Uh-oh. The kids have now moved on and are declaring themselves "Tiggers". They bounce on their tails, Lydia says, Watch me. I'll bounce on my tail, as she poses at the edge of the couch. This might end dangerously. Okay, somehow she landed on her head but bounced up saying, "I'm okay! I'm okay! I'm like a real tigger!"

Next up, it's Jack. His landing wasn't quite as happy as he landed on a little fence for his farm set. And as he held his foot in pain I couldn't resist another teaching moment from the school of Mom- That's what happens when you don't pick up your toys. And the lesson once again falls upon deaf ears as he looks at me oddly and hops back up on the couch.

Now here comes Hannah over the back of the couch. Who traded these kids in for a gang of wild monkeys while I wasn't looking? Perhaps a bit more startling and mysterious- how is it that no one has broken a bone yet today? Excuse me while I knock on wood.

Guess what kids. Bedtime is coming early tonight. (There is a bonus to dark winter evenings after all- they never quite know exactly when their bedtime is... As soon as it's dark they declare it must be 'middle of the night'. I fear this isn't going to work for too many more years.)

Yes, yes, I hear you. I AM appreciating these days.

What Mondays were meant for

2010-01-04T18:14:00.002-05:00

What a way to start off the first week of the New Year! Ryan finally had a day off of work so we overhauled our house trying to get it clean and (somewhat) organized before the new semester begins next week. I'm still amazed at just how much can get accomplished in a day!

Ryan defrosted the freezer in the basement and scrubbed it out so tomorrow we're planning to put together as many meals as we can fit in there to make that daily task easier after the baby is born. For a little while anyways. I'm lucky that Ryan likes to cook- so I'll let him take care of most of that while I make some loaves of bread and some jam from all the berries that were hiding in the depths of the freezer.

Why is it that it always seems it's the impending birth of a new baby that makes us kick into action around here? Seriously, besides right before the birth of my other children the only other time I cleaned my house this well is when I was hosting a shower here. A little bit more of this cleaning-frenzy would be nice a few times a year anyways.

It doesn't hurt that I've got a lot of nerves firing around inside of me right now due to school. I know once this semester begins, things will fall into place but right now I can't help wondering how everything is going to work out. In other words, now might be a bad time to ask, but, uh... What have I gotten myself into?! I just have to keep reminding myself: what is meant to be will be. And if it's all meant to work out, it will.

Four months. Four short months left in this crazy journey through school. So apprently scrubbing my house from top to bottom and sewing baby stuff like I'll never touch my machine again is how I deal with the nerves.

I'm going a bit crazy- what else is new?

Ringing in 2010

2010-01-01T13:02:00.001-05:00

Welcome 2010!

January, and a whole new year, I am ready for you.

{I hope}

So many changes to look forward to this year.

So much to get done, so many little things to enjoy.

A new addition, a graduation, and so much in between.

Hope.

Happiness.

Health.

Dreams and aspirations.

Faith, family, and friends.

Looking forward, thinking back,

Remembering,

And moving on.

Not giving up,

Not letting go.

Holding tight to those we love.

New paths to travel,

New ways to explore,

While keeping old roads open.

Quiet times,

Celebrations,

Joy in simple moments.

May your new year be filled with all of this and more.

Let the next chapter begin!

Readying for the next big event...

2009-12-29T11:04:00.001-05:00

Three little noses are pressed to the window this morning watching the entertainment next door. The man who plows our neighbor's driveway apparently backed his truck into the snowbank and buried his back tires and another truck has been spinning his tires trying to pull him out for the past fifteen minutes or so. So of course when I spotted this scenario you know I called out, "Hey kids! Come look at this!" You can't buy this type of entertainment, folks.

I wonder if the men milling around outside appreciate their cheering section at all- Wahoo! He's gettin' out! Yeeeaaah! come the enthusiastic cries from my kids who are perched on the back of the couch.

Moments later... Okay, that did not end well. At some point, Hannah left the viewing stand and got into Jack's new markers that were left on the kitchen table- to which of course he flipped out and pulled her of the bench. Now Hannah's sporting a bobbed lip, the plow guy is gone, and a new war is brewing over whose candy Hannah just found on the kitchen counter. Ahh... The peaceful week that follows Christmas day is pure bliss, I tell you.

Quite truthfully it has been a fun few days. My sister and her family are in town which means lots of time speant drinking coffee, visiting, and- for the kids- endless opportunities to play with cousins.

I undecorated the tree yesterday to discover the top is nothing more than some scraggly sticks, and even the mere act of breathing within a two foot radius of the beast causes a rainshower of pine needles. The crispy brances at the bottom are as wide as an elephant, though, so I'm waiting for my husband to clip some limbs off before we attempt to haul the thing out.

I never take my tree down this early- I ususaly like to leave it up for this week after Christmas but this year I suddenly have the pressing desire to clear out December and move on to 2010. Slight nesting instinct is beginning to kick into full gear over here. Approximately six weeks to go combined with my fears of going three weeks early again have me on a sudden time crunch to ready this place for a new baby. Wait a minute. Let me digest that please. Three weeks?! I know it's not likely that I'll go that early again but... I was so unprepared last time, I feel like I have to be ready by that point this time.

Woah. Didn't realize myself I was narrowing in that closely on the final stretch until I typed it. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Please excuse me while I go hyperventilate.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T18:06:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope your day was peaceful and happy. Santa came to this house last night and unloaded a pile of presents under the tree- my kids said they heard him on the rooftop.

This morning both sets of grandparents came over to watch the kids open their presents. The kids amazingly slept in until 9 a.m.- all the Christmas partying has finally caught up with them. However, by about 9:08 all presents were opened. Okay I exaggerate... but only slightly- it didn't take them long to tear through the paper to discover if Santa had delivered their little requests.

My parents then moved on to their next stop while Ryan's parents stayed for lunch (that they provided.) Usually we've gone to their house for lunch on Christmas day, but with the weather unpredictable today and Ryan having to work the afternoon shift, we decided it would be easier to cook lunch here. Talk about easy (for me)! They came in the door with all the fixings for a delicious ham dinner- and all I did was I provide the oven.

So, now the kids are content as can be- busy with their new toys and I'm relaxing here with a cup of coffee musing at how quiet they're being.

What a perfect Christmas Day. So thankful for all we've been blessed with in this life and for that first Christmas day!

Twas just days before Christmas...

2009-12-22T20:35:00.001-05:00

...And ooh, those Oreo truffles in the front porch are killing me. I'm scrimping with them on the party trays, I can't stop thinking about them when I'm sitting down to a cup of coffee. Or right after I've eaten a meal. Or first thing in the morning when I wake up. Or right before I'm heading up the stairs to go to bed. It's rather distracting. And I have this sinking feeling that by the time our last party rolls around on Sunday evening there will be no more Oreo truffles to stick on the plate. They're that good. Or I'm just that pregnant. Either way, I can't let them be. Just one more. Okay. ONE more. And that's it... After the next one. Wait, that one has an odd shape- better get rid of it quick.

I'm trying to waste some time waiting for the kids to fall asleep so I can finish up some last minute things. But they continue to talk and giggle and anticipate, I'm sure, as they have every night for the past week about Santa coming and what he might bring them. Their excitement is no longer containable and it's rather contagious as well. I'm feeling a bit giddy with anticipation myself. Or that could just be the sugar buzz from the truffles.

Or it could be the fact that I'm already slightly overtired. I did something completely uncharacteristic this morning- woke up at 6:30, quickly ate my breakfast and drank my morning coffee while I put the finishing touches on my to-do list, and then went crazy. By 7:40 a.m. I had the entire kitchen cleaned (not a small feat, I might add), the cupboards scrubbed (thanks to my Norwex cleaning rags), and had the floor mopped. I tackled the bathroom as well before the kids awoke. And after they were up and fed, I moved on to the living room (hauled some toys up to the kid's bedrooms, quickly stuffed a few things into a bag to get rid of while they weren't watching), waded through the entry way, cleared out the hallway that seems to be a clutter magnet of miscellaneous homeless items. I have to admit, I was inspired by Juli last week. Thanks Juli- my Christmas present to myself is a clean house! Feels nice.

It's those truffles, I tell you.

Okay, I think the kids are finally settling down. It's been quiet for a few minutes. Time for me to get back to work!

Christmas program

2009-12-20T21:02:00.001-05:00

After going to the Sunday school Christmas program this evening and hearing all those sweet little voices telling the Christmas story, I feel like Christmas has truly settled in my heart. The presents are (mostly) wrapped, the baking is done, the tree has been up for some time... But it isn't until I hear those Christmas peices and listen to all the children singing of the very first Christmas day that I finally feel like it's Christmas. I tried to tell the kids, this is what Christmas is really about as we were on our way to the program.

The day we went to visit Santa, I was warmed by Lydia's words as we were on our way to see the jolly old elf himself. We were walking in the door and she slipped her hand in mine and said, I know why we really have Christmas- it's because it's Jesus' birthday. Yes, sweetie, you are exactly right. Amidst all the other excitement that goes on with Christmas I'm so glad they can realize that is the true reason we celebrate.

So as the countdown blazes on- five days to go!- I'm feeling quite peaceful. The next few days promise to be busy (and I gauruntee you this peace will slip away more than once- probably only to be relocated in the box of truffles keeping cold in the front porch). Yet, I'm looking forward to all the Christmas parties and seeing family and friends. And of course, the excitement in my children's eyes on Christmas morning.

I hope you too are able to find some peaceful moments this week- and enjoy the sights and sounds and whispers of Christmas swirling around you!

Final exams & Christmas cookies

2009-12-15T21:30:00.003-05:00

Wow, it's been a while! The semester finished up yesterday with our final exams and it feels so nice to have some time off now. I know how fast the time goes by, and I know this little four week break is going to be gone in a blink between Christmas and parties and family in town... But I'm going to enjoy every minute of not having any papers due or tests to study for!

And then when we go back- one more semester! Even typing that seems unreal. And I don't think I'll believe it until I'm actually done for good. But, oh it's so close now!

In other news- the energy in my house is reaching all time highs this week in the five and under crowd while my patience is waning. I took them to see Santa last weekend and both L & J sat on his lap. J usually isn't so brave, but I think he figured if he didn't voice his wants he might be left with nothing on Christmas morning. Mom keeps threatening that Santa's not going to leave them anything if they're not good so I think he had to take it to the source himself.

We frosted cut out cookies tonight. The kids kept at it for about an hour before they finally tired of it. J spent most of the time frosting a snowflake cookie all different colors and sprinkles. It was quite the work of art by the time he finished with it. I thought I might attempt to do some other baking after the kids were in bed, but somewhere between putting them to bed and scraping the frosting off the table I lost all energy. There's always tomorrow right?

Giving Thanks

2009-11-26T10:24:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. My house is still quiet this morning as the two older kids are gone with Dad to the hunting camp. Every year the dads in my family take the kids out to the hunting camp to spend the night, and this year I was happy to send Ryan out the door with two kiddos.

The grounds are covered in white today which has such a pretty effect- although I'm sure the roads are sloppy. Still, the frosted trees, the puffs of white on the window panes is beautiful from right here.

When Ryan and the kids come home we're off to his parent's for dinner. Family, good food, and so much to be thankful for... Ah, I love this time of year.

Take care in your travels today and Happy Thanksgiving!

Five years old

2009-11-24T09:24:00.001-05:00

Dear Lydia,

You are five years old today which leaves me wondering where the years have gone. You told me you still feel four, and four is still your favorite number. For now. Trying on a new age always takes a little bit of time, dear, and truthfully I think no matter how old we get we always feel the same inside.

The other night I overheard you making a wish as you picked out a 'wishing star' in the clear black sky. You wished you could be a beautiful princess. That is how you are these days- princesses and dress up clothes, imagination and little-girl dreams. Yet you transition so easily between playing with your dollhouse and playing trucks or dinosours with your brother.

You're always skipping and running and fluttering around. One minute you are a figure skater twirling around the living room and the next you're a cross country runner doing laps around the entire downstairs. You're full of stories and hope, childhood dreams and 'happily ever after alls', as you like to say. I love the conversations we have these days.

Someday, as the years go by and the candles on your cake increase, maybe you'll remember your five year old birthday and your princess cake the way I remember the day you were born like it was just a few feathery moments ago. And as you grow older, remember I am always right here for you.

Happy Birthday, Lydia. You already are my princess.

Love,

Mom

Gratitude

2009-11-20T08:29:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting here drinking my coffee, thinking ahead to what the next weeks might bring. My little girl's birthday, Thanksgiving, getting ready for Christmas time, and all the busy, crazy joy that goes with that.

There is so much to be thankful for right now. The older I get, the more experiences life brings, the more I realize how grateful I am just to be here, where I am, right now. This pregnancy has really taught me a lot about slowing down and just appreciating the moment we are living in. It's all about finding moments of quietness between the chaos and holding on to those. Moments that let me breathe, let me create, let me be still and appreciate the littlest things.

So right now, with so much to look forward to, I'm happy being right here. My daughter drew a picture yesterday (I wish I had taken a picture of it to share, but I accidentally left it at my Mom's house.) It was a picture of our family- with everyone sporting a bellybutton in the middle of their stomachs. I've often thought it's amusing that kids put bellybuttons in their pictures- just seemed like an odd thing to include. Until my mom filled me in.

She said awhile back a nurse informed her that when children put bellybuttons on their drawings of people it means they have a deep connection with home. That made me smile because- however real that may or may not be- I'd like to believe it's true. This week, especially I was feeling worn and exhausted from unexpected doctor's visits and shuttling the kids from one place to the next for the past several days. So to hear that, I didn't have a choice but to believe it's true- because it warmed me in a way I can't explain.

So today, I'm thankful to be right here with my children. To not have to rush anywhere or be some place else, but to just enjoy being home. There's so much to look forward to, but yet so much to appreciate right now, right here.

A little reminder

2009-11-15T22:43:00.001-05:00

Here it is Juli. This poem used to hang on my mother's kitchen wall:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,

for babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.

So, quiet down cobwebs,

Dust go to sleep;

I'm rocking my babies,

And babies don't keep.

-Unknown

Is there a storm coming that I don't know about?!

2009-11-13T12:55:00.002-05:00

Oooh, we have an ornery crowd over here today. Before 8 a.m. I felt my nerves were wearing dangerously thin. For some reason, before breakfast I don't do too well with squabbles and whining and wailing declarations of, "I didn't get enough sleep! Jack woke me up too eaaaarllllyy!"

Well, after breakfast in an innocent attempt to improve the situation around here, I proceeded to make construction paper turkeys with L & J. For some crazy Susie-homemaker reason I thought doing something creative might put them in more agreeable moods. Crank up the Christmas music, have a cup of coffee and it will be a fun experience for all, I thought. My rosy plans quickly turned on me because Hannah wouldn't stay off the table and began depositing paper and crayons around the kitchen floor faster than I could get the pieces cut out. As I was reaching for the glue sticks on top the fridge I knocked over a container of foam beads which quickly attracted Hannah's attention. I didn't even try to stop her. Just let her drop them around the house like Hansel & Gretel's bread crumbs (did I get it right this time?). We'll be finding them in various locations until 2012, I'm sure of it.

Then Jack decided to glue his whole project to the window because foolishly I'd mentioned we could hang them in the window when we were done. By this point I was ready to toss everything, but in all attempts to remain calm, I tried to finish what we'd started exclaiming ridiculous falsities over the growing commotion like, "This is such a fun project, hey guys?" while Lydia scowled at me across the table. In the end it was me sitting at the kitchen table gluing the remains together while the kids moved on to something else.

And then the fights continued. Fights over chalk, fights over paper clips, fights over who gets to look at the back of the cookie box. And amidst all that, Hannah continued to perfect her technique of tipping over buckets or boxes or whatever works as a good stool to reach places she shouldn't be... In the process she managed to spill my coffee all over a pattern I'd been reading and a ball of white yarn. And now I just heard something crash in the kitchen followed by a "Whoopsies."

All the while my husband sleeps soundly upstairs after a working the night shift.

That's it. I'm running away. You didn't hear that from me, and you have no idea where I went.

Crochet much?

2009-11-03T22:52:00.000-05:00

So, I had this naive vision that I could go to Wal-Mart, pick up a crochet hook, come home and type "Learn to crochet" into youtube and within minutes I'd be whipping my way through a hat.

Well. Apparently my hands are all set up to knit and when I put just one needle, uh, excuse me- hook- in my hand I'm all lost. My left hand doesn't know how to hold the yarn- my right hand wants to keep taking over, and therefore I am incapable of keeping any tension on the yarn so by the time I get to the end of the row I've got holes and gaps and crookedy loops going every single direction.

For a quiet hobby that's supposed to be rhythmic and relaxing, I'm doing an awful lot of grumbling and complaining under my breath as I once again tear out the row I've just completed only to try. one. more. time. Because I'm as stubborn as they come. And I want to get this. But oh, it's frustrating.

At this point, I would like to take a moment to negotiate the cruel falsities crocheters (is that a word?) led me to believe throughout the years.

Myth #1: Crocheting is easier than knitting. Uh-huh. Sure it is. If you've never knitted before it's easy to say anything.

Myth #2: Using one hook is so much easier to control than two needles. Well, the concept is nice but when you've learned to knit first there's something so unnatural about dropping a needle.

Myth #3: Crocheting is quicker than knitting. Just for the record I've been sitting here for nearly four hours (yep, four) and the best I have to show is two rows of approximately seven stitches- and ooooh, it's so not pretty. I can't count how many times I've torn back my work. Can't seem to get passed that second row.

So there you have it. It's five after eleven and I'm beat. I hate to admit defeat, but I think for tonight it's time to set aside the crochet hook and the ball of yarn and call it a night before I get vicious. Phooey.